I’m typing these words as I sit in the Toronto home of my friend Emma before heading down to Blissdom Canada Thursday afternoon. It feels like I just left my family in order to attend a writing/blogging conference, and I kind of did, but this conference is the only other one that I attend all year and it’s such an entirely different (yet equally awesome) beast from BlogHer. I am thankful that I get to attend. I’m honored, too, that they think I’m worthy of speaking and that so many people I adore and respect have signed up to attend our panel.
It’s hard to leave my family, it always is, and yet here I am. There are phone calls and Skype and emails and gChat and full days spent conferencing and schooling and working and before I know it, we’re all reunited. I’ll burst into tears at some point on my way home – I always do, without fail – but then I am home.
In the meantime, I’m hoping that this time away from the every day will help me gain some focus. I’ve been struggling, a bit, with what I’m “supposed” to be doing. I have my old career path and another working path and do I need to choose between the two? Or suck it up and choose one? Or is there maybe a hybrid of the two? Or something else altogether?
Part of me wishes that I’d never found my creative side. That I could be like so many of my colleagues who love! their career in accounting. A greater part of me is so thankful that I’m not the dork I was eleven years ago who thought accounting completed her. She needed to get a life.
I am not the girl I was eleven years ago and I am not the girl who I thought I would be eleven years from then. I am happy, yes, and I love my family, yes, and I have everything to be thankful for. Yes. I’m just up in the air about what I want to do and about what I should do and about what I need to do.
They may be related. They may not. I don’t even know. I tried journaling it out while on the plane last night and I went in circles, just like I’m doing here.
I feel a lot like my middle son right now. I don’t know is my clutch phrase.
What I do know is that I love these three (and their Daddy) and that I’m hoping that I can come back to them a little bit clearer than when I left.
Here’s hoping.
I love reading everyone’s “I’m going to Blissdom” posts.
Trying to figure out how my blog fits into my life and what I want to get out of my blog is always a struggle. I hope that you can find the clarity that you’re looking for.
See you later tonight!
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Have fun!!
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i have no doubt you’ll find it and figure it all out.
you seem to be doing a FANTASTIC job nonetheless.
have a great time!!!
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Have fun!!!
The funnies thing, reading this, from an observer far far away from the blogging world, is that most of the people who come to listen to you talk on the panel have the same questions and are probably hoping you have the answer.
And round and round the world goes. ‘I don’t know’ is a very good answer. Love.
Traveling mercies to you – and enjoy your trip!!!
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Good luck! I hope you have an amazing time.
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Totes off topic- but can I just say: EMILY’S HAIR?! Where did it all come from? She looks lovely (and always did, mind you).
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angella Reply:
October 23rd, 2011 at 8:51 am
Thank you! And, yes, her HAIR. I still can’t believe she has hair. I love it.
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I hope you come back with a lot of insights to help you be with your three amazing children
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Big like for the children photo
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