This is kind of like Blur’s Song 2 except that there is no “Woohoo” factor (Unless, of course, you feel inspired). There isn’t any music either. Jumping is always an option, if you feel so led. It’s been an entire two months since my last rant (Really?)(Which, in our household, is always followed by, “Seriously? OH, COME ON.”) It felt good to put it all out there when I wrote it way back in the day (Or two months ago. Whatever.) Based on the fact that I am running on too much work, too little sleep and (possibly) a few too many raging hormones, I felt it was time to bring on Ms. Ranty McRantypants.

1. We have credit cards. Shocking, I know. We try to use these credit cards for good and not evil. This is why we put all of our pre-authorized payments on them (Cell bill! Utility bill! Etcetera bill!) and pay them off each month. The main reason for having said credit cards is to (build up our credit, and) rack up the AirMiles in order to redeem them for merchandise (ATV’s for the kids! (HOLY CRAP THE KIDLETS WERE WEE.) A Canon point and shoot to keep in my purse! A trip to Portland!) HOORAY FOR AIRMILES.

Except when your credit card is compromised three different times within six months. Calling all of those companies with whom we do pre-authorized payments is EXACTLY what I want to do in my “free” time. BLERGH.

2. I have read a lot about the whole American health care debate. My friend Loralee has written some posts on it (and was on the front page of the White House website) (Yes, really). As a Canadian looking in, I don’t understand why there is such a fight between “liberals” and “conservatives” when it comes to universal health care. In Canada, everyone is thankful for our health care system. Liberals, conservatives, ninjas. Everyone.

3. People telling you how to blog/Twitter/Facebook. What exactly makes you the expert? Because you’ve proclaimed yourself to be an expert? You have more “followers” than I do? (Sounds like a cult, but no)(At least not with me.) BULLY FOR YOU. And no, I don’t read you on a regular basis. My friends just link to you when you post something stupid like, “How to Twitter” (GOOD GRIEF) and then we all laugh at you. Because you’re an idiot. It’s TWITTER for frack’s sake. (Who is frack? I’ve no idea.)

4. There are two grocery stores in my small town and they carry all of our dietary needs. Between the two of them. Hauling three kids out of the van, into one store, then back into the van, then back out of the van and then into THE SECOND STORE is a little bit ridiculous. One of them carries my favorite chips, ground flaxseed for a family recipe and the Crystal Light flavor that I like. The other one carries excellent produce and has better prices. I CAN’T WIN.

5. The packaging on kids’ toys. Nathan had a birthday this week (Remember?) and received some toys that were packaged like only the big toy companies know how to do. Twist ties, elastic bands and plastic with the properties of steel. I darn near had to break out Matthew’s reciprocating saw to help me set his presents free. I also may have donned some safety goggles to help me in my endeavor. There may or may not have been a cloud of nasty words floating about my head while I went to work.

6. People who comment to me that they don’t understand how I have time to blog (Hate that word, by the way). You do what you love, people. Some people like to watch hours upon hours of TV or fill out every “What type of (fill in the blank) you are on Facebook. I like to read and write, both online and off. Knock it off with the comments already. Or I will smite you (If I only had that ability).

7. Skinny jeans. They’re as bad as the fold n’ roll. If not worse.

8. “Captcha” when leaving comments on posts. Trying to decipher squished together letters that might be sfhzajkfhjkAHFskdjh makes me not want to comment. On that note, partial feeds are also of the debbil. Reading ten words doesn’t make me want to click through to see what you have to say, unless you are a close personal friend. To quote the blogger formerly known as Schnozz, “WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PARTIAL FEED.”

(I might just make that into a t-shirt for BlogHer 2010.)

9. Automatic faucets. My husband is able to abstain from releasing his bodily fluids in any place but our home (and a random gas station in Faulkland). I, however, often find myself in the bathroom at Wal*Mart with the kids, telling the boys to LIFT UP THE SEAT ALREADY (And FLUSH ALREADY)(“When it’s yellow, let it mellow” only flies at home.) When all of the nasty has been dealt with, I find myself helping the kids wash their hands. Which requires water. Which may or may not involve me waving my hands crazily in front of the sensor and possibly doing a rain dance. I don’t know what it is but I cannot get those blasted faucets to work consistently.

