My twenty-fifth year is one that stands out in my memory more than many others do.
I had gotten tired of not understanding my body. I had tried the “don’t eat for three days” diet and failed (Obviously). I had tried the “eat everything in moderation” diet and failed due to my lack of understanding what “moderation” meant. Apparently plates heaped with pasta and sauce do not count as “moderation”.
I had consulted with a dietitian and gotten my eating onto the healthy track. I started working out at a gym and actually partook in physical exercise. Soon after, I met and became engaged to the man who is now my husband. While I was on the verge of shedding my former, awkward self, the scars apparently remained. While I was headed down the right path towards coming to peace with my body, I had twenty-four years of discomfort with it to overcome.
I had a coworker who had the office next to mine. She was the age I am now, thirty-four, and had more spunk in her pinkie finger than I have in my entire body. We talked openly about life, and love, and everything else. She and I hit it off and would chat at the doorways of our side-by-side offices instead of working. I do not know how we got onto the topic that one day, but she told me that her thirties were so much better than her twenties. She just did not care anymore. She told me that she wore a bikini and did not give a rip about the stretch marks caused by birthing her two girls. Not only did she not worry about them, she was proud of them. They were battle scars from the miracle of childbirth and she had lived to tell about it. She had two adorable cherubs to show for those scars and could care less if her marks were seen by the world.
As someone who had spent most of her life hiding under layers of clothing the thought of wearing a bikini struck fear into my heart. Her words about the thirties being better than the twenties resonated with me regardless of my love of a one-piece (and a cover-up). I have quoted that statement to many people in the years since then, even before I myself had hit my thirties. It seemed like a beacon of hope for me. One day, I was going to grow to be more at ease with my body, with my faith, with my relationships, with myself. I took her at her word and hoped that it would be a statement I would be able to state as a truth that I had experienced.
It is now nine years later and I am ate that age where my friend was. I am married to a man greater than I had ever hoped for myself. I have borne three healthy, beautiful, perfect children. My body made it through the childbearing years with nary a stretch mark (Don’t hate me), but my hips are wider, my skin is looser, I have wrinkles where I wish I did not. Despite the effects of age on my body I feel more at home in it than I ever have. I have reintroduced fitness into my life and can lift things that I could not lift a year ago. I am also curvier than I was a year ago, but those curves are there by way of hard work and effort, not by way of nachos and chocolate.
In addition to feeling at peace with my physical body, I feel the same toward my emotional and spiritual self. There is room for growth, yes, but I feel like I am moving in the right direction. I am striving for an even better future, but not at the expense of appreciating the present.
And appreciate it I do. I know all too well that life can make a sharp left turn and throw everything out of balance. Time spent worrying about these possibilities are futile; do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself.
I am a testament to that statement uttered to me almost ten years ago. With each passing year I have felt the insecurities lessen and the self-security increase. I still have moments, days even, where I struggle and doubt and pick myself apart. Those days, however, are getting further and further apart. I completely and utterly endorse the statement that your thirties are better than your twenties.
If this trend continues then I think it may be safe to say that the forties are going to blow my mind.
As one now in my 60′s, I can say: it gets ever better!
Thank you for another blog in which you hold up the light for all your friends and fans in your heartfelt, lively and positive way.
Angella, from a distance I believe I’ve seen the growth in you in just a few short years.
So much of what you write has been my struggle too (yes, even guys and oldies!) and the freedom and peace that come from accepting our bodies and characters is something I’d never have imagined possible.
Thanks again for inspiring and sharing so openly!
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What a wonderful post. I am going to be 30 this year, I’ve been married for 9 years and have a 6 year old boy. I was kind of upset about leaving my 20s, but this post made me smile. I’m looking forward to my 30s.
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i’ve seen your “younger” pictures from your blog…and you seriously look better every year. really.
joyce’s last blog post..5 weekend random’s
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It is SO true! It is almost like a switch flips and you just don’t care. You’re more comfortable in your skin. I was so excited to see my 20s go. I had a good time, and they were fun, but they were also not the easiest years.
Kristabella’s last blog post..Just Say No. To Kool-Aid.
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Wow. I AM 25 (almost 26) and I’m scared to death of 30. But, you make it sound so good that I might just start to look forward to it. Just a little bit. In between bouts of crying.
Mrs. Wilson’s last blog post..It’s all in my head
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Hear hear!
