I am an emotional creature.
(Go ahead and get your laughs out thanks to that obvious statement. I’ll wait.)
I am more sensitive than most people probably realize and get tears in my eyes on a regular basis. Newborn baby? Teary. Sappy commercial? Teary. GLEE last week? Teary. My wedding day? Teary. Someone loses somebody? Teary. My kids tell me that I’m the best Mom on the planet? Teary. Frustrated with something not working the way I planned? Teary.
You throw in the fact that I feel exhausted, oh, every day and you can see how I might be prone to get teary and/or cry on a daily basis. ON A DAILY BASIS.
I wear waterproof mascara, is what I’m saying.
People chide me for taking on too much and yes, I do that, but I’m also getting better at saying no. I decided not to join that online boot camp (for now) because I honestly couldn’t see when I could fit those workouts in. I’m already attending a boot camp two nights a week and I run a few days a week and want to continue doing so until this mild weather disappears and, well. The thought of adding it was stressing me out and so I’m holding off.
As for the rest, most of it is out of my control. I’m working forty hours a week (away from the house for fifty hours if you include lunch and my commute) and I have kids. While we don’t put our kids in five different activities a week (they’re actually not in any right now except for Emily’s ballet class), they still want play dates with their friends and to do things like celebrate their birthdays. Then there are the family commitments and church activities and basically we’re booked up from after school this Friday until after church on Sunday. Plus, I’m still trying to catch up on the late nights and early mornings from our weekend with the cousins. I’M TIRED. And also, TEARY.
I could give up the freelance stuff but it’s what I choose to do instead of watching reality TV (no offense to reality TV lovers) and should I have to cut out everything that I enjoy? Because then I’d just be left with the crazy responsibility and none of the fun.
So, yeah. I’ve been really frustrated lately with feeling so regimented and like I never get to stop. To just stop and possibly, breathe. Could you imagine? Feeling like you could actually breathe? I forget how that feels.
I’m starting to think that I just need to accept that this is how my life is going to be for the next fifteen years or so. We have three kids, which is insane in and of its own right, and we’re trying to balance work and everything else while keeping a tight grasp on the few hobbies that we each enjoy. Oh, and you know, spend time as a husband and wife.
This means that I’m also going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be tired and stretched emotionally and be on the verge of tears some (most) days. It’s who I am and people love me despite of (or because of) that fact. I guess it’s better than being on the other end of the spectrum and never showing emotion. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
(Ed. note: I feel like I should add that I also laugh easily and often. So, basically, my emotions run all over the map. It can be a wild ride sometimes – just ask my husband.)
I wear waterproof mascara too, for the same reason. Don’t even get me started on newborn babies. My Husband thought I was crazy when I told him I cry if I see a newborn. Of course this only started after I had my Son. I also tear up for the same reasons you do. I think it’s better to be emotional then be like a zombie and have no emotion at all. I’ve known a few people like that, not cool.
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I get very emotional over all sorts of things too, and I get teased for it a lot (good-natured teasing from my husband, not mean mocking). But like you I would rather be that way than just never feel – or show that I feel – anything ever.
Let’s just say that watching the whole miner rescue meant there wasn’t enough tissue in this place to keep up with my crying.
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Thankful =-.
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Keep the fun! Keep doing some of the things you love.
I’ve been teary the last few days too, because I’m frustrated with my job situation. I was feeling lucky last night that I work alone though, because I am free to cry my eyes out while I work!
Hugs. Hang in there. You’re doing great. It won’t always be this crazy.
.-= Danica´s last blog ..Aching Urge =-.
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I’m with you on the crying easily. Just this morning, a show was on TV called something like ‘Surviving Death’. People who were basically medically dead for 15+ minutes and then were revived. This one guy had to do CPR on his wife and they were playing the 911 tape and his hysterical voice made me tear up and reach out for Matt’s hand. Commercials make a lump form in my throat and last night at church group, a girl gave a testimony of her health struggles and how God pulled her through, and I had tears streaming. I think it makes us feel alive – to be able to freely cry, and FEEL. At least you know you are not alone in this!
xoxo
.-= Laura Radniecki´s last blog ..Think Pink =-.
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I agree that crying makes us feel alive! I to must wear waterproof mascarea! I have learned over this year some tough life lessons that have actually helped decrease the tears of frustration.. which is nice.. but the tears over.. well.. EVERYTHING else remain. My boss, husband, family, and friends now always have a box of tissue handy.. because they know I will most likely use it!
Thanks for sharing!
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Before I read the last sentence, that’s what I was going to tell you. Being on the other end? Not being able to shed a tear? It’s not so great either. But, add pregnancy hormones to the mix and … I’ve started wearing no mascara at all because there is JUST NO POINT.
