When Graham was a baby, and had the occasional fussy time, I would try a soother (pacifier…or suzie). He would have no part of that little piece of plastic. No harm, I figured, as that would be one less habit I would have to break.
When Nathan was born, he came out and started sucking his fingers. The doctor wrapped him in a towel, but left his arm out so he could keep sucking his fingers. He was more prone to accepting the soother if he was a little fussy, but after a few months could not be bothered with it. Again, no skin off of my back.
When Emily was born, she came out sucking her lip. Another baby who sucks, as it were. She seems to have the greatest sucking reflex of all three kids. Her normal routine goes something like this:
Wake up, eat, and then either have some awake time or pass out again. If she has awake time and starts getting tired, she starts rooting like a mad woman. I wonder, Is she hungry? And offer her a boob. She protests (Sheesh, MOM, I’m not HUNGRY, I’m TIRED).
If I place her in her crib with her suzie, she suckles herself off to dreamland. This is new territory for me. I’m not opposed to a soother at bedtime, but I worry that she will be a five year old who has to remove her soother in order to recite her ABC’s.
But the suzie is such a peaceful alternative to letting her cry. I’m a little torn on this subject. I’m not anti-soother, I’m just anti-another-habit-I’ll-have-to-break. I waiver between loving it and worrying that I’m making a big mistake. She could very well be like Nathan and reject it on her own in a few months, or she could grow utterly dependant on it. Either way I’m pretty sure she won’t be using it by the time she hits high school.
To pacify or not to pacify; that is the question.
Go with it! Rebecca had a “dummy” and loved it. When she was a newborn she had it whenever she wanted but when she was a bit older it became just for bedtime or if she had hurt herself (partly because when we were out people would come over to see the baby and pull her dummy out “to see her pretty face” which of course made her cry – grrr). When she was about two she was given the option just after Christmas to put it under the tree and swap it for another present – worked like a charm! The first night she was a little sad for about 15 mins and then that was it. Much easier to reason with an older child than a baby!
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Abby had a soother until she was 1 1/2 years. Is it a habit to break but honestly, I think it’s harder for the parent than it is for the kid. It OUR habit to give it to them when they are crying- that’s the hard one to break. It’s so easy to just plug it in!
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My G wouldn’t take a soother either…would gag on it and spit it out. Instead he found his thumb and STILL pacifies himself that way! I’m not too worried about it though…I guess I’m hoping if I don’t make a big deal about it he’ll just quit when he’s ready.
Such a fine line to walk sometimes this parenting thing!
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As you’ve probably seen in pictures, Liam still has a soother…ya, he’s 2 1/2. I personally wish he didn’t have it at all, but also am relieved that he hasn’t become a thumb/finger sucker like I was. Now that is a hard habit to break. Riley was completely hooked on a soother as well, and I tried to take it away a few times and he was really desperate and would start chewing on his hands. I officially took it away from him just before he was 3 (we mailed it to Santa) and he did just fine. I plan to do the same this Christmas with Liam.
I think some kids just come with an extra strong sucking reflex, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to let them have one unless of course, they still have one in kindergarden!!
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That is a good question, and I like what Jen said about it being our habit and our kids habit. Belle started sucking her fingers instead at about 5 months, but I have no idea what Brooklyn will do. Right now we let her suck it to fall asleep and then take it away before we put her in her crib so if she wakes up she can get used to some self soothing too. We’ll just play it by ear!
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I had a “binkie” and I’m okay. My little brother had a hard time giving his up, though. When my mom threw it in the garbage, I got it out and gave it back to him. I’m such a great sister.
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I wouldn’t worry too much about the “binky” dependency. My son had one until he was 2-years old. A bit before his birthday, we started telling him that we were going to give the “binky” to a baby that didn’t have one. On his birthday we took it away. He asked for it a few times, but otherwise he accepted it and had no problems.
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Ty would only sleep in the swing for the first three months of his life. We had to take that thing with us every where. He now sleeps in a bed that dosen’t move. If it’s something that makes it so you get more sleep it’s a fantastic idea. If she has it until she is five, think about all the sleep you will be getting
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My Riley used one and i loved it..Close to his second birthday i took him off it. He mainly only used it at bedtime at that point anyways…I broke him of it by cutting the tip everyday untill he just woundnt take it anymore..worked like a charm. I loved that he used a soother..easier to break then thumb sucking and it did come in handy when he wouldnt calm down. I tried not to give it to him in the beginging but he was a sucker..He would latch onto me all the time and suck forever..not that he wanted to eat..just wanted to suck.
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I wouldn’t worry, Angella. Ethan had one and he was very attached to it. However, when he was about 18 months old, I made some strict rules about its use. It was only to be used in the bedroom. He knew when he got up in the mornings, to place it on the top of his cot, and leave it there until nap time or bed time. Surprisingly, he didn’t protest at all about this change.
Then, when he was 3, we decided we needed to get rid of it completely. So we cut the top off, and he never asked for it again. EASY!! I know of many people who had a similar easy ride when it was time to “say goodbye”.
So don’t worry – let Emily enjoy it now, because it obviously comforts her and makes her happy. And that is a good thing! You’ll be able to remove it from her later on without too much hassle, I’m sure.
PS. Tyler wouldn’t take one at all, and I swear he cried more than Ethan!
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I say definitely use it but don’t wait too long to break the habit. I know it will be a MAJOR battle to break Megan of the soother. But, the potential fussing this has saved us is miraculous indeed.
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Jack didn’t take one
Kamden did 
It’s been gone since he was 14 months. It wasn’t an issue at all b/c he only used to intially go to sleep.
Soother = happy baby = happy parent
Habits are habits. They can all be broken easily with some groundrules.
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Micah uses a soother. My nipples were toasted from all the sucking that he wanted to do & my firstimer ‘I don’t know any better’ ways. I tried to give him his soother actually a lot sooner but he wouldn’t take it. I tried again around 6 weeks & he just loved it & now sucks away. I too am afraid of the day when he’ll have to give it up. When is best? We haven’t decided yet either & hopefully it will become more and more clear when the time comes. I think it will. I say, “let her have it & enjoy it”.
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I say if she’s still sucking it when she’s old enought to carry on a conversation, you’ve got a problem.
But that’s a little ways off. No worries, mama.
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Take the sleep
! Neither of my kids took a paci or sucked their fingers. The best idea for getting rid of the paci I have ever seen is the paci fairy. When the child is old enough to give it up, the paci fairy calls and asks for it back for a new baby who really needs it. The child leaves the pacis on the doorstep, and the paci fairy leaves a small something “grownup in return. I know several people that this has worked for!
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I’m a full on soother supporter. I haven’t read any of these comments so as not to cloud my opinion. Love it! Here’s why: You can take away a soother but you cannot cut off their thumbs. I was a thoumb sucker until I was six. My kids are not. They had the soother as babies, and then we made a rule that it was only for bedtime and carseat. No having it in the mouth all day. Then we took it away in the carseat and by age 2, it was time to take it away at bedtime. It was much easier then I anticipated. Lauren is a soother girl. Whatever gets her to sleep. And, two other kids can’t be wrong:) Now I’m going to go read your other comments!
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Zachary didn’t start using one till he was 10 months old and then started using it as a teething toy. It became a bedtime/naptime/and if I’m really really really cranky and tired…I want my binky!!!
I’ll have to post the whole story about Zachary and his binky…and how incredibly easy it was to get him to give it up…when it was HIS time.
I think that’s key for any child. If they are ready for it, it’ll be a breeze.
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Hurray for soothers!
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