I am beyond overwhelmed, friends. I have taken on too much work (again) because at the time I thought I may be out of work completely. But no. I have a job. Plus the second job I took on to cover for the first job, if only in a small way. Then there is the freelance work that I love and, well. I live in a perpetual state of chest-tightening and I don’t particularly like it. I’d have said so earlier but have you ever had a comment sear into your head and make you wonder if maybe you should just shut up already?
A few months ago, while in the throes of Tax Season, I vented about how crazy everything was. You guys were so encouraging and then I got this comment.
Eh. We’re all busy. It’s life.
It was from someone I’ve met and with who I have common friends with. It weirded me out a little. Apparently I can only write about sunshine and roses and, if I’m lucky, unicorns! I am not allowed to write how busy I am because it’s life.
Wait. Yes. It’s life. It’s my life. And it’s BUSY. Maybe it is my fault because I have not communicated how busy I actually am.
I am married. Happily married, even. To be happily married, that involves spending time with your spouse. Conversations and Date Nights and curling up on the couch together, oh my!
I have three children. Yes, I am going to pull the Three Children card because I KNOW that one child is hard. I also know that having a second child (TWENTY MONTHS LATER) somehow triples the time commitment. Having a third child (in under four years, for the record) brings that love and time commitment to a whole new level. There is homework and reading and baths and hurts and achievements and so much more. So very much more. I want to be the best Mom I can be for these little beings and that takes time.
This might be a good time to throw out that between soccer and ballet, our Saturdays have been a gong show.
I have a full-time job. Forty hours a week, plus commuting (an hour per day)(Including lunch hour, I’m away from home fifty hours a week). I took on extra work when all was up in the air. It’s about ten hours a week. Mostly on the weekends. When we have soccer/ballet(Which is now done! HOORAY)/church, etc.
I also have regular writing commitments at Work It!Mom, Life Made Delicious and The Bad Moms Club.
Fitness is a regular part of my life, which includes two hours of Boot Camp a week, plus The Running. I could cut that out but exercise helps me burn off stress and keep me balanced so, no. Not an option.
With all that I have going on right now it would be so easy to decline anything else but all work and no play IS NO FUN WHATSOEVER. So, on Friday night, I donned a new dress that I bought with a gift card that I’d had burning in my wallet since Christmas.
I went out for dinner with four of my loveliest ladies.
We ate lettuce wraps and watched the hockey game and shared random stories and then walked through the downtown core. For a girl who has been struggling with the “fight or flight” response lately, this little flight took the edge off.
Sunday night was Volunteer Appreciation Night at our church and the staff arranged for Leland Klassen to put on a show and I laughed harder than I have in a very, very long time. My favorite part was when I said I was “Mr. Matt’s wife” (what the Sunday School kids and parents call Matthew) and he ran with it. So, so great. Taking the time out to watch his show meant that I had to stay up until midnight to get my contract work done but it was worth it. That laughter was much needed.
The chest tightening is here to stay, I think, at least until my extra contract ends on July 8th. On top of all that I mentioned above we have end of school year stuff, soccer finals and my brother’s wedding. For which I’m the wedding photographer. Yes. Yes, I am.
It’s my life and while I love it but The Busy could come down a notch or five. This will happen in July – we will be spending almost a week at Cannon Beach and we will be doing nothing but playing and reading and hanging out. Or, just sleeping the entire week. That sounds pretty great right about now.
Yeah, it’s frustrating to have someone else belittle our craziness, and yet also to have them amplify it. I hear (repeatedly) “your crazy life” when referring to my life. Sometimes I just want to shout “Hey! Leave me alone… I like the things that I do, thankyouverymuch.” Then other days… I feel differently (I do not enjoy some of the more stressing parts and wish that I could get. rid. already!).
Deep breath. You are amazing and you can totally do it!
Sending you a big hug.
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(and it’s only 1:32am, not 2:32am)
*ahem* that just might explain those secondarily-mentioned days, you think?
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Hee. Probably.
Hugs back atcha, friend.
