Last week I was reading through my archives in search of a particular post and found myself rather amused as I skimmed the older entries. It’s not that I think I am particularly funny or anything (Sometimes, yes, though not always) but I came to the realization that I used to rant a whole heck of a lot more than I do now. Mostly in regards to parenting and about HOW CRAZY MY KIDS WERE MAKING ME. Three kids in under four years really is a little bit insane.
Those first few years of your children’s life are (a blur, and) completely draining. Emotionally, spiritually and physically EXHAUSTING. There is no break from their demands. It starts merely (Merely. Ha!) with sleeping and eating issues. My kids were considered “easy” babies but I can testify that it was still hard. I spent hours upon hours analyzing their feeding and sleeping schedules and going crazy with documenting it all and comparing one day to the next and wondering IF TODAY WAS BETTER OR WORSE THAN YESTERDAY. In hindsight I wish that my (calm and collected) husband had taken that notebook out of my hands and set it on fire. I so badly wanted to do everything “right” that I sometimes lost sight of just enjoying the experience.
This is where having a gaggle of children in such a short time makes you CHILL OUT ALREADY (Between (your) meltdown sessions.) You do not have time to chart every minute detail of your newborn’s life when her two-year-old brother is doing that lovely floor-tantrum/breakdancing-deal and her three-year-old brother needs his bum wiped. Again. You may be more concerned about the volume of dumpage he is eliminating than the amount of breast milk your baby is consuming.
As the kids get to that lovely toddler stage there are fits of epic proportions. Hitting, kicking, BITING (That would be Emily) and you wonder when THEY WILL JUST BE CIVILIZED HUMAN BEINGS ALREADY.
I feel like we’ve finally gotten to that space, for the most part. Emily is not quite three but she learns a lot from her older brothers and seems older than she really is. She is the biggest culprit of the bedtime meltdowns, but hey. SHE’S TWO. Apart from those few instances where the kids act exactly like I do would if I were that tired and/or hungry, they have turned into these neat little people that I actually like to hang out with most of the time.
There are no more diapers to deal with and two of my three children now wipe their own bums. The dudes dress themselves and even help out a bit around the house. When it is time to make dinner I can send them all out into the yard with the dog and watch them through the window without the fear that they will harm themselves (or each other). They are getting more independent all the time and while a part of me is a little sad, another part is feeling like a small burden has lifted.
While I wouldn’t give up those first few years of miracle babies and silky newborns, I am just appreciating this space we’re in. I’ve had many a moment lately where I want to freeze time. Make it stop. Right here, right now. The stress of babyhood has receded and the stress of puberty hasn’t hit. It’s like the eye of the storm and it is beautiful. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and there may even be puppies and unicorns. OK, no unicorns, but we do have a puppy.
***
I was talking to a family friend last week and telling her some of the routines we have during the day that make me smile. She reads our site (Hi Sue!) and told me that I should document it. Right. I made an effort to take out the camera and take photos of our every day.
Morning are hectic with breakfast and getting people dressed and out the door. Once Matthew and Graham leave for the day it slows a little and I take some time to catch up on work emails. I hook Nathan and Emily up with the Disney channel for an hour or so (Don’t judge me; it’s often the only TV the watch during the day) and I sit down to get as much done as I possibly can. This morning was a little different because while at IKEA on Sunday I picked up a bunch of art supplies including PAINTS. Nathan and Emily were ALL ABOUT THE PAINTING.
Yes, they are in their jammies. It was 8 AM.
They spent nearly TWO HOURS painting and colouring. If you saw clouds parting and a chorus of angels descending, SO DID I. How did we not catch it on film? I really do have no idea.
The next part of our day has consisted of us going out to sit on the deck. The kids will ask me, “Do you want to go on the deck and talk?” We’ll sit across from each other and I will fire off random questions such as, “What is your favourite (fill in the blank)?” Emily’s answer is always pink. Pink the colour, pink the clothing article, pink the food choice (WTH?) Nathan is as random as ever, so we always have a good laugh.
