I haven’t talked much about my back-to-work situation much lately because there hasn’t been much to talk about. That first month or so was a pretty drastic adjustment and I had a harder go of it than I really articulated. I was in a whole new routine, Matthew was in a whole new routine and the kids were in a whole new routine. There were a lot of bumps in the road and more than a few tears shed on all of our parts. There was more than one occasion where I closed my office door and let it all out.

Things have been better. Much, much better. Graham has whittled his morning hug quota from ten or so to one big one. Not only that, he always gets up while I’m getting ready to sit on the bathroom counter and talk to me while I’m putting on my face. Nathan is his regular huggy self but nothing out of the norm. If Emily is up, she will will give me a hug and then crawl in to bed with Daddy for a cuddle.

As for me, I’m doing alright. I’m a little burnt out from working six days a week but that will all come to a halt next Friday. I’m feeling a little creatively frustrated because being away from home for such long days and for half of the weekend doesn’t leave much time for some of the projects I have simmering on the back burner of my brain. This, too, shall be remedied soon – especially since our office goes to a four-day work week for the last six months of the year. I’m in the groove of my job, I’m enjoying the office/adult environment and I spend my lunch hours walking outside in the sunshine.

Matthew’s hours have recently been upped at the church (starting July 1st) but we’re pretty sure we can make it all work with my shorted/lesser days so that no child is left behind. Or something. We just need to make it through these next two months.

One little glitch has come up as of late which has caused us to evaluate our routine. Matthew works full days on Tuesdays, so Miss Emily spends the morning at preschool, has lunch with Daddy and then spends the afternoon with her favorite auntie and cousins. For the past month or so, the hand-off to auntie has been, shall we say, difficult. There are tears, there is clinging, there is the limp-noodle manoeuvre. When I cuddle with her at the end of the day to ask why she cries, she states simply, “I don’t want Daddy to leave.”

She’s been this way at other hand-offs as well. Sunday school, ballet, etc. Part of it is likely due to the fact that she is three (stubborn and opinionated) and the other part of it is likely due to the fact that she is three (still a baby who misses her parents).

We could just shrug it off as something she’ll need to deal with but she’s my baby and it kills me to hear about her being so upset. Have I mentioned that she’s only three? And that she’s my baby? Also! I have a fairly flexible work schedule.

We’ve worked out a solution. Starting in May, I will continue to come in an hour early every morning, but I will take Tuesday afternoons off. Daddy will pick her up from pre-school and share lunch with her per usual (the lake has been their recent haunt), then I will pick her up and bring her home. She and I will have a few hours together before we have to pick up the boys from school, and then the four of us can play outside, take photos, do whatever we want.

Emily will be spared the angst of feeling like we’ve left her behind and I will have an afternoon to “just” be a Mom. I’m pretty sure that the two of us will have a lot of fun and maybe get into some good-natured mischief together.

Good to the last drop

I’ll follow her lead.

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  1. Ashley April 22, 2010 6:49 am edit

    I’m glad to hear that we’re not the only ones who face the absolute meltdown of tears when leaving our 3 year old behind. And I’m also really glad to hear, we aren’t the only ones who do our best to avoid and accomodate it, to make our 3 year old feel better. While I know there are times it can’t be helped and I have to leave, we do our very best not to leave Bethany sobbing for us. I can’t. She’s my baby and I want her to know always that we’re there for her, that she’s safe where ever she is and that I love her with my every breath.

    I was that fearful kid when I was small and while my parents left quite often, there were times my Mom missed events or things just because she knew I needed her. I haven’t forgotten that.

    Like I said I know it’s unavoidable sometime for different parents, but I’m really happy to know that you were able to make it work and that you are sensitive to her little feelings.

    PS: That face resembles Corey’s after a bowl of ice cream….

  2. angella April 22, 2010 12:58 pm edit

    She had just finished licking her bowl of ice cream clean. Daddy had been extra generous with the topping… ;)

  3. Amanda Brown April 22, 2010 7:35 am edit

    Yay! So glad you’ve found a solution that will work for everyone.

