I, like most women I know, have struggled with body issues.  I have written about my journey to fat and back where I shared the eating habits I use to keep my weight in check.  I wrote a letter to my body. I grappled with my body image in a post that I titled “Thinner“. This is not really news.

This issue has come to the forefront again because I have derailed in my quest for a healthy body.

It started when I was attending a Step Boot Camp in the spring.  I would come home and justify that because I had just worked out I was entitled to eat a handful (or five) of chips.

Chips (and appetizers) are my downfall.  I love me some salty goodness. Chips,  pretzels, crackers and cheese (or anything else). If there is a function where a buffet of appetizers are offered I can be seen stuffing my face, all wild-eyed and crazy-like. GIVE ME THE APPIES!

Chocolate does not have the same effect on me. I bake cookies, banana/zucchini bread/brownies and such for Matthew and the kids and it does not tempt me in the least. It all sits on the counter and I could honestly care less.

Open a bag of Doritos, however, and I am like a moth to a flame.  Do you remember that scene in A Bug’s Life when the fly is drawn to the bug zapper and is told to stay away from the light?  I feel the same way.  I go into a trance and say, “I…can’t…help…it…

I am usually pretty good at keeping the craving in check. I make myself be good Sunday through Thursday. Friday and/or Saturday is when I get to eat nachos and other tasty goodness. If Matthew and I go on a date night there is no way on earth that I am eating SALAD. That is just wrong. And also, no fun.

The boot camp ended at the end of June but my chip consumption did not. I tried to work out at home but the two DVD’s I had were lame and boring. Throw in a trip to San Francisco, a trip to Vancouver, work, company, LIFE…and my workouts were non-existent. The chips were still ever-present. There also may or may not have been an extra cocktail or two per night.

I stepped on the scale a few weeks ago and was disheartened to see that I had gained five pounds. Shut up. Five pounds is a lot in my world. It means that while my jeans still fit, there is a little extra somethin’ somethin’ around the middle (Top o’ the muffin to you!)

I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I got my eating back on track and am happy report that after two weeks I am down three pounds (half a muffin).

I considered doing a cleanse that a friend is doing, but the only difference between my normal low fat/low carb diet was that I would have to give up dairy and Diet Coke. I could go without the dairy but no DC?  I’m already depriving myself of many tasty treats. Giving up Diet Coke is just crazy talk.

The fall session of step boot camp started last night and I am walking like I just went horseback riding feel AWESOME.  I also ordered the 30 Day shred on the weekend to augment my two nights of boot camp. The purchase was based on Twitters by Linda, Whoorl, Heather B, and Mona. (Did I miss you? Are you shredding? What can you tell me? WILL I DIE???)

I know that I will never be one of those wee people who wear a size zero; my broad shoulders and child-bearing hips have blown that ideal out of the water.  And then sent heat-seeking missiles to make sure the dream is really dead. I truly want to be healthy and fit. A role model for my children so that they can make good lifestyle choices as well (most of the time).

Are you doing anything to better your body? And tips you would like to share?

(PS – If you see me stalking a buffet of appetizers or holding a bag of chips, I give you total authority to give me a full body tackle.  I will repay you with my undying love.  You are also welcome to take the chips if you so choose.)

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Comments:

  1. bethany actually September 16, 2008 1:18 am edit

    Hmm, I should be doing lots of things for my body that I am currently NOT doing, like getting enough sleep, eating fewer baked treats (totally your opposite on THAT one), actually working out more than once a month, and finally losing the baby weight from the child who’s old enough for preschool.

    What I am doing right is eating out less and eating a wide variety of fruits and veggies and whole grains. I might eat more than my share of cupcakes, but most of everything else I eat is good for me!

    bethany actually’s last blog post..Not according to plan

  2. witchypoo September 16, 2008 1:35 am edit

    Since I have cheese issues, most kind of salty unhealthy things are a no-no for me. Unless I want to suffer. Ice cream, same deal.
    My lack of activity makes my small portion sizes a moot point, and muffin top becomes a bowl of rising dough.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Meh

  3. Michele September 16, 2008 1:52 am edit

    But why does food have to be sooooo good? It baffles me…

  4. Hannah September 16, 2008 3:35 am edit

    Well done!! You know about my weight loss journey as I blog about it every week and bore you all to tears! But I’m inspired by people like you, so thanks!! :-)

    Hannah’s last blog post..I’m a Crafty Tart!