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It’s so not fair for another person to tell you that just because everyone else is busy, YOU are not allowed to talk about being busy. I’ve even witnessed blog and Facebook “conversations” which were basically just arguments about who was busier. Wow, let’s all do that, because it’s soooooo beneficial. NOT.
I get you. I totally, totally get you.
Breathe deep, relax those chest muscles, feel God’s presence, and remember that you are loved! You can do this! And remember to say “no” sometimes, to those sneaky little “extra” things that crop up (and aren’t important in the big scheme of things).
HUGS xx
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:30 pm
I’ve been learning to say no. It’s HARD. But good.
xoxo
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Obviously, I find myself nodding along TO ALL OF THIS.
Unfortunately, I fear the busy is here to stay…at least until the kids go off to college. So, we can just commiserate together, eh?
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Indeed.
This is why we are such good friends, Miss Ali.
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I am in awe of mom’s who work full-time (and then some, in your case!). I took on some extra hours for 6 weeks (which just ended) and it was still only around 25-30 30hours a week and I just about went crazy. So what you are doing is impressive. It is hard. Glad to read you have a bit of an end in sight as well as a much deserved vacation. Cannon Beach is beautiful!
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:32 pm
It’s my Happy Place. 34 days!
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There is pretty much nothing a week at the beach can’t cure.
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
AMEN.
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Imagine how much “free time” you’ll have this summer when you’re “only” working one job! (Oh, plus the freelance stuff.)
The busy times suck, they really do, but I always find a new appreciation for my “old busy life” when the super-SUPER-busy periods are over. You’ll get through it! I’m looking forward to reading about your time spent at the lake with your kiddos instead of in the office. 
I feel like my head’s spinning even though “all I’m doing” is looking after a baby and a four-year-old and most days I don’t even leave my house.
ps. I think they should call him Pastor Matthew so that you can be a pastor’s wife. Just sayin’.
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:34 pm
He has many courses until he’s a Pastor. I’m a Director’s wife. Or Mr. Matt’s wife, if you want a giggle.
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We are all busy yes, but my busy (and anyone else’s for that matter) does not out trump your busy and you are darn well entitled to write about here, my friend.
I have done the contract work you are doing and I know what that entails. What I haven’t ever done is also work full time on top of that and have three kids. SO? Cudos to you, you are a rock star!
And feeling stressed and overwhelmed and wondering how you are going to take one more day? I. can. so. relate.
So, what I am saying in a really long winded way, is….
ME TOO.
And also? xoxoxxoxoxxo
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Thanks, Kami.
I know you know.
xoxoxo
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It’s super frustrating anytime someone tries to invalidate our feelings… because they are simply that, OUR feelings. We can’t change how we feel about things, perhaps we can change choices we make and hope that has an impact but when we feel a certain way, regardless of what is going on, admitting we feel that way is 100% allowed and should be free from judgement. That’s why true friends are supportive, no matter what and regardless of what they think. We just need to keep living our lives the best way we know how and soaking up the moments that keep us going because it’s all worth it!
Apparently I had some thoughts on the subject
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Thanks for this.
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It’s your life and it’s also your blog… where you talk about your life. So you can welcome to complain a little about The Busy from time to time.
I LOVE that dress. Is it from a store that is also in the US?
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:41 pm
We talked about this on Twitter already, but no. Maybe.
I bought it at Winners, which is Canada’s version of Ross Dress For Less. The brand name is Connection.
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I think so many women out there can relate to how you’re feeling. I work full-time also, and have 2 little girls, so I know how crazy it gets. You are a wonderful inspiration to so many mamas out there! Hang in there! Brighter (less busy) days are ahead!
BTW, is that Cannon Beach, Oregon you’re going to? That’s only an hour and a half from my house! The tidepools there are enough to relax anyone.
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Yes! We’re renting the same cabin that we did last summer at Cannon Beach, Oregon. It’s one of my Happy Places.
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Oh, my friend. You could just cut out the sleeping. Who needs sleep, really?
And my oh my, you Summerland women are hot stuff.
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:44 pm
I can sleep when I’m dead. Or something.
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Your title says it all. It’s YOUR life. (And, uhh, your blog. Where you can write whatever YOU want. You can rant, you can vent, you can complain. It’s not all sunshine and unicorns, belittling commenter, geez!)
