Beach

Last night, while having dinner Graham posed the question:

“What is old school?”

To which my beloved husband replied, “Your Mom.”

I am two years older than my husband, so I get these barbs on a daily (if not hourly) basis. It’s all in good fun and I can give it even better than I take it.

The conversations we’ve been having with Graham lately is further confirming that he is six going on sixteen. He has a sharp wit, a keen mind and a wicked sense of humor. He is also almost up to my shoulders when he stands next to me. Having a kid who is so grown up all of a sudden has had me pondering my own aging process.

For the first time in my life I am generally comfortable in my body. I am in the best shape that I have ever been and have muscles where I have never seen them before. I have a general idea of what style of clothing looks good on me and I can do my makeup without looking like a call girl. If this is the best I can be, is it all downhill from here? Is this the peak of my physical body? For while I may have new muscles, I also have new wrinkles. That crease between my eyebrows stares back at me daily and reminds me that I am no longer twenty-one with dewy skin. I am aging. It happens to everyone but for some reason I was in denial that it would happen to me.

Having children out of the “baby stage” is contributing to that “getting old” feeling. When I had two preschoolers and a toddler I felt young. Exhausted, yes, but young. I was fertile! I had babies! But now my “baby” is out of diapers, sleeps in a “big girl” bed and rides in a booster seat. She’s technically not a baby anymore.

Part of that fear of aging is thinking about be how my kids will view me. Are they going to look at me how I looked at my own parents when I was a child? As these old people who were cool sometimes but were almost like a whole other species of human beings? Who had no life outside of us kids and seemed almost like one dimensional people? People who were stagnant and maybe a little bit irrelevant?

I’m hoping that maybe the words that I type here can be the bridge between the me that they see me as and the me that I think I am. In addition to being that big person who does their laundry, makes their meals and tells them to STOP FIGHTING ALREADY, I am a (somewhat) balanced human being. I can be funny sometimes, I can be thoughtful sometimes, I have friends that I like to hang out with. I have hobbies and interests and am not just a Mom, but a wife and a friend. An accountant, a photographer, a writer, a lover of life.

I’m youthful. I’m intelligent. I’m fun. I’m quirky. I’m driven. I’m witty. I’m cute. I’m even kind of cool sometimes.

I’m still relevant.

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Comments:

  1. Elizabeth July 30, 2009 9:26 am edit

    When does relevance go away, right? I think the role of Mom is ageless. You will always be the Mom. In my thinking, that’s the part that matters. But, yes, I totally get what you are saying.

    Elizabeth’s last blog post..Knock Your Socks Off

  2. Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire July 30, 2009 9:50 am edit

    I am sure that they will look back and see you for the awesomeness that you are.

    ((hugs)))

    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..Leaving the Bright Lights & Big City to Play Amish

  3. Kami's Khlopchyk July 30, 2009 10:38 am edit

    You are awesomely awesome and your kids totally get that except from the ages 12 – 20. It’s the black hole known as the teen years, that’s where I highly recommend taking up drinking. (not really though ;)

    Kami’s Khlopchyk’s last blog post..We remembered

  4. Kami's Khlopchyk July 30, 2009 10:40 am edit

    The awesmacking awesomeness that is you will never elude your kids except between the ages of 12 and 24. Nothing you can do about though ;)

    Kami’s Khlopchyk’s last blog post..We remembered

  5. Kerri Anne July 30, 2009 10:41 am edit

    As Graham’s, Nathan’s and Emily’s mom you will always be relevant. As Matthew’s beautiful wife, you will always be relevant. As a lover of life, you will always be relevant. As my dear friend, you will always be relevant.

    (Can you tell I’m feeling Le Mushy today? But it’s all true stories. Love you babe.)

    Kerri Anne’s last blog post..Confessions Of A Movie-Going Mind

  6. sizzle July 30, 2009 10:41 am edit

    You? Are totally relevant and cool.

    sizzle’s last blog post..My Brain Is Melty

  7. hillary July 30, 2009 10:51 am edit

    I love LOVE this photo!

    My dad was 38 years old when I was born, which isn’t OLD but has felt old at times. Like when I’m trying to get him to buy a freaking cell phone but he refuses. I love that your kids are going to be able to look back and read this blog and see you as a human instead of just a parent. I wish I had the opportunity to view bits of my parents’ pasts.

    hillary’s last blog post..Sister Do You Know My Name? I’ve Heard It Before But I Want You To Know

  8. Jen July 30, 2009 11:21 am edit

    HECK YES YOU ARE!!!

