I still remember that very first blog post I published over five years ago. I was so excited that this “thing” I had been looking for, this medium for me to tell stories and share photos of my kids, actually existed. I remember waking up in the mornings and telling Matthew that I needed to go “get it out”. Or I would be struck mid-afternoon with a thought or a story and I would throw it up onto the BLAWG. I had no idea about stats or readership or comments (I pretty much had zero of those said comments). I did it because I loved it and because I couldn’t help it and because it seemed like a natural thing to do.
Time passed and strangers (!) started commenting on my site and I realized that there was a whole (Internet) world that I had no idea even existed. I was a little hesitant at first but soon realized that these people were good and kind and persons that I could consider friends. Over time I have met many of them (not all of them) and they are even more lovely in person than they are online, if you can even believe that.
I get the occasional “real life” person who asks me if it ever feels weird to share things here and for the most part the answer is “no”. If I stop to think about how many people in my small town know far more about me than I do about them it feels a bit odd, but I really do share such a small percentage of my life, which are usually things I would tell them if we sat down to chat anyway.
The Internet and I have been in a good place, is what I’m saying.
Oh, there have been struggles. I went through a phase where I thought that comments measured my value. Yeah, no. Comments aren’t what they used to be and it’s just the way it rolls these days. I need to use this space when and if I feel like writing and I truly do write like nobody’s reading. It’s been the most freeing thing since I came to that head space and I’ve really felt at peace with how this site fits into my life.
Last week was a bit of a shake-up for me due to a number of mean and/or ridiculous comments fired my way. I’m pretty non-controversial in anything that I write and as such I tend to fly under the radar when it comes to Trolls. I don’t know if someone declared last week Troll Week or if the full moon brought out The Crazy but by the time Friday came to a close I could only shake my head and wonder why I do this exactly. Matthew’s solution was for me to just quit but that would be like him quitting hunting/fishing/snowmobiling so I know he was kidding. I think.
No, I’m not quitting. My skin has gotten (marginally) thicker over the years. I’m also not engaging the haters because if there’s one thing I’ve learned over these last five years of blogging is that the Internet really is a lot like high school. You have your friends, there are the popular people and the geeks (who, unlike in high school, are actually quite cool) and all of the regular groups of people you found in high school and continue to find in life. This means , of course, that there are jerks. Their dislike of you or what you have to say may or may not be warranted, but the fact that they feel the need to voice it shows that they (lack social skills, and) have issues that have nothing at all to do with you. In most cases they are just projecting their own insecurities onto you which, when I turn around what was said to me and pin it on them, gives me a good, hearty laugh.
Thanks to all of you who stood up for me, who voiced your support, who took the time to email me and encourage me. Yes, if I did not write my stories on the Internet, I would not be subject to petty trolls. I also wouldn’t have met the many people who make my heart smile on a daily basis, some of whom are my closest friends on this entire planet. There is far more good than bad that comes out of my tiny corner of the Internet.
I’m not going anywhere any time soon. That’s a promise. And to some people, a threat.
*Needtobreathe; I’ve had their The Heat album on repeat for, oh, a month or so. I’m annoying (to my husband) like that.
Ah, sorry about the trolls rearing their ugly head(s) again … you know that 99.99% of your readers totally LOVE you and LOVE to read what you have to say, and would never say anything spiteful … it does make me angry when I see rude/nasty comments on people’s blogs, but I’m glad that you have a thick enough skin to not listen to the haters. Because I wuv you! xx
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..Sk8er boi =-.
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Just ignore them. When I was still blogging, I usually delete comments that are simply rude. Most of these comments are from anonymous people who thinks they can hide their identities. Bah! They’re just cowards.
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angella Reply:
September 27th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Indeed.
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I’ve been a bad blog reader the past few weeks, so I didn’t notice the trolls, but it’s always amazing to me how the nicest people get the meanest trolls and people like me don’t get any. Those anonymous fuckers like to pick on anyone they think won’t fight back.
.-= Avitable´s last blog ..A letter in Canadian for @redneckmommy =-.
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angella Reply:
September 27th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Exactly. I’m too sensitive to fight back (usually) but I have no problems using the IP blocker.
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The internet is like high school, I agree. And, as the bumper sticker says, mean people suck… whether they’re teenage bullies or cyber creeps. How dare they criticize my friend Angella!!! [insert flaring nostrils and fist shaking in righteous anger]
Your blog (and the person who writes it, aka Angella the Awesome) is a brilliant, sensitive, fun place in the wide online wilderness. Keep up the good work, my dear. And we will keep reminding you that you’re loved by your faithful readers (who hopefully more than make up for the occasional jerk-troll).
