A common theme around these here parts involves me writing eloquently (Ha!) about my sweet baby girl. She is intelligent, funny, adorable.

She is also a girl! After two rambunctious boys and days spent playing with trucks and superheroes, I finally had a little being who was genetically just like me.  Girly bits and all that jazz. I started to dream dreams of pink, and of purple, and of all things pastel.

Those dreams are all coming true already.  She “cooks” in her kitchen, plays with dolls, has tea parties with her brothers who pretend they don’t want to be there but TOTALLY DO. She is in love with all things Princess. The dresses, the jewelry, The Little Mermaid (The songs are TORTURING me).  The upside is that if we want her to do something (take medicine, eat vegetables, etc), we tell her it is “Princess”.

“Princess” broccoli. It’s what’s for dinner.

This past week we have been known to comment on a regular basis that Miss Emily has figured out what it really means to be TWO. ‘Tis all about the TERRIBLE.

That would be FIRE you see in her eyes.  I have no idea where she gets that from.

Here is an example from last week while I was loading the kids into the van.  I put on a CD and she yelled, “LOUDER!” (My kids like my music (If anyone buys her The Little Mermaid soundtrack for Christmas, they should PREPARE TO DIE) and they like it loud.)

I told her that the music was loud enough.  Mommy needs to be able to think at least a little bit. No. Really.

Her response?

THHBBBBPPPTTTTTTT!

I told her that she was NOT to do that to Mommy. That is called Bad Manners.

THHHBBBBBPPPPTTTTTT!

I dealt with it immediately, but that wasn’t the last time she has pulled that stunt. She is a feisty one, that girl.  Again, NO IDEA where she gets it from.

On Sunday afternoon, she decided to kick it up a notch.

The kids were all playing downstairs while my brother watched the game.  Matthew was in the office practicing guitar (Swoon) and I was playing on my pretty new laptop. All of a sudden Lance came upstairs and told me that I needed to get downstairs. STAT.

Little Miss Emily had pooped in her diaper.  This is something that we praise her for (The pooping. Not the diaper) as she has always had constipation issues.  Lately her stool has been softer (You are welcome) and she had decided to experience it in its full glory.

She had shoved her hands down the back of the diaper and upon realizing that her hands were covered in FECES, decided to WIPE HER HANDS ALL OVER THE LEATHER COUCH. I (surprisingly) did not take a photo.  You really are welcome for that one.

Besides. I was too busy carting her up to the bath and repeating, “Don’t touch me. DON’T TOUCH ME. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM ME.”

So. Sick.  I honestly washed my hands about twenty times. Possibly thirty.

Then on Monday night, whilst I was at Boot Camp, SHE DID IT AGAIN.  I did not have to deal with it (Phew!), but methinks it is time that Miss Emily started doing her business on the toilet.

It’s a good thing she’s so stinking (Ha!) cute, or I would have to send her packing.

I have said it before, but I will say it again. The teenage years are going to be AWESOME.

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  1. Camels & Chocolate December 9, 2008 12:35 am edit

    Ugh. This reminds me of my little sis at 2 (we were so far apart in age, I remember it well). She took YELLOW PAINT and rubbed it all over my brand new, expensive WHITE set of furniture. She slit all the HIGH-THREAD COUNT sheets in the house with scissors. She cut her own hair. She dialed 911. She drew in closets with markers (we only found this when my parents left their old house last year…18 years after the fact!). She was a total nightmare.

    Camels & Chocolate’s last blog post..And the Winner Is?

  2. Robyn December 9, 2008 12:56 am edit

    Hmmmm I wonder if its in the name?? My Emily’s cuteness was a survival mechanism I’m sure. I won’t go into all the gory details (but one episode involved a hairbrush *shudder* and whipping a full daiper above her head to try another method of painting the walls) but lets just say that I recommend buying disposable gloves…in bulk. Hope this is a very quickly passing phase for you guys.

    Robyn’s last blog post..Disco!

  3. Michele December 9, 2008 3:50 am edit

    What a little turkey!!!

  4. Jen December 9, 2008 6:29 am edit

    It does look like she has fire in her eyes in that one picture. And the last picture is a typical two year old. Awesome.

