Do you know how there are certain moments that stick out in your mind with such distinct clarity even though years have passed and you cannot even remember what you had for dinner yesterday?
One of those moments for me consist of me sitting on the couch with a newborn baby Emily and two wee boys running around. I had three children, the oldest of which was not quite four-years old. I assessed the situation and asked myself a very important question.
“WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?”
It is not like any of these three children could be considered an accident. We knew we wanted three, we knew we wanted them to be two school grades apart, and my body had somehow complied with our desires. We had the three children, born in the order that we had hoped for. In the light of those who cannot conceive, or who lose many babies, we really had nothing to complain about. The reality of three small children so close together, however, overwhelmed me most days.
Added into the mix is the fact that babies freak me out. I love them, I revel in their newness, I soak up their silky soft skin. The babies themselves are miracles. I believe this to be true. However.
The first six months or so of my babies’ lives is nothing but a stress on me. Are they eating enough? Too much? Are they sleeping enough? Too much? Are they hungry/tired/grumpy? No book on the planet is able to answer these questions for me so I muddle around, trying to put on the aura that all is fine, when in reality I freak out about their eating patterns, their sleeping habits, the responsibility of KEEPING THEM ALIVE.
In the midst of that stage with Emily, while Nathan was in the Two’s of the Terrible and Graham was FOUR, a family friend told us that the ages of six through ten are a grace period. The toddler stage is over, your kids have abounding personality, and the teenage hormones have not kicked in. This all sounded fine and well but I was so far from that stage that it was not much of a comfort. I also did not want to wish away the Baby Years, for I knew I would miss them. I put my head down and trudged through the trenches.
Just when Emily was emerging from the Baby Danger Zone, Graham started Kindergarten. We like to refer to that year as The Year Of The Attitude Of Ginormous Proportions. My “good baby”, my “compliant child” was all of a sudden full of piss and vinegar. He talked back, he told us what we needed to be doing, he was this child that I did not know. We were told that this was normal for the Kindergarten year; for this was the very first time he was away from us for the entire day. He was being taught new things, new ideas, and being challenged to think independently. He was trying to figure out how to be a “big kid” in this family of ours.
I have been pondering my children a lot this week. We have been having a lot of fun. Graham is six now, in that magical age zone, and the Attitude of Yore seems to have dissipated. There are moments, yes, but for the most part he is back to being that baby that I knew. Full of love and compassion and a kooky sense of humor. My Mini Me. He cracks me up on an hourly basis with his wit and his startling perception of the world around him.
Nathan is four, and destined for The Year Of Attitude next year, but right now? He is this bundle of love who cannot help but hug anyone who he comes into contact with. He tells me (approximately every twenty-two minutes) that he loves me, that I am The Best Mom, that I am a Queen who needs to have a crown. It actually gets a little annoying (REALLY) but I am trying to soak it in while it lasts. For Kindergarten is coming.
And Miss Emily. Yes, she is TWO and full of all of the spirit that comes with that age, but there is something about her. People light up when they see her; they cannot help but smile, hug her, give back to her the love that she exudes. She has also been given an extra dose of the Quirky gene which is unbelievably obvious at her young age. She can thank me for that one. She has stopped wiping her crap on the couch (Huzzah!) but still needs to do her biz-nass on the toilet. We’re getting there.
This is not to say that my children do not cry when I shut off the Wii or that they do not lay on the floor kicking and screaming when I tell them that one cookie is more than enough or that I do not yell on a daily basis, “Good grief! PUT YOUR SHOES ON ALREADY”. The upside is that these instances only make up ten percent of my day.
I know that by writing this down I am destined to have a week (or three) where my children smear their dung on the couch, tell me that I am the one with a bad attitude, where they take TWENTY MINUTES TO GET THEIR SHOES ON ALREADY.
While it is far easier to rant on the days where all is bad and horrible and crazy I really do need to document the good.
I need to remind myself that despite what stage of life we are in, and despite the crazy that it sends my way…it gets better.
(PS – today is Delurking day (brainchild of Rude Cactus and Greeblemonkey) A simple hi will suffice. No need to flash me or anything.)
Huh, that link ‘CommentLuv’ picked up is really old
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Howdy! I love the photo you posted today — so cute! Parenthood is the greatest miracle and test I have ever been blessed/stressed with.
I love to read, but am usually chicken to chat, but I’ll give it a try more than once a year. 
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Hi!! Happy de-lurking day!
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Hello from Sydney Australia!
I love reading about your kids antics, and seeing the beautiful pics you take of them
Andrea’s last blog post..HP massive competition- who would I share my winnings with?