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A -
I love to visit your blog. Your writing and photos are fantastic.
Sorry, I don’t always comment. I know it’s important to those of you who publish. Sometimes I just don’t have a thought worth sharing. But you always have my thanks and support.
A-
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Hey Angela,
I’m a first time commenter, but I’m been meaning to comment for a while. I love to read your blog and I’m glad to see you’re not giving up on it. I appreciate the honesty in your writing and your positive outlook on life.
I also like to peek over at your recipe page once in a while and everything that I’ve tried has been SO yummy! So feel free to add more recipes….please
-Laura
P.S. I too love Need to Breath and always have them playing in the car. Do you have their latest CD, “The Outsiders”? It’s also a good one.
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Sometimes, a difference of opinion when presented from a non-confrontational adult point of view can be a good thing. That being said there are people who think that their point of view is the only right one and they should keep their narrow minded comments and opinions to themselves. If someones opinions and/or feelings are different it doesn’t mean yours are wrong. I hope you keep blogging!
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angella Reply:
September 27th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
I will! I loved your point.
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I’m sorry about the trolls. So uncalled for, and really ridiculous. But I will second and third what everyone else has said – I love reading your blog and you are an amazing person! You have a great attitude about the whole thing – better than mine would be!!
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angella Reply:
September 27th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Sometimes the stuff I DON’T post shows more of my bad attitude.
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The world is full of assholes, so even if you weren’t blogging, yo’d probably run into some other kind of troll.
I’m glad you aren’t letting them bully you or anything!
.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..When I Get Tired- I Lose My Filter =-.
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I don’t understand why people feel the need to make hurtful comments, written or verbal. I don’t know what they try to accomplish? Make someone as unhappy as they are? Don’t let them get you down……They aren’t worth it!
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Technically- a technicality =-.
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It’s so easy to be mean on the screen.
Lots of love!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..To run or not to run =-.
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Sorry about the negative comments. I think you’ve got a good attitude about them. Every now and then I would get a comment on my old blog that would shock me. They always seemed so out of the blue and angry. Much angrier than anything I wrote would warrant.
I guess that is one of the nice things about starting my new blog. Not enough traffic to get trolls
.-= Madge´s last blog ..Before-After =-.
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I totally missed the hate, but you know, I always have your back. Down with the haters!
And if you quit, I will cry. That is all
.-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..Dont ask me =-.
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Awesoooooooome. I got caught up in all the stuff that doesn’t matter for a while (number of comments, hits, etc) and it made blogging stressful instead of fun. When I got rid of that? It became fun again. I started blogging for similar reasons, although mine started as a personal journal and turned into a family journal. Same difference.
I agree about the trolls, and I often read those comments and wonder, Would you say that TO HER FACE? I DON’T THINK SO. SO SHUT UP! Trolls make me angry, especially when they attack (beautiful) children or beliefs. Seriously. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Simple simple.
Hope you’re having a great Monday and I’m thankful you have this space on the internet so that I could have met you! I’m thankful for both times I got to see you!
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Luckily I’m not popular enough to have trolls. Or maybe I’m weird enough that the trolls are at a complete loss for words. Either way, I’m always in complete shock when someone would take the time to read your (beautiful) words and then, also take the time to slam them. Boo for haters. Why are you even on the internet, haters?
.-= Danica´s last blog ..Pieces of Thursday =-.
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I think it’s just so important to remember that there are SO many more lovely people commenting than there are rude obnoxious people. I haven’t gotten any really horrible comments… but I’m really hoping that if I do I just have the strength to delete and move on. (Although I’m sure it won’t be that easy)
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Blogging with no Photos The HORROR! =-.
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So glad this week is already better than last week. I love a healthy (sometimes quasi-heated) debate as much as the next girl, but bringing cruelty and lameness into any conversation is never awesome. So glad you’re hanging in. There’s no way I’d ever let you quit, anyway. ; )
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Waiting For Leaves To Change Me =-.
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I am so glad that you’re not going anywhere
(though even if you did, I would force you to be my friend in real life.)
(sorry, I’m creepy.)
Trolls are lame. They have nothing to add to the discussion so I try my best to ignore them. It can be tough to ignore, though, when they’re spewing hatred and ignorance in your direction.
.-= hillary´s last blog ..Autumn Leaves Have Faded Now That Smile I Lost Well Ive Found Somehow =-.
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