    PS: That photo is one of my all-time favorites. :)
    .-= Amanda Brown´s last blog ..Muumuus Are Cooler Than You Think. =-.

  4. Jen Wilson April 22, 2010 7:41 am edit

    You guys are AWESOME! I hate “leaving behind” Liliana at day care. We made it work for a while with our work schedules for one of us to be home all the time, but when we’re both working full time AND one of us is in university full time, there’s some overlap.

    I know you’ll love your afternoons of just you and Emily. I love my days of just me and my three-ON-SUNDAY-year-old.


  5. Jen Wilson April 22, 2010 7:42 am edit

    Also, her blue eyes are AMAZING.

  6. Kami's Khlopchyk April 22, 2010 7:51 am edit

    That sounds like pretty much the perfect solution. Glad you are able to work it out!
    .-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..The Corruption of a Sweet Little Girl =-.

  7. sizzle April 22, 2010 9:49 am edit

    I think that’s a great solution- everyone wins. And spending girl time together is going to be so much fun. :-)
    .-= sizzle´s last blog ..Sounds fun, eh? =-.

  8. hillary April 22, 2010 11:49 am edit

    I’m so glad that your workplace is flexible and you’ve found a solution :)
    .-= hillary´s last blog ..Turn Away While I Celebrate Will You Tolerate While I Waste The Day Away? =-.

  9. Hannah April 22, 2010 1:08 pm edit

    Well, my “baby” is five and we have had really tearful goodbyes at school this year. It’s heartbreaking. Unfortunately I can’t just change his routine so that he won’t have to have a tearful farewell, but thankfully he is much better now and happily says goodbye to me when I drop him off. We’ve been dealing with tears-at-drop-off for years now, as Ethan did it at Kindergarten and Tyler did it at Preschool, Kindergarten AND School. I do know how horrible it is to see your child upset and wanting to stay with you. I hope your new routines keep everybody happy :-)
    .-= Hannah´s last blog ..My rockstar =-.

  10. A Little Coffee April 22, 2010 1:55 pm edit

    Emily looks so much like Graham in that last picture!

  11. Kristabella April 22, 2010 2:41 pm edit

    Oh man, I can remember these times when I would babysit my niece and nephew. My nephew was always worse, for some reason. Probably because Skyler knows Auntie = SWEETS!

    But it would break my brother and SIL’s heart. And mine too because I’m like “it’s me! Auntie! We have fun! You won’t miss those silly parents of yours at all!”
    .-= Kristabella´s last blog ..A Little Bit Of This, A Little Bit Of That =-.

  12. Jenn April 22, 2010 2:48 pm edit

    I really admire when companies are flexible with their employees to find solutions that work for everyone!
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Earth Day =-.

  13. alimartell April 22, 2010 7:07 pm edit

    THIS: Part of it is likely due to the fact that she is three (stubborn and opinionated) and the other part of it is likely due to the fact that she is three (still a baby who misses her parents)

    OH MY GOD. That was Isabella at 3 when I was working. So, I know. I KNOW. and this tuesday afternoon thing? AMAZING.
    .-= alimartell´s last blog ..….And Scene. =-.

  14. Elizabeth April 23, 2010 12:01 am edit

    Sounds fabulous. You rock.
    .-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Brackets =-.

  15. designHer Momma April 23, 2010 6:31 pm edit

    ugh – she is super SUPER cute. And the work thing – I’ve totally been there. It’s tricky business.
    .-= designHer Momma´s last blog ..Yesterday. Earth Day. Documented. =-.

  16. kim @ mommyknows April 25, 2010 8:15 am edit

    It sounds like a great solution for everyone.

    Only one of my four ever gave two hoots about being left. I took him everywhere and it drove my friends crazy. They all thought I should leave him places so he’d get used to it. I so disagree …

    You only have a handful of ‘home’ years :)
    .-= kim @ mommyknows´s last blog ..Real Food – Frittata (how-to) =-.

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