If, perchance, my life were to be portrayed in a comic book and I were to be some sort of superhero I think that my alter ego would be something akin to Peter Parker when he was just realizing his gifts. Knowledge is one thing; execution is another. As you’re trying to come into who you are there are slip-ups and failures and casualties along the wayside. This stems from the fact that you’re incredibly awkward.
In the midst of finding your footing you are besieged with attacks from someone who has proclaimed themselves to be your arch nemesis. They know your weaknesses and will exploit them in order to knock you down and keep you from being who you are meant to be. While you may think you share a bond with Spidey, they cast you in the light of Superman and have singled out your Kryptonite. Every time you think that you are making strides towards reaching your true potential your opponent pulls her card and you are once again sideswiped by her sheer force.
Why is my arch nemesis a she? Because I know her all too well. She is feisty and fiery and has a quick wit. She could easily build you up with the words in her arsenal but chooses instead to take a few choice words at her disposal in order to cut you down to size. She would rather tear you down than build you up. She would be happier if you stayed at mediocre instead of aiming for awesome. She feeds on your insecurities and parades them in front of you in order to remind you that you will never be what you desire to be.
She is the exact opposite of me.
She is me.
I know in my head the strengths and abilities that I have been given. For the most part, I run with them. But there are those other things. The things for which I am not professionally trained. The things that I love and are a part of me but are so opposite of what I have been wired to be that I am left vulnerable while standing in front of my biggest foe.
She has figured out that self-doubt is my Kryptonite. She tells me that I can’t do it. That there are others who can do it far better than I can. That it is not who I truly am. That I should just stick to what I know and leave everything else to others. Unfortunately for her, her tactics do not have the hold they once did.
I have always had the support of my husband and friends and have often relied a little too heavily on it. While the cushion of their love is an essential part of my journey, they are limited in what they can do. They can encourage me, challenge me and spurn me on…but they cannot do it for me. I’ve grown tired of being disappointed in myself and have been taking strides to reach the goals that I’ve lain out for myself, both personally and professionally.
The first step was sitting down and writing it all out (In a list, of course). Many people have jumped on the “Life List” bandwagon, and while I think it’s a neat idea, it’s just not something that struck me as something that I needed to do. Then, when I was visiting Kerri in Portland, she posted a list that was just for 2010, titled A Year Complete.
I was inspired and sat down that very day to write my own list for 2010. I’ve debated sharing it since then, as some items do not need to be shared on the Internet (Gasp!). However. As I sat here writing this post it seemed only fitting that I share what I could in order to illustrate that I am, in fact, setting goals and I am, in fact, making strides toward reaching them. The List:
***
When the weather warms up I want to incorporate bicycling into my workout routine – at least once every two weeks.
Try a spinning class, and live to tell about it.
Read at least one book a month.
Send more hand written cards and notes – for birthdays, anniversaries and for no reason whatsoever.
Do regular Photoshop/Lightroom tutorials if after I survive tax season.
Blow the dust off of the guitar I’ve owned for ten years, take a few lessons and decide if I want to continue or let the dream die. (I’ve talked to my Matthew’s brother (Music pastor and band member) to give me lessons after tax season.)
Bake a pie for the first time.
Spend a night at a nice hotel with just Matthew.
Revamp and revitalize my photography site.
Try a new recipe at least once every two weeks. (I used to always do this but have not done so in far too long. Suggestions welcome.)
Learn how to knit.
Travel to Portland for a Weekend of Awesome.
Fly to Southern California for Desperate Bloggers 2.0.
Spend the first week of August in NEW YORK. Take hundreds of photos and hug dozens of friends.
Spend a weekend at Cannon Beach as part of our annual fall trip to the States.
Take the kids on their very first airplane ride for a family trip to someplace warm.
Laugh more, live louder, love deeper.
***
I also sit down at least once a week to lay out the baby steps to complete these and other tasks because it’s the only way that I’m going to get to where I want to go.
I’ve said it before but it bears repeating here: 2010 is going to be the year of inherent radness.
I’m sure 2010 is going to be an amazing year for you!! xx
[Reply]
What a great list! It’s so awesome that you’ve already crossed some things off too; you have a great start.
I, for one, am THRILLED about the Photoshop/Lightroom tips to come! Happy day for me!
[Reply]
YAY Lists! Looks like 2010 is going to be a great for you.
[Reply]
Good post Angella. Your nemesis sounds a lot like mine. Weird.