They then moved two of our other deck chairs over to face the french doors that open onto the deck. For some reason the reflection in those doors have a “Funhouse Mirror” effect and, well, provided oodles of entertainment.
Lest you think that Graham misses out on all of the fun while he’s at school, upon arriving home he jumped right in to the painting-fest.
He also drew a map to Vancouver.
(Click on the photo for the back story.)
The other two jumped in, and even wore clothes this time.
This is what we call progress.
I have approximately 33 original pieces of art, free to a good home.
36 Comments
I love this post.
As you know, my oldest are almost 13 and 10. And now? NEWBORN.
So? I know it does get easier (And wow, it really does. There are other difficult things that come with age, though.).
I had a solid 6 years with oodles of “Me” time. My kids were in school. I had a quiet house in the day and I could spend many of those hours as I saw fit.
But?
I am loving having a baby. I have forgotten how LOVELY they are. Your mothering changes as your kids get older and it has been such a sweet time.
I find that I have so much more patience for it than when I was younger, even though 24 has WWWAAAAAAYYYYY more energy than 34.
It’s nice to have little again. And I am sure I’ll be grateful when there is more independence but for now, I’m good.
Wow. I’ve written a book here. xo
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Comment by Loralee on June 16th, 2009 @ 3:40 amMy youngest is 11 months and my middle child is 3 years. For the most part, I’m enjoying this age, but I have to say I’m also looking forward to when things calm down.
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Comment by Crystal on June 16th, 2009 @ 6:32 amI love that they want to go outside and talk. That’s adorable.
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Comment by Sizzle on June 16th, 2009 @ 7:07 amGreat post.
I too am looking forward to the day when we are done the baby stage, we probably have about 3 years to go until then. I love it and I wouldn’t skip it for the world but it is also fun to see your kids change, grow and learn.
Your kids look so happy and content as they paint.
I hear you on the whole numerous pieces of “original pieces of art”, you should take pictures of it and use the pictures to make art of your own. That way you in a way still keep it. Just a thought…
angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:08 am
I *have* been taking photos of my favorites, and plan on making a photo book of them. Huzzah!
Make the art into cards and send them to relatives, SAJ-style. 
Routines like the deck conversations are awesome, aren’t they?
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:12 am
They really are. We just got back from our daily session, and will probably be back out there after G is home from school 
I love your photographs of your kids – they’re so beautiful!
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Comment by Sharon on June 16th, 2009 @ 8:10 amI am loving the older stage, I can’t even imagine going back at this point, which for me, is a REALLY good thing, you know, cause it would take a medical marvel and all
I have never noticed the strong resemblence between N and E before, stunning!
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Wait until you see the graphic that SAJ drew of my family – she captures the resemblance PERFECTLY.
OMG, I totally related to this post. I am in a great space with my boys, aged five and almost-four. I do not miss the baby/toddler/omgI’msoexhausted stage. I also feel I would like to freeze this moment, just for a moment.
Now, about the artwork…yes, I have two artists-in-residence and my fridge has about five layers of paintings/drawings/etc. For a while my oldest was coming home from preschool with five paintings. Every day. Three days a week. I had to do some surreptitious recycling.
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I might just box them up and mail them to the grandparents. Heh.
You should do what SAJ does… cut them into slices, make cards and sell them on etsy. They’d totally sell.
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Brenda is the craft QUEEN. I can’t even begin to try to do what she does.
I love the photo of Nathan and Emily on the bench. They look like they’re hosting their own talkshow or something
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:18 am
They TOTALLY do. I love it too. (Also, I’m a poet and didn’t know it.)
While in a completely different space than you (uh, I’m heading INTO the diaper and traumatic years – trauma for me), I look back at my old entries and think I was way funnier when I was infertile and angry and crazy. When I’m content I’m kinda boring. Of course NOT being content would mean there’s drama, and I can SOOOO do without the drama, but it does make blogging more interesting – at least as a writer. As a reader I still find your post fascinating, thinking forward to all the transitions, and all the fabulous “art” I’ll have to deal with one day.
