I am not a quitter. It goes against my very being.
I have been blessed/cursed with a work ethic that is almost unrealistic. I have tried to take it down a notch for sanity’s sake, but that has still left me in the realm of what the average person would call “Borderline Crazy”.
In addition to this Work Ethic of Epic Proportions, I am a People Pleaser. A great combination all around. Not for me, per se, but for everybody on the receiving end. They truly get the sweet end of the deal.
I have been teaching myself to let go a little. To let go of the things that are no longer a joy in my life. To let go of the things that burden me, that weigh me down. I want to travel light.
Some things I will never let go of. My faith, my marriage, my family. They are non-negotiable, and worth every ounce of effort to keep them active, alive, and whole.
Then there are the hobbies. The things I do to challenge my creative side. To help me reconnect with the me that is not a wife, nor a mother, nor a friend. To a place where I am just Angella. Connected to my Creator and just being who I was created to be.
I enjoy these hobbies. The one that has taken the forefront lately has been photography. On that summer day when I learned the manual settings on my camera, I was beyond excited. I wanted to share what I was learning (in English) with those that were still stuck in the Automatic settings. Thus Foto Friday was born.
At first, it was all I could do to keep from posting TOO MUCH. The basic knowledge! It was overwhelming!
Recently, however, I have felt like I have nothing to share for a Foto Friday post. This has been weighing heavily on me. I have felt like there are a handful of people who want to learn, and they want me to teach them. People Pleaser Angella is all out of sorts about this.
It is not that I have been stagnant on my own learning. This is definitely not the case. I have been getting intimately acquainted with my camera. I have some gigs lined up: A studio session! A few gigs assisting on landscape and wedding shoots! And then my VERY FIRST SOLO WEDDING GIG!
These things are specific, and wonderful, and time-consuming. I want to do the best job that I possibly can. Trying to wrangle a special post about them is not something that comes easily, or applies to the masses.
I have been trying to figure out what to do.
While up with Emily (and her molars) the other night (for three hours), I had some quiet time to think about everything.
Foto Friday has become a burden. The heaviness of it all weighs me down. I do not want to spend hours upon hours every week racking my brain for something to post, when I could spend those hours thinking on things that are enjoyable and edifying.
So?
I am letting it go.
It feels good to say that. To type that.
Does this mean that I will not be honing my skills? NO. Does this mean that I will not continue to challenge myself and to work on being the best photographer that I can be? NO. Does this mean that there will never be another Foto Friday?
Not necessarily.
I will likely still write the occasional post. When and if I feel led. It could be next month or it could be next week.
On this here site I want to write about what is on my heart and not about what I perceive to be on yours. I may write about photography. I may write about what I cooked for dinner. I may write about the fact that Miss Emily has started the “fake cry”.
Yes, yes she has.
I want to travel light, and to enjoy all that this life has to offer, minus the unnecessary guilt.
Photography has given me a whole new perspective on life. I find joy in the little things. The tiny ones, even.
I see everything through eyes of love and see the beauty in the little things. I want to continue to hone these skills and reap the rewards of the joy it brings me.
I used to think that holding onto all of the little things meant that I would have more in my life. I have come to realize that letting go of the things that wear you down only free you to fill your life to an abundance of joy. From little comes much.
Care to join me?
(Excuse (or don’t) the plethora of photos that I am posting of my amazing, cantankerous, phenomenal children. They embody every part of joy and beauty and faith that I can only hope to achieve.)
***
***
***
***
***
***
37 Comments
Sometimes you don’t even realize what a a burden something is until you either have to or choose to let it go.
And sometimes it is helpful to let things “rest” a bit - kind of a trial “letting go”.
There is a huge difference between “quitting” and “letting go”…
Ann from Montana’s last blog post..Sunset
Comment by Ann from Montana on April 4th, 2008 @ 2:37 amI would hate to have what I’m doing for fun become a burden. Wise of you to let it go.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Hubris, it Bites Your Hind End
Comment by witchypoo on April 4th, 2008 @ 3:55 amI am all for letting go….Amen. No one needs to live life with so many burdens. Especially if it is something that we have put upon ourself.
I’m a firm believer that once a hobby turns into something that weighs us down or affects us in a negative way, it’s time to step back, bow out, and exit stage left.
Randi’s last blog post..Big Boy Bed?.
Comment by Randi on April 4th, 2008 @ 4:22 amLetting go is a hard thing to do. Be proud that you were able to do this for yourself. Too often those of us that are mommies do not do things that we want, we put our children and others first. Kudos to you for doing what makes you happy on your blog. We come here for you and your amazing personality, photos, humor and writing. . . and will continue to no matter what.
TheAngelForever’s last blog post..Visiting with Mimi - a fun afternoon
Comment by TheAngelForever on April 4th, 2008 @ 5:59 amI love how you re-evaluate things in your life to put your family, your kids and yourself priority.
I’m a people pleaser too..and much to my husband’s encouragement…I too am trying to let go. Of all the perceived “obligations” that I have so I have more time to focus on what’s important.