Hope you find something today to make you smile or laugh.
.-= Mrs. Wilson´s last blog ..don’t stand =-.
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I’m a crier too. I tell myself that it’s better than being an emotional robot but sometimes I’m not so sure. Being an emotional robot seems easier somehow.
I hope the exhaustion passes. Being bone-tired is no fun.
Hugs, lady. xo
.-= hillary´s last blog ..When Im Really Getting Old At Twenty-Eight Or Nine =-.
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Showing emotion over showing none gets my vote.
I feel like this sometimes- and I don’t even have kids! Having cut my hours back and putting self-care at the top of the list, I feel a bit more balanced. But damn it’s a struggle for that balance.
.-= Sizzle´s last blog ..Zzzz is for Zombie =-.
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I was just thinking last night that when the boys were little I thought life would be less busy when they got older. Boy was I out to lunch.
Take care and I think you are right on the money, you can’t remove all that is fun and brings joy. Smile through the tears
xoxoxo
.-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..Photography is for Professionals =-.
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Oh and I really love the photo!
.-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..Photography is for Professionals =-.
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I never used to be a crier. Then I went to see “When A Man Loves A Woman” in the theatre in high school and I couldn’t stop crying. Now I cry all the time. Most times I don’t care, but when I’m at work and get frustrated, etc., I wish I could turn those tears off.
.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Rant On- Rant Off =-.
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I’m not a crier, but I completely understand the feeling of lack of freedom in a structured life. I’m away from home 37.5 hour a week (I’m lucky to live about 1 mile from work and get to go home to see my baby, who stays with my mom, during my 30 minute lunch break — plus I have some flexibility on how long I ACTUALLY take for my lunch break). I get off work at 4:00 each day, head home to pick up my 1 and 6 years old from my mom’s (she picks him up after school). Anyway, as you can see, I have a lot of great things going on — early time off work, see baby during day, mom keeping/picking up kids — and yet I STILL feel like we are STUCK in a routine that doesn’t allow for much besides the normal schedule. With sports practice (luckily only 1 at a time (football now – basketball coming up soon), homework (though short), bedtime (UGH!), husband going to work at 6:00am means very early bedtime for him, getting dinner on the table (which I’m not organized about), etc. – it feels like we go through the same thing every day — and have no ME time (much less US time with husband). I’m consciously trying to remember that we have a great life and that I just need to slow down and ENJOY the moments.
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I think crying can be really therapeutic. I don’t like the idea of bottling things up and not expressing emotions. So I don’t think you should apologise for crying often (not that you DID apologise, but in case you feel like you shouldn’t be that way. A lot of us girls are wired the same). You NEED to keep the fun and enjoyable activities in your life. Yes, it makes life busier, but also, more fun! I’m sure there are plenty of moments that make it feel worthwhile, as well as the moments where it feels like TOO MUCH WORK. But hang in there, because I think we can all totally relate!!
From another BUSY mum who cries easily and has little time to breathe xx
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..More photos! =-.
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I have found that I feel so much better after a good cry than getting all upset and angry and trying to hold it all in. Being a mom we are stretched to our limit no matter how much or how little is on our plates (I am not trying to say that you don’t have too much going on…trust me!!) I am finding that I am crying more as I let go of the anger of things out of my control. I am not a pretty crier and I have learned that I need to wear waterproof mascara!
((hugs))
.-= Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..I think my children are trying to kill me =-.
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I cried last night when my Ducks beat your Canucks, but that was a different kind of cry.
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This is actually, entirely how I’m feeling today… and the genius of it is, I’m still awake and working away at work while my clock ticks past 11:42pm. I’m hoping I don’t see a 2 starting the clock off tonight!
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..One Crazy Weekend Oh & Happy Thanksgiving =-.
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Breathe? What is this thing you call ‘breathe’?
Seriously, I completely understand what you mean. I only have 2 kids, and despite limiting them to only 2 activities each (one of which — swimming class — they do simultaneously), I still feel like I’m rushing around the city everyday! Hang in there, my dear. Glad to know you’re finding time to do things you enjoy and to laugh. Balance — whatever that is! — is key.
.-= Nenette´s last blog ..3rd blogoversary extravaganza and a present for one of you =-.
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I’m a super emotional person, and over the years I have learned to really love and embrace that about myself. I feel deeply, and will always, and yeah, the second episode of this season’s House made me ugly cry last night.
I also find that my emotions are magnified to the billionth degree if ever I’m missing even a couple hours of sleep. (What do you mean this Post-It is orange and not green? No. No, I just have something in my eye…)
All of that to say: I love you, and hang in there, and you are doing amazing, really.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Good Things- Currently Stuck In My Head Edition =-.
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