Absolutely, all the insecurities of your teens and 20′s disappear once you take control of your won destiny. I am there too and it’s BLISS.
Great post Angella, amen and alleluia for the 30′s!
Kami’s last blog post..Inspiration
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I wouldn’t relive my 20′s for all the tea in China! When I turned 40, I had to keep reminding myself, you either get old or die! No worries!
mommyknows’s last blog post..We’re Going Downhill –> FAST!
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I am just at the beginning of my 40s and I have found that I’m not only more comfortable with myself physically, I am more comfortable with myself emotionally. Even a few years ago, I remember trying to fit myself into a particular mold – The Hip Mom, The Crunchy Mom, The Creative Mom… now, I am glad I’m not one of those. I’m a little bit of all of them, and a lot more great stuff in addition!
Awesome post! (Although I won’t be wearing any bikinis any time soon
)
Sue @ My Party of 6′s last blog post..Decrapification, Part 3
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oh yes.
i am LOVING my thirties!
ali’s last blog post..gifts i don’t get enough
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I have always looked forward to being in my30s. Only 4 more years to go!
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Fifties are good too. Except for the hot flashes. They suck.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Grace In Small Things The Oneth
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I believe it! Dude, my twenties have been waaaaay better than my teen years. I feel like my thirties will kick my twenties’ ass. Hopefully.
hillary’s last blog post..Hello Hello I’ve Got What You’re Searching For
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You are gorgeous on the outside, Angella. And you also have an inner beauty that just glows outward and intensifies your outer beauty. My wish for all women is that they come to that place where they are comfortable with themselves and cherish their own special gifts.
Love that photo of you two! Simply stunning!
teeni’s last blog post..He’s Not All That
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I have to admit, I’m not looking forward to hitting 40 next month. I don’t feel it for sure but the number is making me slightly ill.
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I hope that magic moment in the 30′s where you are comfortable with yourself switches on for me soon!
Jill – GlossyVeneer’s last blog post..Bride Wars
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I keep hearing this, and I definitely feel as though I’ve been moving in that direction even over the last year or two (I’ll be 29 next month). My husband keeps whining that we’re almost thirty, but I have to admit, I’m kind of excited about this decade that’s approaching. Thanks for the encouragement (as always!)
Danica’s last blog post..One of my Favorites2
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Great post.
I’ve only been in my 30′s for 10 months, but I’m loving it so far! I have finally come to terms with who I am, what I look like, and it feels really good. I am not dreading my upcoming 31st birthday, but I am looking forward to it.
Hannah’s last blog post..So kiss me, my love
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You go Girl! I am with you all the way.
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you inspire me Angella!
I’m in my mid 20′s, and am looking forward to many many awesome years to come
Andi’s last blog post..HP massive competition- who would I share my winnings with?
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Gorgeous photo! Not even a month into my thirties, I will embrace the statement without fully understanding it!
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As someone who has begun to get nervous about the fact that turning 30 is coming sooner rather than later, I totally appreciate this post! I really hope I’ll be saying the same thing too!
Melissa’s last blog post..What’s in the Bag?
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I definitely agree and am encouraged by other commenter’s who are in their 40′s+ that say it just keeps getting better!
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children’s last blog post..All dressed up
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Awesome! I’m only a few years off, so I’ll look forward with excitement!
ELizabeth’s last blog post..The thinks I think
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I’m still in my early 20s, so I have a while to go, but it’s nice to see something so positive about getting older. I find most days I wish I could go back and be a kid again! Great post and love the photo!
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I totally agree! Your 30′s ARE better than the 20′s! I love life so much even with many many stretch marks.
beautiful picture!
bridge’s last blog post..So, I saw a rainbow today.
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I couldn’t agree more. Even though I am not happy with my body, my sense of self and my confidence in who I am is unwavering. It’s such a gift!
sizzle’s last blog post..Facebook Finds
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Amen! I will be 34 myself in a couple of months and it doesn’t bother me one bit. I feel like I am healthier and happier than I’ve ever been. And I’m SO glad to hear the same from you!
Elaine’s last blog post..Bloggy Giveaways Carnival – Good For The Kids!
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I just found your blog thanks to BethanyActually, and I LOVE this post. I am 37 and also spent my younger years plagued by feeling inferior and insecure. Since I have hit my 30′s I am so glad to say that I am no longer a prisoner to such feelings. Thanks for putting into such eloquent words.
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