    Abby was a poop smear-er too. It was disgusting. It happened half a dozen times and thank goodness we were in an apartment because even after all the scrubbing, I was sure there was still poop everywhere. Walls, carpets, bed sheets, bed frames, closet doors. So we bought a house and left the stench and stains behind.

    Good luck with potty training.

  5. ali December 9, 2008 7:04 am edit

    you know what’s awesome??
    having three toilet trained kids!
    it’s within your reach Angella! :)

  6. Mrs. Wilson December 9, 2008 7:36 am edit

    Oh man. When I lived in Terrace I babysat a little dude who loved to do that. I was all about the Lysol. So So SO gross. Liliana’s still in onesies (Saskatchewan is COLD), so she hasn’t attempted the hand down the back of the pants. Yet.

    At least it was a leather couch, and you could wipe it off. You gotta find the silver (brown?) lining somewhere ;)

    Mrs. Wilson’s last blog post..Shortbread all in a row

  7. sizzle December 9, 2008 9:07 am edit

    Gag!

    :-)

    (Too funny about saying you are welcome. I feel like I should say thank you but. . . I won’t. Heh!)

    sizzle’s last blog post..Check That List

  8. Rhoni Renee December 9, 2008 9:14 am edit

    That last picture is probably one of my favorites EVER that I’ve seen of her.

    She does seem to be quite the little firecracker. :-)

    Rhoni Renee’s last blog post..Stranger in the mirror

  9. Kami December 9, 2008 9:17 am edit

    Oh dear, I think she just bought herself a trip through the land of potty training!

    :)

    Kami’s last blog post..Rubber boy

  10. Amanda Brown December 9, 2008 9:21 am edit

    Avelyn has done a modified version of Emily’s deed. She’ll just stick one finger down her poo-smeared crck, pull out the defiled digit and say, “Oh dear!” Oh dear, indeed. :)

    Amanda Brown’s last blog post..Weekend Away

  11. hillary December 9, 2008 10:09 am edit

    wow
    just … wow

    this scares me
    a lot

    hillary’s last blog post..You’re A Womanizer, Baby

  12. angella December 9, 2008 10:15 am edit

    Babies are just like puppies. Only…they take 18 years to grow up ;)

  13. Claire December 9, 2008 11:26 am edit

    I have heard this sort of thing happens with 2s and 3s and I just pray to the good Lord up above that my son decides not to venture there. I’ll be good forever and ever if he makes this come true.

    Claire’s last blog post..Sad and happy

  14. Laurie December 9, 2008 12:25 pm edit

    onesies. that’s all i’m sayin’

    Laurie’s last blog post..Tis the Season

  15. Rhi December 9, 2008 12:44 pm edit

    I mainly want to hear the story in which she told you to “go away”, because it reminds me of something my niece often says to me which is, “Me not yike you vewy much right now Anni Rhi”

    Rhi’s last blog post..The RhiRhi Holiday Gift Guide

  16. christy December 9, 2008 1:32 pm edit

    Liv did the same thing yesterday….weird.
    STRAIGHT into the tub.

  17. Hannah December 9, 2008 1:47 pm edit

    Ah, and so it begins. Lucky she’s so cute, huh?
    I wonder if it’s the “youngest child” thing. Tyler went through the terrible 2′s; Ethan didn’t. Tyler is way more stubborn and strong-willed; Ethan is very compliant. I have several friends who experienced the same thing with their youngest children. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe not!

    Hannah’s last blog post..An invitation

  18. Kerri Anne December 9, 2008 3:02 pm edit

    OK, this post and Amanda’s comment are killing me softly right now. And now I have an overwhelming urge to ask my mother if I ever defiled my finger, or the couch, or ANYTHING when I was Emily’s or Avelyn’s age.

    Kerri Anne’s last blog post..And The People Who Left Me Keep Asking When I’m Coming Back To Town, Part Three Of Three

  19. jenn December 9, 2008 3:10 pm edit

    Oh gosh, I remember those days..least it was leather, guess thats the upside? LOL..Ethan liked doing that on wooden furniture…not so easy to clean off!! Especially if it was found hours later..im just sayin. I LOOOOVE that last pic of her!!! adorable, and that my dear is the reason I am sure she gets away with things…just like my Ethan with his green eyes!