10. People who tailgate you when you are driving in the slow lane. DUDE. I am in the SLOW LANE. And have set cruise control to be at the SPEED LIMIT. Tailgating me tempts me to do the heavy break, but that’s not safe with the kids in the van. Instead, I will speed up enough so that I am driving right next to the person in the “fast” lane. Which means that you are boxed in and couldn’t pass me if you tried. I am awesome like that.

So. It’s been awhile since I blatantly asked you guys to chime in (Sorry). Anything that you want to rant about?

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  1. Hannah August 27, 2009 2:56 am edit

    I love it when you rant. Mostly because you do it so well, and with correct punctuation and grammer (I have found that very often, a blog rant appears to be an excuse to leave out all capital letters, full stops and basic sentence structure. I guess for some people that’s all part of having a rant, but I hate reading posts like that. It hurts my brain.)

    Oh, and I didn’t know there was a right way to Facebook, but no doubt I’m doing it all wrong. Same with the blogging thing; I know I’m doing that wrong, too. Don’t give a flying flip.

    Today has been the day from he!! here but I will refrain from stealing your thunder by explaining why. Let’s just say I wish I’d stayed in bed today.

    Hannah’s last blog post..Twenty-one

  2. Hannah August 27, 2009 2:56 am edit

    Okay, I meant “grammar” not “grammer”. GRR.

    Hannah’s last blog post..Twenty-one

  3. Julienne August 27, 2009 4:40 am edit

    I don’t know why people can’t follow instructions. If there is a piece of paper in front of your face that says, “DO NOT…” – why do you go ahead and do it anyway? Do you think that maybe just this once it might be okay? Guess what, it’s not!

    (I know that might not make any sense, but it’s about work and I don’t want to get into it any more than that!) :)

    Julienne’s last blog post..Dreaming of rainbows.

  4. ali August 27, 2009 6:55 am edit

    I am always up for a good rant!
    DO NOT get me started on automatic faucets…I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to turn them the hell on.
    also? toy packaging. like getting into fort knox. GRRR.

    ali’s last blog post..The Return of the Tits (List). AKA What I am Loving Rightthisverysecond

  5. kakaty August 27, 2009 7:03 am edit

    While I get #3, when it comes to Twitter if you constantly do something stupid (like….tweet about your new blog post 5 times in under 3 min. Then 3 more times 15 min later. Then 5 more times the next morning. Can you tell I just delt with this?) I will unfollow you and most likely tweet about why I unfollowed. I’m not telling anyone “how to” do anything, just pointing out annoying behavior.

    And for my personal rant – I just don’t understand how parents at daycare can pull up in front of the door and go in to get their kids. They they had any kind of respect for other parents they would pull all the way up to the front of the pick-up area and not hog the entire row. When done right, about 8 cars can fit in the pick up area, but when some douche thinks they are the only one on the planet only about 4 cars fit. And then most of us have to park way over in the other parking lot and juggle a toddler and all their junk/”art” on the trek back to the car. People who leave half a car space in front of them are just as bad. For the love of all things holy, pull your car the eff up already!!!

    kakaty’s last blog post..Restaurant Week Review, Part 2

  6. angella August 27, 2009 12:32 pm edit

    I totally hear you on that aspect of Twitter. Completely annoying. I’m too chicken to unfollow, but that’s where taking someone out of Tweetdeck works like a charm ;)

  7. Sharon August 27, 2009 7:20 am edit

    Excellent rant! I agree with pretty much all of your points.

    Going along with your driving one, I HATE it when some douchey person passes you on a one way road, and they pass you on the only passing place possible. Then they proceed to go BELOW the speed limit for the rest of the time you’re behind them. SO annoying. Why on earth did you just pass me if you’re not planning to go the speed limit?! GAH.

    Sharon’s last blog post..Tuesday Tidbits

  8. C @ Kid Things August 27, 2009 7:23 am edit

    Your rants would be a lot like my rants. Aside from #1, anyway, because nobody trusts me with credit cards anymore. With good reason, unfortunately.