Good list, although I found it highly ambitious. And then I thought of who wrote it, and I’m confident you will do all of that and more! I also like that you put a few on there that you’ve already accomplished.
And I vote an emphasis on the Lightroom tutorials over Photoshop. There’s a lot out there already for Photoshoppers. (And I have Lightroom but don’t really use it beyond the basic tweaks – when I have a working camera that is – so that’s a selfish request.)
Have a good day!
.-= Danica Grunert´s last blog ..Two Days =-.
[Reply]
I’ve got to do something like that. When your life SUCKS, you only look at that day and getting through it so that you can get back into your bed.
Life sucks, and then you die. It’s my new motto.
[Reply]
ps. your list is pretty awesome. good luck with the RAD!
[Reply]
YES. Yes, yes, yes.
The best part about having an arch nemesis? Beating her.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Noteworthy =-.
[Reply]
Your arch nemesis sounds a lot like my arch nemesis. I hope that your list of awesomeness helps you defeat her.
.-= hillary´s last blog ..People Pushing Through Their Mittens As I Was Beginning To Feel It Soaking Through My Shoes =-.
[Reply]
Great post!
With regards to the spinning thing, I just took it up after resisting for years and it’s totally do-able (and I started after a prolonged period of virutally no fitness, so it’s not like I’m in wicked shape or anything.) Don’t be afraid! It’s a great workout and you can always take the resistance off if you’re struggling.
[Reply]
I took spin classes for about four months right before I got married (now five years, GAH!), and I LOVED IT! The first three classes were killer, and I almost puked a few times, but then I reached this magical spin threshold, and suddenly, I was hooked. I went five days a week (I may have been a wee bit obsessed), and consequently, lost about 20 pounds without doing anything else. I’d love to get back into it, if I can find a spin studio (rather than a gym). I wholeheartedly recommend trying it as soon as you can!
[Reply]
I do hope this year is the year of complete and udder radness. where we have to scrape the smiles off of our faces and have toned bellies from all the laughter.
wait…. you already have a mighty fine toned stomach.
.-= gorillabuns´s last blog ..come on down! =-.
[Reply]
Love your writing in this post. That’s a fabulous list. Looks like you’re already getting a great start! Yay for 2010!!
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..You Capture – Shapes =-.
[Reply]
I fully approve of this list. Rock it!
.-= Sizzle´s last blog ..Recapsulation =-.
[Reply]
Isn’t it funny that our worst enemy is the one always staring us in the mirror every morning. She knows exactly where to stab you in the heart so that you survive but are left clentching your chest and wondering what the heck just happened.
You have an excellent list, Jeremy & I just talked about what my goals were for this year and I am staring a list so I can know exactly what I want to do (aka am up against)
.-= Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Joy through their Eyes Part II =-.
[Reply]
Great list! One of my very best girlfriends teaches spinning and has been bugging me about taking one of her classes. I AM TOO SCARED.
[Reply]
At least 2010 is not a leap year. I can’t believe it’s almost March already…anyone remember the “new” year 2000? A whole new decade, century, millennia, age, etc. turns out to be just a year. The time-o-meter is nothing more than a clock.
I hate it when I get into fights, feuds or flame wars with a few idiots on the internet. You should post in current events forums, where a good discussion arena about politics, religion or controversy is sure gonna set a few flames. I mean, a few far-lefties/righties/out of the mainstream opinions all over.+
[Reply]
Love reading your posts! I completely GET this one and think that crossing a few things off your list already is pretty fabulous! Hope to hear about the rest as they all get checked off!
Rebecca
[Reply]
2010 is going to be awesome for you, I can feel it!
No visit to SK on your list though
(kidding, of course but my list totally includes a family trip to BC – maybe not in 2010 though!)
.-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..Awesome Abs =-.
[Reply]
I love your list…because it is attainable. I think I may have to do one of them myself: Try a new recipe at least once every two weeks. (I used to always do this but have not done so in far too long. Suggestions welcome.)
To help you out…here’s a very easy dessert one to try (if you like pumpkin): http://www.myramblings.ca/?p=171 – Pumpkin Dump Cake
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Proud Canadian – Despite My Governments Best Efforts =-.
[Reply]
At least you have the benefit of your arch-nemesis being a Canadian, which means she’ll apologize every time she tries to take you down a notch.
(And okay, seriously — if you’re looking to start doing some serious cycling and want an international bike training buddy, I could use the motivation to get back in the saddle, and we could do weekly mileage (or kilometerage, as your people reckon distances) check-ins, or something to that effect.)
[Reply]