  20. LVGurl December 9, 2008 3:24 pm edit

    DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T! TOUCH! ANYTHING!

    Oh, have I been there………

    I think the diaper-handling, poop-smearing is a girl thing. Apparently, I did it as a toddler, and both my girls did it while potty training. Well, I haven’t exactly potty trained Paige, but she’s already taken a dip into her diapers…

    LVGurl’s last blog post..By any other name

  21. The Over-Thinker December 9, 2008 3:26 pm edit

    So, you’re saying when I visit that I shouldn’t stay on the couch???

    The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Valium? Valium? Anybody?

  22. Domestic Extraordinaire December 9, 2008 3:28 pm edit

    Okay this is one instance where I can say that I never had to deal with that and Thank goodness. Diaper blowouts were bad enough for me to deal with, but hands going into the mess. ICK!

    Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..I’m here

  23. angella December 9, 2008 3:48 pm edit

    We have three. So far only ONE has been defecated.

  24. Heidi F December 9, 2008 4:39 pm edit

    Ah well – spit happens!

  25. angella December 9, 2008 4:50 pm edit

    HAAAAAAAA!

  26. gorillabuns December 9, 2008 7:17 pm edit

    Sadly, I’m still having poop issues but not in the smear variety. My almost 4yr old thinks it’s sometimes okay to poop a pebble in her panties and THEN dump it in the toilet. I’m beyond mortified.

  27. Kristin December 9, 2008 11:22 pm edit

    That last picture says it ALL! It’s a good thing she is cute!

  28. Andrea December 10, 2008 9:08 am edit

    I have not experienced this form poop removal yet. I hope TO GOD I never will. I deal with such things so well. Full of grace and patience. Ah yes, Andrea aka Supermom.

    NOT SO MUCH.

    Judah is the one for me… I find myself exclaiming over how FRUSTRATING he is. And then I realize… HE is ME. God loves me. In a special way.

    Have fun with the toilet. And the undies. And the beautiful girl who will soon employ both. :)

    -Andrea

    Andrea’s last blog post..What’s Up, Buttercup!

  29. Danica December 10, 2008 9:53 am edit

    Poop. It’s what the best blog posts are made of.

    Danica’s last blog post..Christmases Past

  30. katie ~ motherbumper December 10, 2008 7:24 pm edit

    Oh I hear you OH I HEAR YOU (could have written this myself). And poop art in any form is really sh*#tty to clean up.

    katie ~ motherbumper’s last blog post..wordless wednesday: now with less words

  31. She Likes Purple December 10, 2008 8:12 pm edit

    Oh I had to laugh. And she is so freaking adorable, but all I can really think is, “Thank GOODNESS you have a leather couch.”

    She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Soaking it up

  32. witchypoo December 11, 2008 6:09 am edit

    Oh, yes. Sh*t mittens.
    I think I love Miss Emily.
    Is that wrong?

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Remember Newhart?

  33. Elaine December 11, 2008 12:11 pm edit

    What a little stinker, literally. ; ) Sorry that happened, twice. Yuck! I hope potty training goes well… ; )

    Elaine’s last blog post..A Much Anticipated Trip

  34. pamela from the dayton time December 11, 2008 12:43 pm edit

    So, so, so, so yuck.
    We have had luck putting the diaper on backwards, tabs in the back.
    Also? Wrapping the child in duct tape is another way to ensure the diaper stays on and the poo stays in.

    pamela from the dayton time’s last blog post..wordless wednesday: with tunes

  35. metalia December 11, 2008 7:40 pm edit

    That last picture? BEST EVER.

    metalia’s last blog post..Baby v. New Toy

  36. Velma December 12, 2008 8:25 am edit

    My son went through this phase, but unfortunately the couch was not leather…! Yuck-o-rama!

    Velma’s last blog post..At Least He’s Verbalizing His Frustrations, Right?

  37. Kristabella December 12, 2008 2:08 pm edit

    My brother’s neighbor’s kid did the same thing when she was little. The funny thing was my SIL was pregnant with my niece at the time and knew it was a girl and was like “oh crap.” (Pun intended.)

    I don’t think I could ever be a parent. Because when kids do things like that, I just laugh.

    Kristabella’s last blog post..Almost Friday Bullets

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