I remember when Matthew and I were first married, I would often sit back, look at him, and take in the whole situation.


Those feelings still pop up every once in a while.  We are busy beyond all reason, but when I just stop and think every few months or so, I have those same thoughts.



The same thing happens with the kids.

Take Tuesday, for instance.  Graham had his second-last day of Kindergarten.  I fired Emily and Nathan into the (Fixed!) minivan and we picked Graham up from school.  We all piled back into the van and headed to the grocery store.

Graham was recounting tales of gym class! And crafts! And grade five (GRADE FIVE!) girls that he thinks are “cute”.

Nathan and Emily were making farting noises with their mouths and busting a gut.  They are classy like that.

I was hit with that similar wave of conciousness.

I am a MOM.  I have THREE KIDS.


I mean, I KNOW how I got here (HELLO, Pregnancy horribleness, fourth degree tear, and RING OF FIRE) but it still seems surreal somehow.  Maybe I need a two-by-four to my head to wake me up.

It is not that I regret having kids (AT ALL), but I still feel like a fifteen-year-old inside sometimes, which means that I SHOULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

But I am not fifteen. And I do have children.  Three of the most beautiful children on the planet (This is where I insert photos of said beautiful children, while trying to be all smooth about it).

G Force.

G Force

Nate Dawg.


(Daddy may or may not have been mooning him while I was taking this shot.)

Miss Emily.

Miss Emily







And her eyes.

Maybe I am alone in these ” WHEN DID I BECOME A WIFE?” and “HOLY CRAP I AM A MOM” feelings.  However.  I have a feeling that I might not be alone.

Am I right?

I do find it humorous that I am so adept at realizing the completely obvious.  Next thing you know I’ll realize that I am a woman.  Who walks, and talks, and breathes.  I am brilliant, I tell ya.

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  1. Michele June 25, 2008 12:45 am edit

    Girls in grade five? Wow – He likes the cougars! Your three kids are adorable!

  2. K June 25, 2008 4:48 am edit

    I am not a wife or a mom yet but I imagine when it happens I will have those thoughts. Currently I just have a dog and a boyfriend and I sometimes wonder how I got here… :)

    K’s last blog post..Birthday Fun

  3. Jen June 25, 2008 6:25 am edit

    You are not alone. I have those feeling and thoughts often. They occur most often when I’m looking at the girls playing together and then I think “Whoa. Those two cute girls laughing and playing together? I’m there Momma!”

    But more often, I have those feelings about Jordan. Every single ounce of my 14 year old body hoped and prayed and wished that I would marry Jordan one day. Now sometimes I look at him and see a glimpse of that 15 year old boy I fell in love with and think “HOLY CRAP! It happened.”

    Longest comment ever.

  4. Leah June 25, 2008 7:14 am edit

    I’m so glad you wrote that. I think things like that all the time and I thought I must be the only one. It is just surreal to think I’m a wife and mother.

  5. Mel June 25, 2008 7:36 am edit

    I get those feelings from time to time too. I watch the kids and think “HOLY CRAP! Whoda thunk all them years ago that I, of all people, would be a MOM and a WIFE??” Its funny how we grow up and don’t remember it happening. LOL!!!

    Mel’s last blog post..More Pictures From Coombs

  6. Elizabeth June 25, 2008 8:30 am edit

    Not alone. When I realize it, it scares the bejeebers out of me.

    Elizabeth’s last blog post..Love LIFE

  7. Sharon June 25, 2008 8:32 am edit

    I’m not married and don’t have kids, but I do have those feelings about other things.

    Sometimes I feel more like I’m 17, and wonder how on earth I got to where I am right now. It’s kinda cool, but it can freak me out at times.

    You’re definitely not alone!