  5. Elaine September 16, 2008 5:34 am edit

    Oh my golly, you totally cracked me up with “Top ‘o the muffin to you!” HA HA HA!!

    I have the opposite weakness – sweets. I can pass up Doritos anyday but chocolate and treats is an ENTIRELY different story.

    But, I am currently working out and trying SO hard to not be tempted so we can support each other. Go Angella!!

    Elaine’s last blog post..So Far This Week is Better

  6. Trophy Wife September 16, 2008 5:45 am edit

    My struggle is with any chocolate what so ever…and I’m not talking about dark chocolate…i’m sayin, the GOOD tasting kind! I have tried boot camp but it didn’t fit my schedule. I joined the gym but I’m the customer they truly appreciate: The one that pays the dues and never shows up. What has really worked for me: The Wii Fit. No kidding! It really is a good work out and it’s fun!!
    Good luck!!!

  7. angella September 16, 2008 5:47 am edit

    I have heard good things about the Wii fit! We don’t have a Wii (Gasp!) because Matthew did not want to have video games in the house…but we (Kids included) played Wii bowling at a friend’s the other day and we had a lot of fun.

    We might get one for Christmas…

  8. slynnro September 16, 2008 5:52 am edit

    I WAS doing the shred, but I had to stop because my knees hurt so bad I can barely walk. Which sucks because it is a great workout.

    slynnro’s last blog post..Weekend Update: Wedding Edition

  9. ali September 16, 2008 6:12 am edit

    i gained the same 5 pounds this summer. it was a killer. and chips! apps! me too! love ‘em. can’t say no!

    tell me more about the SHRED. i want to know! i want to do it!

  10. Janssen September 16, 2008 6:13 am edit

    I too am far more tempted by salty than I am by sweet. I’m so tempted to list out the six bazillion salty foods that make me drool, but I’ll save us all that unfortunate episode.

    Janssen’s last blog post..Authors

  11. Jen September 16, 2008 6:43 am edit

    First of all, I have to say this. I might sound like the preachy mother of the blogosphere but this part of your post stuck out to me:

    “I know that I will never be one of those wee people who wear a size zero; my broad shoulders and child-bearing hips have blown that ideal out of the water”

    Is zero really your “ideal”? I hope not. I can’t think of a single grown woman who is a size zero and is in a normal weight range and looks healthy. I’m sure there are some out there but geez … that’s really too skinny.

    I think you look great Angella and think that if you feel like losing those 5 lbs, of course, go for it. But I definitely don’t feel like we should all be striving for zero.

    Now to answer your actually question and get off my soap box. ;)

    I’m trying to lose 5-10 lbs (which, by the way, will likely end me up in a size 6, maybe even just more comfortable in my 8s). I am going to try out Weight Watchers again, just more as a means of eating consciously. I also plan to add a bit more exercise routine. Yoga, walking, biking and my dear old Carmen Electra Fit to Strip videos. :)

  12. Jen September 16, 2008 6:44 am edit

    Oh yeah, and you are lucky that you don’t like the sweets. I have a sweet tooth and a salt tooth and an everything-else-that-I -see tooth. ;)

  13. angella September 16, 2008 7:10 am edit

    Oops – I think I used the wrong choice of words! Size zero is not *my* ideal, but I think it is what society seems to push on women.

    My personal ideal is to lose the muffin and be toned, regardless of clothing size :)

  14. sizzle September 16, 2008 7:45 am edit

    This is the second body image post I read this morning. The universe is telling me something!

    sizzle’s last blog post..Time Out

  15. Emily September 16, 2008 8:00 am edit

    I never really end up commenting anymore because I’m suddenly all about google reader… but the SHRED! Ohhh I love it!

    I felt kind of corny doing an exercise dvd in my living room but it fully kicked my butt. Jillian is a great trainer and it doesn’t feel like you spend any time on it at all!