    I hope to be a “cool mom” when my kids hit the time in their life when parents are very uncool.

    Great post :)

    Jen’s last blog post..blog friends are neat. so are maps.

  9. C @ Kid Things July 30, 2009 12:13 pm edit

    The good news with having parents who were already on the brink of being senior citizens (seriously, my dad was 64 when I graduated high school) my whole life is that I’m bound to be cooler than they were.

    C @ Kid Things’s last blog post..RIP Sweeney

  10. Kristabella July 30, 2009 2:23 pm edit

    OF COURSE YOU ARE RELEVANT!

    I think about that with my niece and nephews. I wasn’t ever super close with my aunts and I don’t even remember my aunts playing with me like I play with them. So I hope I am not looked at as “old Auntie.” That would kill me.

    My oldest half-sister turns 21 tomorrow. I’m almost 11 years older than her. I babysat her as an infant. And now, she’s an ADULT. She studied abroad in Rome. She’s almost able to drink legally! This makes me feel older than when I turned 30!

    Kristabella’s last blog post..Dear God, Thank You For The Blog Material

  11. Danica July 30, 2009 2:28 pm edit

    Hey. You don’t have to tell us. You are, you are and you are.

    Danica’s last blog post..Who needs to travel long distances to see friends

  12. bethany actually July 30, 2009 2:57 pm edit

    YOU know that you’re cool, and WE know that…but you might as well face up to it now: your kids ARE going to think you’re uncool and totally out of it at least sometimes. It’s part of growing up and learning to separate from our parents. It’s actually healthy in a way for kids to think their parents are lame. :-) But then when they’re older, they’ll look at you again and realize that, hmm, their mom really was cool all along.

    bethany actually’s last blog post..enjoying Troy’s last day at home

  13. mommyknows July 30, 2009 6:54 pm edit

    I am with Bethany. I think she is ‘right on the money’.

    mommyknows’s last blog post..I Love You So Much …

  14. Laura July 30, 2009 7:08 pm edit

    OK, so this totally makes sense that you are having all of these feelings / wonderings (?)/ reactions. And because you’re smart and awesome you totally got it right – yes, you are all of those things and you are still relevant. You, Matthew and your friends obviously know that – yay!

    What I really wanted to say though, is don’t worry about the kids. You are clearly such a great Mom and they obviously adore you and admire you. It seems to me that you’ve given them the gift of allowing them to depend on you as Mommy, which truly is how they should think of you most of the time. But you also don’t hide the fact that you have a life and other roles from them, which is also great. They will see all of what you are and it will be the best example for them in their lives and in their relationships.

    All of that being true, as they reach puberty and individuate, they will probably not think you’re too cool. As other smart friends have said – totally appropriate. And then – after 25 is likely – they’ll start to really see you as a person and appreciate the crap out you, more so as they grow up.

    My Mom was 25 when she had me and now, at 32 I can see and appreciate all the ways that she is relevant and vibrant and her own person, in a way that I could not appreciate when I was between 12-25.

    Go you!

  15. Hannah July 30, 2009 10:52 pm edit

    You are so relevant – and so cool!! Your kids will inevitably go through a stage where you are NOT cool, but I don’t think you can do much about this. Once they’ve come out the other side, they’ll realise how awesome you are. I also struggle with wanting to “keep up” with all the cool and hip things of today, but despite my best efforts, I know I won’t be able to. Just have to do our best to be “cool” mums/moms, right?!

    Hannah’s last blog post..Oh Boy!

  16. Elaine July 31, 2009 10:07 am edit

    Hell ya you are!! Sorry, just had to say it. And us girls who are “old school” can still rock it. I saw you with that “cheeseburgher” hat on your head! ; )

    I have to say that I feel kinda of old-ish during this pregnancy. Although I know I’m really not. Maybe the baby will make me feel young again? We’ll see…

    Elaine’s last blog post..PSF – This Week With My Boys

  17. Andrea July 31, 2009 11:34 pm edit

    Yup! You are!

    I thought, all while growing up, that my mom was the coolest thing ever :)

    -Andrea

    Andrea’s last blog post..Sweetest Hair Bokeh…

  18. Amy @ Muddy Boots August 1, 2009 5:20 am edit

    It was my birthday yesterday so I can totally relate to this line of questioning. I think it’s good and healthy and keeps you from getting overly complacent about your life.

    You, Angella, are lovely, interesting and, yes, definitely relevant.

    Amy @ Muddy Boots’s last blog post..wrinkly toes

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