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I do pop my head up from time to time but I guess I am mostly a lurker. So, Hi!
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I love this post. It was so great to hear, I needed to hear it today.
I am not OPPOSED to babies, but I feel like I am holding on for the six year olds I know that my kids will be some day – I am really looking forward to little people, instead of babies.
You gave me hope, so thank you
Elizabeth’s last blog post..There’s Always Next Year
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Great post! I concur with you about the first 6 months being Not My Cup Of Tea. I loved & adored the age from about 8-15 months, it was just delightful. But the baby stage? I could take it or leave it. Babies are cute, but hard work.
Funny that you had the year of the attitude at age 5. We found age 5 to be wonderful, and age 6 to be more, er, difficult. It is still difficult. I wonder if it has something to do with the different school systems? Whatever the reason, it is true that there are ebbs & flows, and I’m sure that 6-10 is not a perfect run for every child. There will always be times that are harder than others. I guess that’s why we need to make the most of each moment, like you say.
Love the photo of the kids at the end, too!
Hannah’s last blog post..Berry pickin?
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So true about 6+ (I have no idea if it ends at 10 though!) Much as I adored Bec in her cutsie pie rolypoly baby girl stages, I am LOVING her company and her personality as she is growing up – SO much fun!
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Happy Delurking Day!!
Chris’s last blog post..Delurking Day
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De-lurking here! I do really enjoy your blog and found you through Kristin! My girls are 8 and 10 (this Friday) I fear I’m at the end of that lovely grace period based on some of the attitude I’ve been getting lately from the oldest! It’s been a great few years though!
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I always love the pictures of your kids!
Nic’s last blog post..The budget.
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Of course they have a day dedicated to delurking! Too funny.
I’ll send a pic later.
BTW, the pic I purchased months ago finally made it up on the wall and it looks fabulous.
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flashes you anyway! *giggle*
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Hi. Delurking.
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Not a lurker, but reporting that your kids are precious and I love hearing stories about them. Thanks for sharing.
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Hi! Great photo! It captures their unique personalities perfectly!!!
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Hi! Another great photo, you’ve done a great job of capturing their personalities!
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I’m a day late to de-lurk! But, here I am anyway. Hi! Love your blog. I will continue stalking, I mean reading, faithfully. Feel free to visit me if you like.
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Hi. Shaking my head YES in agreement with this entire post. I feel a kinship with you, as my 3 boyz are ages 7, 4 and 3. And this summer, for the very first time, Hubby and I breathed a sigh of relief and said aloud, “WE DID IT. WE MADE IT THROUGH.”
Not that it’s all unicorns and rainbows now, but man, those early years were tough.
(Love this blog!)
Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..Delurk!
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I have 9 and 12 right now and it.is.awesome.
Seriously.
I am scared to going back to it all with a new baby but there is only one. Three that close together would have killed me. Of this, I am certain. However, most of the things you pull off make me look like a wussy wussy. You rock the house!
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Great post
You’re a wonderful mom!
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Hi! I have a 27 month old, Karalyn, and she has the same hairdo as Emily…I am hoping that the side fluff and “rat tail” that my little baldy is sporting will soon merge into a sleek sassy bob just begging to be put into pigtails, bows and other assorted barrettes.
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Hi Ange. Aren’t kids wonderful? LOL!! Wil all of their…nesses?? LOL!! You are lucky that you get to spend as much time with them and their personalities as you do. Something I may soon be doing too. We gotta talk soon
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Oops, that was supposed to be With all of their ..nesses. LOL!!
Mel’s last blog post..Neuro Appt
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I had the same freak out with my babies about TRYING TO KEEP THEM ALIVE. I was so hyper vigilant that when I heard a grunt in the middle of the night, the diaper was undone before the poop actually touched it. You can’t beat that. Who would even admit it? It truly does get better.
I love Miss Emily’s quirky. It’s totally obvious from photos.
I’m thinking there’s some feisty going on there
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thanks for reminding me that i should appreciate every stage. even 3 week old stages.:)
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I just flashed you my sports bra. HOT.
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Delurking a day late..was hoping to not miss it, but that’s how it goes sometimes. I really enjoy your blog for lots of reasons.
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Hi!
Great post, good reminder.
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Delurking day, huh? Well, in that case I’d better say hi!
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When your in it sometimes it seems like it will never get better but oh yes, it does! Nice post Angella.
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De-lurking a wee bit late. Hi!
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Hello from SC:)
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I’m a bit late, but hi! I love that pic of your kids.
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