    C @ Kid Things’s last blog post..H1N1

  9. Sizzle August 27, 2009 7:39 am edit

    I would so wear that partial feed shirt. SINCERELY!

    I have a similar beef with Trader Joe’s because I can get almost everything there but then have to go to another store for stuff like pudding (yes! a necessity!) and cat litter.

    You have me seriously considering that credit card tactic to rack up air miles. Hmmm.

    Sizzle’s last blog post..X Marks the Spot

  10. angella August 27, 2009 12:33 pm edit

    We’ve been doing it for about eight years or so. It’s stuff we’d be paying for anyway, and then we get rewarded for it…

  11. Kristabella August 27, 2009 7:48 am edit

    Ugh! I hate automatic faucets! But mostly only in the airport, since I can never get them to work! And then I end up saying, out loud, in a crowded bathroom full of strangers, “Am I invisible?”

    That doesn’t make you seem less crazy than flailing your arms about.

    Kristabella’s last blog post..Sweet Dreams

  12. angella August 27, 2009 12:35 pm edit

    OK. I already emailed you, but that visual slayed me. I plan on throwing out that line the next time it happens, if only to amuse myself.

  13. Amanda August 27, 2009 7:53 am edit

    There is nothing wrong with a good rant, and two months, man that’s holding it in pretty good. :D

    Rants nine and ten both had me yelling “me too” to my computer. The abuse this thing puts up with.

    People are telling _you_ how to write?! I love it.

    Amanda’s last blog post..Hello My Name Is Amanda And I Am Addicted To Books.

  14. Ashley August 27, 2009 8:06 am edit

    Gosh it sounds like my mom taught you how to drive too! That was actually in my driving “lessons”, except that I wasn’t supposed to do it with the driving instructor in the car, to quote my Mom, “When they’re on the job they have to pretend they think that’s bad.”

    Ashley’s last blog post..Anger Management 101

  15. Mama in the City August 27, 2009 8:09 am edit

    Oh hehe. The rant made me smile a little bit. I read it like you were holding your breath as you wrote out each word. I also hate how people question your time for writing posts. I gave up watching ALL TV during the day time hours to write. I am also curious about people telling you how to blog and twitter. What is this about and what did they have to say on the topic?

    Mama in the City’s last blog post..My Stroller Doesn’t Have An Airbag

  16. angella August 27, 2009 12:37 pm edit

    Some people are trying to be helpful, and that’s cool. It’s people who claim to be “gurus” and tell you what to do and what not to do who drive me nuts.

  17. Amanda Brown August 27, 2009 8:12 am edit

    How about kids who get sick the moment company arrives? Yeah, Avelyn’s got the strep/barf/fever thing going on again. You know, since it’s been a whopping 2 weeks since her last bout. Oh, and Karenna woke up wailing at 2 am. That was nice.
    So my rants are: kids. They are killing me!

    Amanda Brown’s last blog post..Forgotten Summer

  18. She Likes Purple August 27, 2009 8:15 am edit

    I like when you rant! It’s hilarious (and so, so true).

    I hate people who zoom up to the front of a merge lane to get ahead of like 9 kajillion cars. MERGE CORRECTLY YOU ASS.

    I swear, 90% of my grievances are with drivers.

    She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Who will it be?

  19. angella August 27, 2009 12:39 pm edit

    Ooooooooh…I hate that too! Our highway has been under construction for (what feels like) forever. There’s a place where we have to merge from two lanes down to one and there are always those jerks who zoom to the front.

    You better believe that when I’m at the front, I don’t let them in.

  20. Jen August 27, 2009 8:17 am edit

    That cruise control one drives me INSANE as well. I live in the land of divided highways (WHICH I LOVE) and usually drive 10km/h over the speed limit AND STILL GET TAIL GATED. Stupid. Also? Those presents? I HATE THEM. I also hate captchas and American healthcare. It makes me sick to hear what my American friends have to deal with. I hope their government can come up with AND AGREE ON something that will fix it.

    Jen’s last blog post..confession

  21. Vicki August 27, 2009 8:20 am edit

    Hey, I know! Let’s get together on the highway and box in all the morons who tailgate. Man, that makes me mad. Almost as mad as people unsafely passing on the way to Peachland only to get one car ahead in a row of thirty. Geniuses.

