Nathan is my second child, and also my second boy. He is two and a half, and nowhere near potty trained. The kid will fill his shorts and wallow in it for hours if I let him. I, personally, would be a little uncomfortable if I had that much poop in my pants. He, apparently, could care less. His older brother Graham was the same until shortly after his third birthday, and then was trained in a day. G has had only two or three accidents since. That’s proof to me that waiting until they are ready is worth the wait. Right?
EVERY TIME I change Nathan’s diaper, and am face to *ahem* sphincter, I wonder why he is not bothered by this procedure. If someone were to lay me on my back, put my ankles up by my ears and swipe me with a cold wipe, I would feel a little…I don’t know…
VIOLATED.
Seriously.
I wonder if he will get to that place. Ever. I really don’t want to be doing this when he is sixteen.
Today, Graham gave me hope.
G told me that his “bum was itchy”. We went to the bathroom and gave it a few extra wipes. “That’s not working” was his reply. I asked him if he wanted me to put some special cream on his bum. He said, “That might be a good idea.”
He laid down on the bench seat. I put his ankles up by his ears and stared down the barrel of his crack. I dipped my fingers in the Vaseline and performed the two-finger swipe. He shuddered and then piped up in a still, small voice.
“What’s happening?”
Let me tell you, son. I am doing something that I hope to never have done to me. I’m sure I will be old and decrepit some day and get to pee in a bag, but I honestly hope that the Circle of Life does not consist of you giving ME the two-finger swipe.
And if you could get your brother on board with the “anti-swipe” campaign, I will pay you in all of the candy and chocolate that you could ever hope for.
Thank goodness, I’m not alone!!
We are potty training Makenna, she’s 2 1/2 as well. She has the pee thing down (most of the time) but freely poops her pants at will. It doesn’t bother her at all. It bothers me, however, to wash out those nasty girl-panties. How is it that she can scream the minute a dab of pee hits her underwear, but will hide, grunt, and poop and run around in it like it’s no big deal?
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I completely agree that waiting until they are ready is SO worth it! Ethan was 3 years 4 months when he finally became “ready” and then he was trained in 4 days. And like Graham, hardly any accidents since.
[Night time dryness, however, is another story. Sigh.]
Tyler is 2-and-a-half like Nathan, and is quite interested in peeing on the toilet but when it comes to poop, he’s also willing to let it sit in his pants. He will usually tell me he has done it though, so I think he likes getting it cleaned up relatively quickly. But still, he doesn’t seem in a hurry to try pooping on the loo. He often asks for “underpants” and I’ve reminded him he won’t be getting any of them until he stops peeing and pooping in his diaper. He’ll just go “okay” and that’s the end of the conversation.
Oh well, he and Nathan will get there. Eventually. Graham & Ethan are proof that waiting is a gooooood strategy. Why waste 18 months of your life taking changes of clothes everywhere and wiping up puddles of pee and rinsing poopy undies when you can just wait … and they do all the work!
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You and your cute little family make me laugh!!!
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Good luck with the campaign!!!
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Angella, all I can say is thanks for the laugh. You are hilarious! I love your words…. classic!
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Hee hee, the two finger swipe – I am with you, I don’t need to experience that!
He’ll get there, and you will enjoy it even more because you waited so long
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Oh man. And I thought scooping the litter box was bad.
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my mom works at a care home and swipes very OLD bums all day. I don’t know how she does it! My friend Rowena works there too… and shared a funny story about some toilet paper disappearing into a VERY LARGE old bum… and she couldn’t find it for the life of her. Again… I don’t know how she does it! Makes for some funny stories – if bodily function humour is your thing
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I just had to tell you that as a result of reading your blog regularly now, I found myself buying cadburry mini eggs and diet coke at the grocery store today. Imagine the power you have to influence the masses!
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hahaha! This too shall pass I’m sure…when he’s ready!
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I know this is a tad different, but both of our kids were “behind” (no pun intended) in certain areas. Aidan JUST learned to tie his shoes, barely, and he is 7. Aliah was the only one in grade that still had training wheels at the bike rodeo. She took a long time to learn to ride and now she caught right up with her peers at her own pace. All kids move at their own speed and will be just fine in the long run. I know, easy for me to say when im not the one wiping bums, but just putting it into perspective
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Hmm, can’t wait…
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My first son was just a little over three as well, there was no hope before that and I think my little one will be the same, that’s just boys for us.
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This is what I have to look forward to next year! Yippee! (much sarcasm there!)
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I would seriously be pulling my hair out right now if my G had decided not to potty train right after the baby was born. After changing the baby’s tiny bum, G’s just seemed WAY TO BIG to still be in diapers.
I hope he gets sick of it soon for your sake!
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That post made me laugh so hard!! Aiden showed amazing initiative a few months ago and was asking to go on the potty. I was so impressed but somehow I got busy and forgot to pursue this and now he screams NOOOOOOO when I broach the topic. Ah well, I will wait the time! LOL
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