Puppy Love

If you follow me on Twitter you know that we are getting a puppy (If you don’t follow me, why not? Am I not cool enough for you? Wait. Don’t answer that.)

I have a little history for those who did not know me before I started doing this whole “exposing myself on the Internet” thing. Um. By “exposing myself” I mean with WORDS. Ahem.

In the winter of 1999 Matthew and I got a puppy. We bought a Golden Retriever and named him Cody. We brought him over to my In-Laws and in the midst of their squeeing over the puppy-ness we told them that we were also growing a human baby.  That baby did not make it, but Cody remained. Cody curled with me on the couch while I worked through my grief. I can still remember the colour of his fur, the chocolate of his eyes, the smell of his nasty dog breath.

The problem with Cody was inherent to the nature of Golden Retrievers. They are smart, yet stupid. They are social creatures, almost to a fault.

Cody followed a neighbor one day while he took his own dogs on a walk. This idiot guy did not think to send Cody home but instead took him on a long jaunt down by the creek. After that first instance, Cody would follow anyone that walked past our property, especially if they had dogs. When Graham was a newborn I would get phone calls from neighbors who wanted to let me know that Cody was at their house, but they had given him a snack (AWESOME. WAY TO REWARD HIM FOR RUNNING AWAY.)

This is where I point out that we have THREE ACRES of land, which back onto Crown (Government) land. It is not as though Cody did not have space to run. We also took him on daily walks. However. Retrievers are a social breed. We live on a hill. Cody would see people and their dogs walk by and would bolt down the driveway to join the party.

We tried to remedy the situation. Matthew installed an “electric” fence. It is basically a wire in a ground that shocks the dog if they cross it. Lest you thing we are evil, we trained Cody. We showed him where the perimeter was. His collar also started to beep if he was near it. This worked for a number of months.

Then, one day, he was enticed by some fine looking Lady Retrievers. He jumped through the “fence.” He realized that after getting through the initial shock, he was FREE. All of our training had gone to pot. Our only option was to build a wood fence (and a gate) an three acres. SO NOT HAPPENING.

We were tired of chasing him, of getting calls from those in our neighborhood and from having our first baby. We went looking and found a couple that had a large (and fenced!) yard, who were avid outdoors-folks that wanted a dog to walk with. We handed him over with nary a tear as we knew he (and we) would be happier. We see him every once in awhile while in our small town and he is living the good life.

Now that we have the history, let’s move to the present.

My kids love dogs. LOVE dogs. When we go to pick up Graham from school, the three of them maul whatever canine is in the vicinity. They do this everywhere that we go. They see a dog and they go a little crazy.

Matthew has been telling me for the past six months or so that we should get a dog already. Based on our past experience, I know that puppies are like newborns. I am so DONE with the newborn stage that it isn’t even funny. I suggested that we adopt from a shelter.

He has been looking ever since and every single dog for adoption comes with the warning, “Not good with children.” Yeah. That’s a deal-breaker.

Then, last Monday while I was working, my husband emailed me. The title was, “Pretty Cute.” I opened the email, clicked on the link and MELTED INTO A PUDDLE OF GOO.

(The listing showed photos of the last batch of puppies when they were eight weeks old but the ad came down before I could swipe borrow them to share with everyone. They are a German Shepherd/Retriever cross. All black with brown paws.)

Within the hour we had sent a deposit and told the kids that WE WERE GETTING A PUPPY. Well, Matthew told them, but IT WAS STILL NEWS when I got home. We’re getting a  puppy! A BOY puppy!

He asked the kids what we should name the puppy and got the responses that you would fully expect from our three: Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and The Little Mermaid. Of course.

My only criteria for naming a dog (Apart from the name just being cool) is that you have to be able to walk down the road/through a park and be able to yell the name loudly without looking like an idiot. Based on that criteria the kids’ suggestions do not qualify; I have no desire to be out in public yelling, “Bumblebee!” People might think I was afraid of being stung or something.

That night after the kids were in bed Matthew and I had dueling laptops going on at the kitchen table. He Googled “top dog names” or something along those lines and came across a “Top 100″ list. Some of the names on the list had me laughing so hard that I had to Twitter them (Be warned; some are curse words). As for the curse words, I would think if you were walking through a park and yelling the same curse word over and over, people would probably think that you were angry. And possibly have some “issues.”

If you were to repeatedly yell, “Sammiches!” the folks at the park might be concerned about your mental stability. I know that I would be raising my eyebrows.

So here is where you guys come in.  Throw your best (male) dog names my way.

In exchange I will share the photos of the litter that we have been impatiently waiting for since last week (The family lives two hours from here).  BEHOLD THE CUTENESS.

One of those bundles of fur is MAH NEW BABY. He needs a name. Help?