    Vicki’s last blog post..Megan. She’s 9

  22. Jane August 27, 2009 8:35 am edit

    So many rants, so little time. People who think that labeling other people “teabagging birthers” will somehow convince those people to join the cause they espouse. Car salesmen who feel the need to comment on my sex life when I ask for a vehicle to seat my family of eight. Yes, you lost a sale. And I am going to tell everyone I know to avoid Tim at the Bemidji Chrysler Center.

  23. angella August 27, 2009 12:43 pm edit

    Tim is, from what I can tell, a First Class Douchebag. Good for you for walking out.

  24. Kami's Khlopchyk August 27, 2009 8:44 am edit

    Agreed. On every single one of them! I love your rants because you tell it like it is.

    I have a horrid cold and mentioned it to my cousin who promptly chimed in she hasn’t had a cold in years. Bully for you. Yes, THAT cousin, remember the rant about that?

    Kami’s Khlopchyk’s last blog post..My Roots

  25. angella August 27, 2009 12:46 pm edit

    I do. I have a flaming bag of poo handy (The one perk of having a dog); where should I send it?

  26. Lisa August 27, 2009 8:52 am edit

    Rant #1: Not having the first comment go through due to computer error or the second ue to Lisa error.

    Rant #2: Cooking supper for the family, having to leave for several hours and coming home to all of the food still on the stove. Had to throw it out. ugh

    Rant #3: Why is it so difficult to make sure the trash gets INSIDE the receptacle?

    Rant #4: The state of health care in the US is not as bad as it is made out to be, but the MO is to create a crisis so that the public will be more accepting of change. In this case, the change will change our way of life here…and give the government more control over us. That is why many are opposed to this health insurance thing.

  27. Holly August 27, 2009 9:22 am edit

    Okay I am SO WITH YOU on a couple of those things:
    1 — the grocery debacle. God why can’t one store meet all of my needs. I have two stores right by my house and grocery shopping ALWAYS requires two trips. Sooooo annoying.

    2 — At my job, there are two bathroom sinks with automatic faucets. One faucet will never turn on, but the soap dispenser attached to it works. On the other sink, the faucet turns on but the soap dispenser NEVER works. I makes me crazy daily.

    This post just made me laugh out loud! Ranting feels fantastic!

    Holly’s last blog post..Just Like Sorority Recruitment But With More Spandex

  28. hillary August 27, 2009 9:26 am edit

    Two months between rants? I’m impressed!!

    I can never get automatic faucets to work either. More horrifying though, is that I can’t get automatic toilets to flush. Either that or I shift the slightest bit mid-pee and the toilet flushes while I’m still sitting down. It causes me much angst.

    Someone explained ‘frack’ to me once. Apparently it is the swearing of the future. It might be a Battlestar Galactica thing. I am unclear (but I say it all the time.)

    For my own rant, I would like blow off some steam about my misogynistic boss, my rotten puppies who ATE a corner of my bedroom carpet, and my clueless little sister who I am being forced to be nice to because it is her birthday in a week.

    hillary’s last blog post..It’s The Ride We Take The Many Winged Escape It’s The Bough We Break To Blow Away

  29. angella August 27, 2009 12:52 pm edit

    OH MY GOODNESS. The flush mid-pee! That’s happened to me and I’ve been all, “I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS A BIDET.”

  30. Procrastamom August 27, 2009 9:57 am edit

    We just drove home from the Okanagan yesterday, so I’m seriously hoping it wasn’t my husband who was responsible for tailgating you in this situation. He is a jackass sometimes, and I’m sorry. In that vein, I would like to rant about the tiny, little, tin-can Focus we drove on the Koke yesterday. I thought for sure we were going to die a grisly death racing at 130km/h down those hills, squashed between an 18 wheeler and a motorhome. We will be buying a truck or SUV before I ever do that again.

    And I’m with you on the partial feeds. CANNOT STAND THEM and there are very few people I will tolerate them from. In fact, I think I only have one person’s blog left in my reader that publishes a partial feed.

  31. Janssen August 27, 2009 10:39 am edit

    Don’t you kind of love it when people are all “oh, I’m starting a blog! I see everyone else doing it and I think ‘I can do that too.'” And then they can’t. Am I mean?