  16. Amanda Brown September 16, 2008 8:16 am edit

    You know I am walking this same path with you, though with about 1/100th of the discipline you demonstrate. You have worked so hard to maintain a healthy weight so I totally understand how gaining 5 pounds would be frustrating, but you KNOW you’ve got the drive and tools to lose it. For the record, you do look very toned and I have seen nary a hint o’ muffin top. :)

    Amanda Brown’s last blog post..Sisters

  17. hills September 16, 2008 8:36 am edit

    what is this shred that you speak of?

    hills’s last blog post..So I’m Watching The Weather Channel

  18. Maria September 16, 2008 8:48 am edit

    *drools thinking of Cooler Ranch Doritos*

    Maria’s last blog post..Blogging 101

  19. Sharon September 16, 2008 10:16 am edit

    I’m a fan of the chips and appies too. I am a runner, and was doing awesome up until about June, when I fell off the bandwagon. There was too much to do, I was preparing for my trip, yadda yadda. I lost about 10 pounds while I was out of the country, but I know I’ve gained it all back again.

    I’ve made a goal to do at least two 10k runs next year, and have promised myself (and my BFF, who is going to keep me accountable) that I’m going to be running 3x a week until my clinic starts up in the new year.

    I’m going to be posting about this later today on my blog, so I can have more people to bust my ass if I don’t get back into the running and healthier eating.

    Thanks for the reminder to keep at it and get healthy!

    Sharon’s last blog post..Going to the chapel? complete with pictures!

  20. Meg September 16, 2008 11:55 am edit

    I try to eat lots of fruits and veggies, while getting healthy amounts of protein and dairy, etc.
    I find smoothies a really good way to get a lot of fruits into me, and they’re usually pretty tasty too! Yesterday I even added flavoured tofu! (Coconut dessert-style!)
    I also try to go to the gym, but that hasn’t happened lately.

  21. Meg September 16, 2008 11:58 am edit

    PS I think you look fabulous in all your pics, especially for being a mommy of 3-under-6!!!

  22. Rebecca (Bearca) September 16, 2008 1:11 pm edit

    Uh, I’m reading this after eating a giant Mexican food lunch and a 20 oz. Diet Coke (and I’m with you on that, YOU CAN PRY MY DIET COKE OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS.)

    But good for you, Angella! I need to get on the Shred bandwagon in a big way. I’ve got the leftover mommy gut from being pregnant that really needs to get lost.

    Rebecca (Bearca)’s last blog post..cocktails, anyone?

  23. Elisa September 16, 2008 1:21 pm edit

    I SO hear you. You know what is keeping me on track with my eating? The fact that I am participating to a Twitter challenge and I have to Twitter everything I eat. I tell you, when I am bout to reach for the chips or ice cream, I remember I will have to share the fact that I cheated and with what, and it helps me reach for water or fruit instead. It totally works! Carmel and Angie at WDF are holding it, and they are so supportive!

    Elisa’s last blog post..MIA: Blogroll

  24. Heather September 16, 2008 1:23 pm edit

    I want to lose 10 pounds or so, but I love me the salty snacks as well. And given my hubby’s work schedule I am always eating later than I should. People are always shocked to hear just how much I weight. I hear “Wow, you are so tall and hold your weight so well” Ugh, I want to get rid of the muffin top as well. Now I just need discipline and motivation.

    Heather’s last blog post..Teaching our girls that time=money

  25. Kami September 16, 2008 4:39 pm edit

    Well, since I have taken a dive off the proverbial treadmill I am on track to gain 5 lbs…but I asked, politely of course, that my trainer kick me in the butt today.

    She did.

    And I now have to email her my week’s workouts for some accountability. Or she will kick my butt harder.

    She’s nice like that.

    ;-)

    I struggle too with body image issues and while I have never been overweight, I have been heavier than is healthy for my body…I know this because I had no energy and ate a lot of things that were not healthy for me. Being active and eating right just makes me feel healthy. Therefore I must. But I get lazy and cheat.

    And I am still laughing at the top of the muffin to you! Good one Ange!

    Kami’s last blog post..Fall, maybe it’s not so bad

  26. gorillabuns September 16, 2008 4:50 pm edit

    I’m pregnant therefore, I’m definitely not losing weight though, i have to admit, not drinking alcohol and being quite dead-ass broke is helping me not gain much weight. Hopefully, when this baby is born, I’ll be be where I started. THEN I can obsess about how I’m going to pay for my tummy tuck.

  27. Kate September 16, 2008 5:04 pm edit

    Love, love, love 30-Day Shred!

    Yes, it will hurt.