    Sharon’s last blog post..Zoo Pictures, Part 2

  8. hills June 25, 2008 8:35 am edit

    Ha – we call my brother Nate Dawg too :)

    Emily’s eyes? Kill me! She is going to be such a heart breaker when she’s older.

    hills’s last blog post..And I’m So Tense, Never Tenser Could All Go A Bit Frank Spencer

  9. Jenn June 25, 2008 8:50 am edit

    I often go through the same thing with my house. Oh my god, I own this house. I don’t life with my parents, this big huge space is mine. It is so strange.


    Jenn’s last blog post..Cool New Things

  10. Jen June 25, 2008 9:20 am edit

    You’re not the only one who’s insane. I get that ALL THE TIME. Before I met Noah, I spent my time drinking, doing drugs, and I HAD A CHILD. He was the son of a pastor and he was a straight-edge Bible School student. Huh. Match made in heaven, right?

    … I’m waiting for the “I’m a woman” post from you!

    Jen’s last blog post..17

  11. Heidi F June 25, 2008 9:52 am edit

    I have grown kids, and still look at them sometimes and think, “How could I possibly be their mother?” Freaky!

  12. ali June 25, 2008 10:23 am edit

    i totally still think i’m a teenager. not the mother of three. and a wife of TEN years!

  13. Don Mills Diva June 25, 2008 10:59 am edit

    You are SO not alone. I can’t believe I am a mother – that this perfect being was created by ME! Impossible!

    Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..My true companion

  14. Heidi June 25, 2008 11:54 am edit

    SO TRUE! Am a thirty year old mom of two boys (3 &1) and sometimes have no idea how I got here either….it was weird enough just typing that sentence :) I was driving our fifteen year old babysitter home the other day, trying to make conversation when all of a sudden I realized I was THE MOM. How in the world? I can still remember being driven home by the parents of the kids I babysat for…and I thought they were old….and they were probably my age now! Well…I guess we are just as young as we feel…at least in our heads!

  15. gorillabuns June 25, 2008 12:10 pm edit

    I feel younger and am totally freaking out about turning 40 soon. I’m not ready. I have to young and crazy a little bit longer.

  16. Lane June 25, 2008 12:31 pm edit

    I totally agree with what you are saying. Sometimes I look at this big ol’ belly and think to myself…how is this possible? I guess these “awww” moments are God’s way of helping us cherish the current memory. Great post, and pictures!

    Lane’s last blog post..I HAVE MOVED!

  17. Lane June 25, 2008 12:32 pm edit

    I totally agree with what you are saying. Sometimes I look at this big ol’ belly and think to myself…how is this possible? I guess these “awww” moments are God’s way of helping us cherish the current memory. Great post, and pictures!

  18. christy June 25, 2008 1:10 pm edit

    It’s true. I feel exactly the same way. Like how the heck did I end up with a nearly six year old?! Where does the time go?
    Vapour. Vanished. Gone.

    christy’s last blog post..The count is on.

  19. Andrea June 25, 2008 1:18 pm edit

    I had this moment when I was turning 26 ( I think it was 26 – it may have been 27. I can’t remember… the process of aging is so cruel ). I was having a terrible time realizing that I wasn’t 18 anymore. I wrote a blog post about it – pouring out my heart and everything… it didn’t help. I still had a birthday, I was still whining about my gazillions of gray hairs, but thankfully I was still married to my amazing husband and had my kids to love on me.

    It is shocking to take stock of our lives at times….

    You are blessed… those kids of yours are magnificent.


    btw – I am glad to hear that someone else’s husband/father of her children moons people too. I thought I was the only one. Perhaps a ‘married to a mooner’ club would be in order.

    Andrea’s last blog post..A bowl of cherries…

  20. Hannah June 25, 2008 1:23 pm edit

    Yeah, I get those feelings sometimes. Mostly when I’m observing my kids from a distance and they don’t know I’m there. Like when I arrive at school early and spy on Tyler through the Kindy gates and then spy on Ethan through his classroom window. I see them doing/saying things and think, “wow, cool kid!” and then realise “hey, they are MINE”.

