On Wednesday morning I sat down to eat breakfast before leaving for work and cracked open my laptop as I always do. My email inbox was flooded with messages from the BlogNosh editors group. Those messages informed me that Miss Madeline had passed away.
Wait. WHAT?
I knew that she was in the hospital, and had told Heather that I was praying for them, but I had no idea that death was even a possibility. I sat back and had to take a bunch of deep breaths to keep myself from losing it. I threw up a quick side blog post to let others know what I had heard and then shut my laptop. I kissed and hugged my kids more than they probably liked and headed off to work. I wanted nothing more than to stay home with them, but that would mean that I would have to work on Good Friday and I would rather be with my family than reviewing tax returns.
Work was a bit of a disaster. I kept thinking about how I would cope with a similar loss and would be brought to tears. Then every time I checked Twitter/Facebook I would hear about all that was being done in memory of Maddie and would be simultaneously inspired and heartbroken. On my lunch hour I read post after post that made the tears spring forth. The good that was happening from this (Very, VERY) bad thing was overwhelming. For a group of people (Bloggers) that are often looked upon as not quite “normal”, or whose friendships are deemed not “real”, WE SURE PROVED THEM WRONG.
In the midst of this day of sadness, I had a good friend pop up on Gchat and make my day. Further proof that The Internets? They rock.
Then, towards the end of the day, I had an experience like none other. I was heavily ensconced in a tax return and heard footsteps coming down the hall. I looked up in time to see our receptionist slingshot-ing (It’s a WORD, spell-check) a flying monkey at my head. You heard me right. A FLYING MONKEY. A flying monkey that makes CRAZY MONKEY SOUNDS.
If you do not believe me, watch this clip.
I may or may not have screamed like a school girl. I also may or may not have jumped three feet in the air. After recovering from my near heart attack I laughed for the very first time that day. Our receptionist and I then giggled about someecards.com (I had sent her one) and then the classic happened. She told me that the Monkey was a “pay it forward” deal and, “you should set your monkey free.” I replied with “That’s what she said.” She laughed so hard that it is indescribable. She doesn’t watch The Office and yet she still got the humor.
I felt the darkness lift.
I then read a re-posting over at BlogNosh of one of Heather’s posts. More humor. More laughing.
This tragedy that has befallen the Spohrs is unfathomable. No question.
However.
I am pretty sure that the best way to honor that sweet girl would not to spend my days worrying about the “what-ifs” and being sad in the company of my children. Instead, I need to love them to the best of my ability and revel in their awesomeness. Life is too short to worry about tomorrow. I need to rejoice in today.
And today? Is pretty awesome.
I’d apologize for the plethora of photos, but I don’t want to.
I have been hugging each of my children closer than I usually do. Make sure you do the same.
If you feel led, please make a donation to the March for Babies instead of sending flowers. Meghan at “A Mom Two Boys” has some great photos and links of people posting about Maddie.
10 Comments
I have MISSED your outdoor (non-snow) photography!!
Having only heard of Heather, I found myself reading page after page of her archives yesterday (night shift = a lot of time on my hands). I was so sad and my heart was so heavy as I read about her beautiful little girl. It’s unfathomable the pain they’re going through – I don’t even want to imagine losing one of my children. It’s not a fun thought (obviously).
I have been smothering my children since I heard about Maddie. They haven’t been complaining. Yet.
Jen’s last blog post..Where did you go?
Comment by Jen on April 9th, 2009 @ 4:56 amSo well said. I think my kids are getting sick of me loving on them, but I’m not quite ready to stop just yet.
Sue @ My Party of 6’s last blog post..One of our own
Comment by Sue @ My Party of 6 on April 9th, 2009 @ 8:02 amWe are the proud owners of one of those same monkeys and I still haven’t figured out how to use it properly. Plus it’s now buried in the toy box somewhere…
I’m definitely hugging and kissing my children more in the last couple of days. I can’t imagine what Maddie’s parents are going through…
Elaine’s last blog post..Daily Grommet & A CUTE Giveaway
Comment by Elaine on April 9th, 2009 @ 8:13 amSo hearbreaking…there are so many tragedies like this…it puts life in perspective that’s for certain.
and I have to be honest, I do not get the “that’s what she said” thing. At all. But I don’t’ watch the Office either….
Kami’s last blog post..For Misty
Comment by Kami on April 9th, 2009 @ 12:37 pmI know.
I’m on spring break vacation and normally I would focus on my family, would not let this “outside” world in, but when I heard this news I immediately rushed to the coffee shop to pirate some internet and write the post you referenced above (I’m hunting and pecking this comment on my phone right now.) I SEEKED OUT this community. I needed its solace. It is not “outside” at all, but rather, inside.
I’ve been counting my blessings like crazy but I’ve felt like trumpeting them is disrespectful. Like I’m bragging in the face of loss. Your post makes me realize Heather would appreciate life going on. You’re so right about the humor. And I LOVE what Blognosh did, what my beloved community did.
Well done.
Comment by maggie, dammit on April 9th, 2009 @ 2:08 pmYou are absolutely right – life is short, and need to make the most of today. I am so very sad for your friend, although I am so pleased that she has such a great support network. My prayers will be with her & her family, too.
P.S. Gorgeous photos!!! Looks like you are finally getting some warm weather (T-shirts outdoors!), enjoy it.
Hannah’s last blog post..What I Don’t Deserve
Comment by Hannah on April 9th, 2009 @ 6:44 pmI absolutely love the colour mixture in the sidewalk chalk picture. It’s beautiful and reminds me that there is nicer weather coming (the 8 nasty inches that Mother Nature dumped Monday is almost gone, thankfully).
Did the flying monkey scream? I gave away monkeys, cows and pigs that not only flew but made noises, two years ago for Christmas. And where did I find them…a “teacher” store of course! 
I completely agree with you about the coming together of the virtual community, the support Maddie’s parents feel must be awesome in light of such a shocking tragedy.
Amanda’s last blog post..The World of Blog
Comment by Amanda on April 9th, 2009 @ 7:36 pmI am constantly amazed this week by the Internet and the outpouring of love and support. It makes you remember what is really important in life.
Kristabella’s last blog post..Broken
Comment by Kristabella on April 10th, 2009 @ 2:01 pmThere is nothing as extreme as the loss of a child. My heart goes out to the Sphors.
http://muddybootsblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/happy-birthday-nathaniel.html
Amy @ Muddy Boots’s last blog post..i think i just threw up in my mouth a little
Comment by Amy @ Muddy Boots on April 12th, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
Death is always an option my friend.
Maddie’s passing was a reminder of that. Death asks no permission, does not care what age. It sees no boundaries.
Hug those you love and seek joy where you can. Life is short and love is the only balm to ease the pain of death.
Trust me.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Wishing On Every Star
Comment by Redneck Mommy on April 9th, 2009 @ 4:20 am