One, Two, Three

You take one Mommy, complete with a back she somehow put out on Sunday. She also has a head cold.

Plus

Two preschool boys, also with head colds (complete with crusty boogs).

Add

One trip to Wal-Mart. The store that is mayhem to navigate alone, never mind with two bouncing bubbling boys.

What does that equal?

Something for me to post about.

I was originally going to venture to W dot with all three children. Honey, in all of his wisdom, looked at me and said ever-so-sweetly,

“ARE YOU CRAZY?”

Yes. Yes, I am. But common sense prevailed so I left Emily napping while Daddy worked in the office.

I must preface the trip to say that my boys aren’t bad boys. They don’t touch stuff and the generally listen to me. Especially when I pull out “The Look”. You know which look I’m referring to. The look that could melt glaciers if need be. It’s not a weapon that I use lightly, but I will use it when the situation calls for it.

The problem with those two is that they remind me of flies. They don’t walk in a straight line. They stay in my vicinity, but the whole time they are circling and weaving and NOT LOOKING OUT FOR OTHER PEOPLE. I’m surprised they don’t get crashed into more than they do.

On top of trying to keep them from being steamrolled, I decided that while I was there, I would buy a new wading pool since ours kicked it last week. It’s one of those circle pools made of hard plastic. Not the inflatable ones that might come in a nice compact box that actually FIT IN THE CART.

So. There I was, pushing the cart with one arm and balancing that monstrous pool on the other arm. It was doing wonders for my back. I couldn’t see the boys on the other side of the pool, but I could hear them…as well as the people putting on the brakes real fast and cursing under their breath.

Just as we got to the checkout, Nathan wanted to “help”. He tugged on the pool which promptly rolled off of my arm and careened toward the till. I managed to grab it before it took out a display. Phew.

Once we got to the van, I realized that I was going to have to fold the back row into the floor in order to get the blasted wonderful pool into the van. Good thing Emily wasn’t there or I would have had to strap her to the roof. There’s an airbag in the front passenger seat, but not on the roof.

Putting the seat in the floor meant I had to move the boys’ seats. Nothing makes me happier than moving a car seat, what with the seat belts and safety harnesses and what not. All that pulling and pushing and reefing on them make for such a good time! A good workout too.

Oh. And did I mention that we’re having a heat wave? No? Well, we are.

So. I got them in their seats and all buckled in. The pool was in the far back and I could even see out the back window. Awesome! It’s a good thing because shoulder checking is pretty painful right now.

As I started to back out, the kids reminded me that I had promised them fries from McDonalds. Which was back inside Wal-Mart. I pulled a smart one though. I told them I would hit the other one down the road and go through the drive-through. Melt down averted!

We got to the other McRaunchy’s at 12:12. Lunch hour. With a line-up a mile long. I put the van in park and sat there watching the storm clouds come rolling in around my head.

*Mumble, grumble, mumble, grumble*

As I was wallowing in my grumpiness, I heard the following from Graham in the back seat. (I had him sing it again and recorded it on my phone. We had time; the lineup took fifteen minutes to get through)

Classic.

Funk? Gone instantly.
Kids? Alive.
Mommy? Sharing this in the hopes it makes your day too.

Maybe next time I’ll kick it up a notch and bring all three.