Thank you for this. I need to reexamine some things once again.
Lisa’s last blog post..Imported Chocolate? Yessireebob!
Comment by Lisa on April 4th, 2008 @ 6:10 amgood for you…. we all need to put what is important to us first and what we think others want 2nd. Sure, there are exceptions to that but we must fully enjoy what we do on a daily basis and nourish it with more of what we love, not what we think we should love. Does that make sense?
I have to let go of a few things too…..
Holly’s last blog post..Double Ack, I’ve Been Tagged: Part II
Comment by Holly on April 4th, 2008 @ 6:52 amAngella, I am so happy for you! For one, you are going to do what you love! Take photos of the happiest day in two peoples lives. YAY FOR YOU!
And?
You are not feeling obligated to keep up Foto Friday. And you shouldn’t. Not even a little bit. Those of us who want to learn cannot rely on you to teach us. 
Have fun doing all it is that makes you happy dear friend!
Kami’s last blog post..Forsaken
Comment by Kami on April 4th, 2008 @ 7:05 amThanks for the reminder of the importance of letting go, and putting priorities first!
Comment by JennyL on April 4th, 2008 @ 7:12 amYou’re still Superwoman! 
songsinblue’s last blog post..Word to Your Mother
Don’t sweat it! Just tell People Please Ange to crack open a Diet Coke and make some cards and realize that people love her for WHO she is, not what she does. She’ll feel better then.
Amanda Brown’s last blog post..What’s Up, Shortstuff?
Wow, that photograph of the flower is one of the best I’ve seen from you. Beautiful!
Marcie’s last blog post..Land of Confusion
Comment by Marcie on April 4th, 2008 @ 8:06 amGood for you, Angella. Wishing you and your wonderful kids a happy weekend!
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Hot Spot
Comment by Elizabeth on April 4th, 2008 @ 8:23 amgood for you! you have to do what works for you, miss!
ali’s last blog post..a story and a video?
Your blog, your rules! That is all.
bethany actually’s last blog post..All in a day’s work
GREAT IDEA!!!
I love your Foto Fridays, but I do not like being burdened and I do not want you to feel that way either. I’m glad that you are letting go! I am a people pleaser too and sometimes it is WAY too stressful and it takes away valuable time from my family. It is not worth it.
And I will still come and read every day whether you post Foto Fridays or not! I learn from you, the everyday you, not just your FFs.
Jen’s last blog post..Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid
Comment by Jen on April 4th, 2008 @ 8:56 amReally, there are only so many photography topics you can cover, and I think you’ve covered them all quite well. Blogging is a hobby for you, so if Foto Fridays is stressing you out, you really do need to just let it go. Good for you! You did a great job of explaining beginner’s photography.
Perhaps as a subsitute for Foto Friday, you can post some cool photos on Fridays and just explain how you did it (what lens, what f-stop, what shutter speed, etc.) Then, if any photography-minded people want to know more, they can just ask. And maybe you could ask readers to send you their own photos and post those as well.
One thing I will say is that as a photography student, the thing that was most useful to me, besides learning how to use the manual settings on my camera, was the class critiques. Each week, the students in my class would bring in a selection of photos on a variety of topics and we would all look at them and gave our feedback. 90% of the feedback was very positive, but we’d also point out what could have been done better in the photo. Though it was a bit hard to hear sometimes, it ultimately made me much a better photographer.
Anyway, you need to do what’s good for you. And as long as we get to see your amazing photos still, I know your readers will be happy
Keep things fluid… life (and a blog!!) is a work in progress. Go with what feels right!
LVGurl’s last blog post..One post, many obsolete titles
Comment by LVGurl on April 4th, 2008 @ 9:28 amGood for you! I have appreciated your Foto Fridays for all that I’ve been able to learn from you, but I totally agree. If it’s burdensome, it’s not worth it to keep it going.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Sharon’s last blog post..The hockey season is over
Comment by Sharon on April 4th, 2008 @ 10:41 amWell I’m new around here and don’t know any better so I won’t miss Foto Fridays though I will go and sift through the archives. I must confess that I often rely on the automatic settings but shoot in raw and go back and manipulate to my liking in photoshop. Have a lovely non-foto Friday!
Shalet’s last blog post..Boys will be boys?
Comment by Shalet on April 4th, 2008 @ 12:24 pmGood for you!
The fake cry sucks. The first couple time it is kinda funny, (I didn’t actually laugh when Marin did it, that would be bad and only encourage it), but now it is so NOT funny! It really requires me to work on my patients. I am much more patient than I used to be!
Wonderful pics of you wonderful kiddos! I really like the editing you did on the pics of Graham.
Kristin’s last blog post..What the April?
Comment by Kristin on April 4th, 2008 @ 12:37 pmI think everyone should feel “led” when it comes to blogging. It defeats the whole purpose if it feels like a chore. My blogging definitely comes in spurts where I feel like writing and then there are times where I feel very ambivalent about the whole thing. I just go with the flow.