    Janssen’s last blog post..Radiant Darkness by Emily Whitman

  32. angella August 27, 2009 12:56 pm edit

    Mean? No. Bang on? Yes.

  33. Jennifer August 27, 2009 11:04 am edit
  34. Chris August 27, 2009 11:14 am edit

    Don’t even get me started on our healthcare deb(acle)ate!!! One of the most ridiculous things I have witnessed! And not exactly showing the best of what our country has to offer…

    But “How to Twitter”??? Really??? Some have too much time on their hands!

    Chris’s last blog post..A Sad Day for Our Country

  35. Domestic Extraordinaire August 27, 2009 1:44 pm edit

    Oh girl I so pink puffy heart you for saying #7, it just had to be said!

    Right now my biggest rant is the previous owners of our house. They did everything half way, not the right way. When I go to do a minor improvement it turns into a major one. I thought I would need a week max for my kitchen redo, well, it looks like it will be closer to 2. Bleh!

    Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..I haven’t been here….

  36. Hilda August 27, 2009 2:40 pm edit

    Okay I never really read other people’s comments to blog posts, but I got so into your rant mode that I had to read what everyone else is ranting about too!

    I am totally annoyed with those automatic flush toilets too…. let’s just say that I’m potty training my oldest and he now flat out refuses to sit on a toilet that it’s in any kind of grocery store, mall, gas station, etc. because one time it flushed while he was sitting on it. Way to scare the kids toilet!!

    Hilda’s last blog post..just some mending

  37. Danica August 27, 2009 2:41 pm edit

    I am a janitor. Don’t get ME started on automatic faucets. Especially when I am lo leave 21 of them in one building sparkling and DRY. Grrrrrr. And toilets. They’re always either the low flush kind that save water with poo streaked all over because there’s not enough water, or they’re automatic flush that flush every time you enter and exit the bathroom and negate the use of the low flush ones.
    Okay. I’m done now.

    Danica’s last blog post..Like Mother Like Daughters

  38. Jennifer Kirk August 27, 2009 4:42 pm edit

    hehehe, I hate skinny jeans too. Nothing like making my hips look wider than they are!

    My annoyance as of lately is when people write ‘opps’. It’s OOPS people! Not OPPS. Sound it out.

    And I love your rants, too funny!!

  39. Kerri Anne August 27, 2009 6:42 pm edit

    Oooh, I (finally!) have one.

    Blog pet peeve (which doubles as a topic on which I could happily rant): (fake) self-deprecating posts that all but beg you to compliment the post author on one skill or another that you’re 99% sure they don’t possess.

    (I so need to do this on my own site. A little bit o’ ranting goes a long way in helping me not punch someone in the ovaries.)

    Kerri Anne’s last blog post..Apropos Of Nothing

  40. Elaine August 27, 2009 8:08 pm edit

    Just a comment on #2. I don’t know how the lovely news media works in your country, but here in ours, they love to stir the pot. I blame MOST of this two-sided crap on them. Just so you know.

    As far as my current rant, well I’m sure it’s something you can relate to (in fact, I know it is…). People who say “I sure hope there’s a girl in there!” or “finally a girl!” I almost want to lie and say it’s another boy. I think I will next time.

    Elaine’s last blog post..On Family Resemblence

  41. Sherry August 27, 2009 9:09 pm edit

    To me partial feeds are like premature ejaculation. Now THERE is a t-shirt for you.

    I can’t rant much right now. I’m on “vacation” in Halifax. I put it in quotes because as a freelancer I’m still working but I can’t even rant about that because being in Halifax – the place in which I want to live – even makes working better.

    Sherry’s last blog post..East coast girl

  42. witchypoo August 28, 2009 8:53 am edit

    Help. I’m in Google, formerly Feedburner hell and cannot change my partial feed.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..AfterBill

  43. Loralee September 6, 2009 1:29 pm edit

    How did I miss this rant?

    Because I would LOVE to rant.

    Mainly about people that require me to have a blog account to comment on their blogs. It blows and I hate it.

    .-= Loralee´s last blog ..108 days =-.

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