Might As Well Jump

I’m still fighting the low-grade anxiety (and sometimes, high-grade anxiety)(because I’m an over-achiever), but I’m making strides. I’d gotten out of the habit of writing — by hand — all of what I have going on. I’ve started doing that again, daily. No app will ever replace the feeling of a pen to paper, at least for me. I love the thrill I get when I cross something off of the list. I will also write items on my list that I’ve already completed, just so that I can feel the satisfaction of crossing them off.

I’ve made an appointment with my doctor for this coming Friday to see if any of my crazy is a medical issue. I’m looking forward to ruling out or ruling in the thyroid, and going from there.

Running has been an anxiety trigger, which is ridiculous. I keep running, because it’s also an anxiety relief. That probably doesn’t makes sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. Yesterday, I officially registered for my first half marathon. I think that focusing on my training will push the anxiety aside. When I was running the Giant’s Head 10K, I was too focused on racing to even think about worrying. I narrowed my eyes, pumped my arms and legs, and kept repeating to myself that I can do this. (I also told myself that I was a badass. As you do.)

I’m running in a half marathon, twelve weeks from now. I can do this. I can so do this. At least, I think I can.

I might as well jump.

 

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  1. Kandi June 12, 2013 7:32 am edit

    I really hope you get your anxiety issue taken care of! It sounds pretty horrible. Hopefully your doctor can give you some insight and it is an easy fix.
    I’m really excited for your half marathon! I will probably be doing a half marathon in September as well, hopefully pacing my mom to her very first half marathon! She will be telling me in the next few weeks whether she wants to or not. Her longest race has been 15k so I know she can handle a half marathon. I know you can too. :)

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:44 pm edit

      Thanks, you. I know that your Mom can do it, too. Especially with you beside her. :)

  2. Amy June 12, 2013 9:47 am edit

    I didn’t realize you were suffering from all this anxiety, Angella. I hope you get some answers from your doctor, but I do want to just tell you that writing things down is a huge management piece for me, too, including the crossing off ritual. I’m SURE you’re not alone in that!

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:44 pm edit

      No, I know. I don’t know why I stopped, because it is usually a daily habit. It’s helping.

  3. Kami June 12, 2013 2:55 pm edit

    You will do it!
    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remember isn’t not where you are going but how far you have come.

    Good luck with your appointment – I hope you get some answers so can reduce or eliminate the anxiety.

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:45 pm edit

      Thanks, friend. :)

  4. Kristen June 12, 2013 4:02 pm edit

    Okay, #1, you know I’m super proud of you. And, I’m going to give you my spiel in the hopes that it helps you out a little. Basically, it’s awesome that you’ve signed up and committed, and, if at any point you start feeling nervous about any part of the race, please remember the following: By signing up, you’ve done something bigger than many people dream of. By training and showing up, you’re already a huge inspiration and a winner. You are. Period. When you take the first steps past the start line? Girl, you’re AMAZING. And when you cross that finish line — WHENEVER you cross it — you have just become an Official Rock Star. This is the truth, and also the truth? You can do this. Absolutely.

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:46 pm edit

      I read this while running errands today and YOU MADE ME CRY.

      Also, I need to print this comment and hang it on my wall.

  5. Hannah June 12, 2013 4:26 pm edit

    Thinking of you lots, Angella. I hope you can get some answers from your doctor soon. I agree that writing things out is very therapeutic. I have stacks of journals from my days of struggle with depression and anxiety, and although looking back can be difficult (tear-jerking!) I can also see the progress I made over time. Which is really cool.

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:46 pm edit

      It is. Thanks, friend.

  6. ChrisB June 12, 2013 4:56 pm edit

    I don’t only think you can, I KNOW you can!!!

    1. angella June 12, 2013 6:46 pm edit

      Thanks, Coach! xo

  7. Ashley S June 12, 2013 10:10 pm edit

    Those exercise endorphins are SO great for all things stressful! I’m so glad that you’re able to push through your anxiety (I can’t imagine how that feels) to get your runs in!

  8. ememby June 13, 2013 11:40 am edit

    Jump away – you have got this! Name your fear and kick its butt! You are awesome!

  9. Hillary June 17, 2013 2:47 pm edit

    You are going to rock this race SO HARD. I know it.

    (Also? I love making lists and I TOTALLY add things I’ve already done just so I can cross them off. One more reason I love you.)

  10. Elaine A. June 17, 2013 6:20 pm edit

    You can TOTALLY do it and you ARE a bad ass!! :D

  11. Fizaa Khan June 21, 2013 6:06 am edit

    That Location is amazing.

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