    Hannah’s last blog post..Making a difference

  21. Kami June 25, 2008 1:54 pm edit

    This happens to me too… I go all, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. And then I remember.

    At the same time I can’t remember what it was like before I was married to Jay and before I was a Mommy.

    But that could just be old age.


    Kami’s last blog post..Summer Fun

  22. Kristabella June 25, 2008 2:11 pm edit

    That last picture of Emily is priceless.

    I think we all go through that. I have those same kind of things when I’m like “when did I become such a grown up? Paying rent and thinking about 401k?”

    But then the alternative is being 22 again and no thanks! I like 30 just fine! :)

    Kristabella’s last blog post..Trust Is A Four Letter Word

  23. Smilf June 25, 2008 2:13 pm edit

    Oh you are definitely not alone. I think these things too – especially the stepmom part. I think, “If you would have told me I would be HERE 5 years ago I would have laughed in your face.” I love my life though thank goodness (on most days…LOL)

    Smilf’s last blog post..SMILF: Dear Co-Worker

  24. Rhi June 25, 2008 3:10 pm edit

    I HEAR YOU. Yesterday, as I was boarding a flight, I was thinking, “Dude, I am traveling, for work. How am I even allowed to board a plane without my mom?”

    Rhi’s last blog post..Dear Seattle

  25. Victoria June 25, 2008 4:46 pm edit

    Yeah, for me it’s “I’m paying bills? And buying my own groceries? I have a job? An apartment? Wha? Has no one figured out I’m just a kid?” ;)

    Victoria’s last blog post..Am I The Only One This Happens To?

  26. Kaza June 25, 2008 6:17 pm edit

    Just chiming in to add to the voices above… you are not alone! What gets me is realizing that MY mom was thinking those thoughts (maybe) when I was a little girl, when I thought she was GOD and knew everything and was totally in control. I’m just glad our kids have no clue how dumbfounded we sometimes are that we are actually grownups charged with the awesome (in the original sense of the word) task of taking care of these amazing beings.

    Kaza’s last blog post..Oots! I Forgot Toon Tuesday!

  27. red lotus mama June 25, 2008 6:38 pm edit

    Sometimes I am out with Little ‘Ny and think to myself “are people starring at me because I am too young to have a kid?” Well I am 30+ so what is the big deal? First, I look young. Second, I am shocked I have an incredible almost 3 year old. I don’t know why I feel like that, but sometimes I just do.

  28. Elaine June 25, 2008 7:47 pm edit

    I tell ‘ya, I look around AT LEAST once a week and go how did I get in my own house with my own husband and kids? What?? It boggles the mind…

    Elaine’s last blog post..Here I Go Again

  29. Shamelessly Sassy June 25, 2008 8:59 pm edit

    I’m like this about everything. I’m married. WHOA. I’m a mother. WHAT?!? AT some point, I got a driver’s license…WHAT? I have some days where I just feel like that all day. haha.

    Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..RoadRash Rita: the Sister of 80’s Lady

  30. SarahD June 25, 2008 9:35 pm edit

    I can relate to the entire thing too. Sometimes when I meet up with ol’ highschool pals, it feels weird to say I’ve been married 9 years and have 3 kids…as I am still really only 19.

  31. Dayna June 26, 2008 9:10 am edit

    GO GRAHAM! Good to see your uncle is teaching you well :P

    I totally hear you on the “how did this happen” train of thought! My friends are getting engaged/married and I’m moving…so it’s more of a “When did we start being allowed to make these decisions??”
    Ahh, good times.

    Dayna’s last blog post..Mmm’sleep

  32. slynnro June 26, 2008 9:57 am edit

    I do this CONSTANTLY. With my husband, and with my job. I’m like Holy Hell. How did they let me become an attorney?

    slynnro’s last blog post..Dear Billboard Near My Workplace:

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