Your family holiday in July is going to be fabulous because you will have really EARNED it
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:45 pm
A-MEN. Assuming I survive.
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You are amazing. Seriously, amazing.
Don’t forget to breathe, and (though it seems you already are) take it one day at a time.
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angella Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Thank you! You are sweet.
And, I’m trying.
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I don’t have kids, but life is crazy busy! I can only imagine. I have had people say to me “you don’t know what busy is”. No, I know what it is, but maybe I don’t know what “busier” is. Anyway, this is not for me to rant, it is to be the ray of sunshine that says “You can do it Angella! Only 3 weeks until your extra contract is over!”
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I can’t imagine adding the two jobs to my schedule, and I feel busy. You’re a rockstar!
More importantly, you are perfectly justified in discussing it on your blog.
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Um… hello Superwoman!
Keep on fighting!
I mean… SuperMOM.
I mean SuperHottieMom!
Most people make excuses, and then there are others who live life to the fullest. Yes it’s hard sometimes, but the rewards are worth it!
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I’d like to know what stupid cow said that, because frankly, I’d like to kick them in the teeth.
You’re amazing, hang in there!
xox
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I absolutely loved your post! I can relate to your words on so many levels as a mom with 4 kids, a full-time job and long commute, etc. You sound like you were writing about my life. So, I took heart from your words!
I also had to giggle while reading your post because I also read another mommy blogger who acts as if she is in the same insanely busy mom boat, but SO isn’t. Are you are familiar with Amanda from mandajuice.com? I have read her blog for a very long time and lately, I have just become very… well, I guess angry is the best word to describe it. . The most recent posts she has done where she has quit/been fired from her jobs because doesn’t want work a regular job like the rest of us to earn a living that pays her bills, yet considers posting a couple blog posts a week on her personal blog a full-time job is such a joke. I thought it took a lot of nerve to then ask her readers to give her money through Paypal. I really think that chick has gone off the deep end especially after reading the most recent couple of posts her ex-husband did on his blog today (www.nightchicken.com). After reading her ex-husband’s posts, I see how low Amanda has stooped and I am floored at how she portrays herself as this busy mom and yet her ex paints a very different picture of how uninvolved she is with the kids. I am also floored at the cruel and disgusting way she talks to her ex-husband about his weight and such, but that’s another story for another day. Anyway, it just bothers me that she thinks she compares to busy moms like us who are just struggling to find 10 minutes to take a shower each day. Maybe you should put a Paypal donate button on your blog. You work so hard, you actually deserve it!
Well, thanks for your post! It helps me know that I’m not alone and encouraged me a lot!
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I’m late in responding to this but I just wanted to say that I hate when people try to do the “oh wah, you’re busy/stressed/sick/tired/etc, aren’t we all” thing. It’s not a competition and you should be allowed to vent it out when you need to.
And that sort of thing always makes me think of a moment on Ally McBeal, and I think it’s the only exchange I actually remember since it was on so long ago. Jane Krakowski’s character said to Ally, “why do you always act like your problems are bigger than anyone else’s problems?” and Ally said, “because they’re mine.” I absolutely loved that line. Yes, we all know everyone has issues but in the end of course we’re going to vent about the ones WE have.
So phooey, vent away Angella! And in the meantime, deep breaths and hang on for July 8th.
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Wow- I hadn’t been back in a while and this was the post I landed on. I wish you had said something to me as I would have tried to explain my comment. Instead, I’ll just apologize. I’m sorry for what I said. My intent was not at all what you took from it but, regardless, I am sorry.
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Kim Reply:
June 20th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Chris, I have known you for a long time and know your intent was not to criticize, compare or demean the author. You also have three kids, a very demanding job as an attorney and have run at least a dozen marathons in the last year. You of all people know what it is to be “busy” and you handle it with grace, dignity and the occasional snarky comment. There are many of us who know you for more than one comment and we are proud to have you as an honest, funny and dependable friend.
Sorry for any typos. Typing on my iPhone.
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angella Reply:
June 20th, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Thanks, Chris.
Your email address bounces back as undeliverable.
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