    And yes, you will die.

    But it is SOOOOO worth it (I usually hate “sooooo” but in this case am completely justified!) You may just learn to love your butt/bum/hiney again!

    Kate’s last blog post..It Positively Hurt

  28. The Over-Thinker September 16, 2008 5:16 pm edit

    OMG, if you survive the shred and live to tell about it, I’m really going to look forward to that post. Seriously, I am afraid—their twits scared me! I freaked out! But nothing that couldn’t be calmed by a bowl of chips. :)

    I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I’ve been “off the diet wagon” for five days, plus I have my period, so I’m experiencing “Top of the SIDE OF BEEF, to you!!”…..time to get back on track. I’ll do it with you!

    The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Deep Thoughts….by The Over-Thinker

  29. Amanda Franks September 16, 2008 7:20 pm edit

    My downfall is late night snacking. So now when I put the kids to bed I plan a snack for myself. Like two of those halloween size caramilks and a cup of tea, or whatever. Then I don’t come downstairs on the hunt for a snack. It’s helped out hugely.

    I will also give you a general, all out push, in the direction of the Wii and WiiFit. It’s awesome. I could go on forever. But it’s not like a video game at all. It’s realy interaction with other people. The system is awesome, and to keep it from becoming a video game just choose the games that suit what you want out of it. The best. purchase. ever.

  30. Becky September 16, 2008 7:47 pm edit

    We got a Wii this summer, and I just found the Fit today. So far so good. The real trick is going to be actually working out when the kids are around – they’re going to want to bowl and box when I turn it on.

    I also need to start eating healthier, and less. If I don’t slow down, I’m going to blow up like a balloon as my son starts moving on to solids!

  31. Rhi September 17, 2008 10:24 am edit

    I bought Shred. It is sitting atop my entertainment center. Miguelina is doing it too.

    Rumor has it though, you have to DO the video to achieve results. Bah!

    Rhi’s last blog post..Things you should go look at

  32. LVGurl September 17, 2008 10:32 am edit

    I’m wrapping up my TRI training after a race the end of this month. I swim 2500-3500 meters twice a week, run 60-90 minutes twice a week, and bike 2-3 hours twice a week.

    This weekend, I begin marathon training for a race in January.

    I’m nuts.

    LVGurl’s last blog post..One fire, many irons

  33. Kristin September 17, 2008 2:06 pm edit

    I am a shredding queen. It’s amazing. You see changes in 2 weeks – I have my whole family hooked. I can only give 20 minutes to work out so this fits my schedule to a T. Plus you have variety of 3 different workouts.

  34. Heather September 17, 2008 3:00 pm edit

    I feel your 5 pound muffin pain. I have plans! Plans that DQ derails on a regular basis. However, in my case, for once in my life, this is not getting me down. I’m okay with myself. I will lose the muffin and still be me in the process. It sounds like you’re not crazy either. Just getting back into the routine. Take care!

  35. Holly September 17, 2008 4:33 pm edit

    I treat myself but don’t overdo it. I work out at the gym and all the training walks I’ve been doing for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer really helped too. NOW…. this was all in the summer mind you with sunny blue skies and gorgeous temps. Things will be a little more challenging with the snowflakes start to fly but I know that if I fall off the wagon too far I’ll get run over by it and feel like crap. Just try and stay a bit above the wheels and you’ll be a-okay!!! :)

  36. She Likes Purple September 18, 2008 2:55 pm edit

    I’m behind on blogs!

    I love (LOVE) that picture at the beginning of this post. It’s stunning.

    Also, right now I’m doing little to better my overall physique except eating more carbs than I ever thought I could manage. Baby wants carbs like you wouldn’t believe. But I technically haven’t gained any weight this pregnancy (yet). I am slowly roping it in, eating a lot more apples and veggies and fewer donuts. I let myself have a donut now and again, but I’m trying to be more responsible so the last half of this pregnancy is an easier transition to FULL LOSE-THE-FAT MODE that will hit come February. And Linda and her 30-day shred body is totally one of my inspirations!

    She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Texas, I’d Forgive You For Your Horrible Weather if You Would Start Offering Me Tim-Bits

  37. mitch of garden furniture September 19, 2008 12:42 am edit

    I really wanted to lose weight, but our family loves to eat. I also couldn’t resist chocolates.

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