180/360’s last blog post..The Capper
Comment by 180/360 on April 4th, 2008 @ 1:16 pmWow! Graham is looking so grown up…..I really enjoyed your post today. It makes me want to take a good look at my life and my priorities. You seem to have such a clear picture and I think I am just cramming things in wherever I can fit them! I was hoping to see you today at biblestudy but (of course) Ben has developed another nasty cold as of yesterday so I couldn’t come…..I think next week if they are not well I will have my Mom watch the kids so I can come. I really do miss it!
Comment by Tamara on April 4th, 2008 @ 1:18 pmI’m new here. The kids always look so serious in black and white don’t they. (Great photos.)
For what it’s worth. (Not much.) I think as a whole bloggers we should blog more for us than anyone else. If it tickles your fancy do it, otherwise don’t.
Nat’s last blog post..Tom Thompson came paddling past
Comment by Nat on April 4th, 2008 @ 2:04 pmGood for you, Angella! I wish I could let go too…you know, things like doing my hair, showering, washing my car, filling up with gas, all those little things that take up so much time. Haha. But seriously, thats awesome.
Alexandria’s last blog post..Worst Night Ever, to date.
Comment by Alexandria on April 4th, 2008 @ 2:11 pmThat is true LIBERATION! Love your pictures they are gorgeous they inspire me to take up photography but at the moment just seems like to much work to learn I will have to stick with the point and shoot for now. You should put that picture of the rose on your etsy shop.
I think there’s a lot to be said about a person’s strength of character when they know enough to say just that….enough. I appreciate that you haven’t written if off completely, but I respect your motivation. You know I love your photography (each room in my home will have an Angella Original in about a week!) so I appreciate any and all tidbits you share, but I certainly understand your feelings. So for now? Just keep clicking away and sharing your talent through pictures. That will keep us coming back each and every time. Not to mention you writing…
The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..This is the part where Angella said, Would you like some free chocolate? and where I was like, well duh.
Comment by The Over-Thinker on April 4th, 2008 @ 5:16 pmGreat post Ang, it is important to see what we need to let go of…(Easier said then done - I know!!!) Foto Friday was great but it is definately more important to be blogging about things you want to, not stuff you “have” to. I, along with many others will still be here, reading your posts and looking at your amazing photographs.
And, your own wedding gig? Nice!
Comment by Michele on April 4th, 2008 @ 6:03 pmOh my goodness, Graham looks so grown up in those shots!
Good for you on letting go. I’m a people pleaser too and I can imagine just how hard that is for you. Good choice Angella!
Robyn’s last blog post..Care Bearivorous
Comment by Robyn on April 5th, 2008 @ 1:26 amGreat choice … I have a burden too … blog365!
Great photos
mommyknows’s last blog post..MommyKnows - Rocky Mountain Soap Company Giveaway!
That flower shot? no words…
Really, how can one say about it all before it’s a bit redundant anyhow? I like the idea of posting an occasional foto friday if you learn something really new and exciting.
Feels good to prioritze no?
christy’s last blog post..Sneek Peek.
Comment by christy on April 5th, 2008 @ 12:50 pmI feel ya! I too am a people pleaser and have recently decided to let go of some things when it comes to blogging because things got too overwhelming and I was on the computer all the time. As much as I love it, I need to make sure I don’t lose touch with my real life friends and family as well.
It’s hard to do but so worth it sometimes!
Kristabella’s last blog post..Bacon. It’s What’s For Snarking.
Comment by Kristabella on April 5th, 2008 @ 3:28 pmdear db
learning to say “no” is so hard to do—we each only have some much time each and we should spend it well
remember when life closes in you can get a “bike” and become “motorcycle mama” and ride off into the sunset
Beautifully said!
Yup..I love this post!
Anna’s last blog post..Rambling on
Comment by Anna on April 5th, 2008 @ 4:28 pmBeautiful post! (Except for at the beginning I was afraid you were going to say you were giving up your blog!) Great job keeping this to what is right for you. And I learn just from looking at your photographs. (So keep posting those, pretty please :-))
Sue’s last blog post..All Is Well
Comment by Sue on April 5th, 2008 @ 6:59 pmWay to go for taking the big leap and letting go. I enjoyed your Foto Friday posts, but certainly don’t want them to be a burden! Honestly, looking at your photos is truly the hilight, and I’m sure that’ll continue now that you’ve lightened your load:):)
Erin’s last blog post..I’m a tarheel born?
Comment by Erin on April 6th, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
Sometimes it takes more guts to “let go” than it does to hold on. Funny you should post this, actually. I have just had to “let go” of something myself. Totally different kind of letting go, but important and necessary all the same. Feeling so good about the burden being lifted is confirmation that you have done the right thing for YOU. And that’s important!
Congrats on the wedding gig - that is awesome!
Hannah’s last blog post..Kid stuff
Comment by Hannah on April 4th, 2008 @ 1:34 am