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angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:23 am
See? You get what I am saying. I’m content AND boring.
I occasionally have something to rant about and it’s when I get all rant-y that the humor comes out. My Dad once told me that sarcasm is my “spiritual gift.”
You know we would totally frame and hang a piece of Dykstra art in our apartment.
I actually to this day still have a piece of glittery awesomeness a kiddo made me while I was counseling at a summer camp years ago.
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angella Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I may just send you some pieces of Dykstra art…
Thanks for giving us hope! And you should totally go see all Bethany Actually’s used art project, projects. She does amazing things with Annalie’s creations!
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angella Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
That’s funny – Bethany told me to do cards like SAJ
I’m looking forward to being diaper-free. That reminds me. We should really start on that!!
ps. How cool is the new Wordpress! Or has that been around for a while, that “reply” thing? Is it just me who’s all nerded out by that??
pps. I’m so jealous that you got to go to IKEA!!!
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angella Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am
It’s a plug-in I added. Isn’t it awesome?
Oh I hope and pray Avelyn will one day WANT to sit and talk with me. What a special memory.
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Comment by Jennifer W. on June 16th, 2009 @ 6:46 pmI can relate. My boys are 7 and 4, and I am LOVING this phase. The diaper-less, tantrum-less (mostly), nap-less stage where they are less like little kids and more like mini-adults who can have conversations and do all the things we like doing, without interruptions and carting baby paraphernalia around and planning stuff according to their their eating/sleeping patterns. Loving it.
Of course, I am now starting to feel clucky again. After years of not feeling clucky at all. And after Rob’s vasectomy (go figure). Still, I’m 100% certain about our family being complete. And I plan on enjoying this stage while it lasts. And before they hit the pre-teen years (help).
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Comment by Hannah on June 16th, 2009 @ 7:08 pmEmily looks like… 12 all of the sudden.
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angella Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Tell me about it. She’s *acting* 12 too. SIGH.
I am not convinced we’ll ever hit this stage, but here’s hoping.
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Comment by Amanda Brown on June 16th, 2009 @ 9:23 pmI’m marveling at how many drinking/sippy cups are around Emily in that one picture! Looks like our table. HA! I never underestimate the power of drawing and painting. It’s inexpensive and so much fun. BTW, if you have some of those paintings to save you can frame them in the colorful, $1.49 (US) frames they have at IKEA. I just did that with a bunch of Ben’s art for the boys’ new room!
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Comment by Elaine on June 16th, 2009 @ 9:39 pmThat sounds like a pretty perfect day. And you’re right. It does get better. I remember when my son was a very sick infant, telling myself to take things “minute by minute”. It’s nice to be at a place now where I can take things “day by day”.
Comment by Momo Fali on June 17th, 2009 @ 8:05 amI hear ya. I love this stage of life.
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Comment by Danica on June 17th, 2009 @ 9:08 amThat photo of Emily and Nathan giggling like fools is PRICELESS!
Whenever I’m with my niece and nephew I always think “I need to take some great candid shots of these kids like Angella gets of her kids.”
But I usually get pulled into the silliness with them, and since I don’t get to see them every day, I happily oblige.
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Comment by Kristabella on June 17th, 2009 @ 2:03 pmOkay, although I only have two kids and not three? I totally, TOTALLY relate to your sentiments. It’s all bittersweet, if you ask me.
(Also, the fourth picture? I MELTED.)
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Comment by metalia on June 17th, 2009 @ 7:11 pm[...] I mentioned in my last post, I used to rant a whole lot more than I do now. For me, I find that my humor comes out when there [...]
Comment by Time For A Rant | Dutch Blitz on June 18th, 2009 @ 12:10 am
angella Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Babies ARE lovely, and when my kids are the age of your older two I could very well be one of those women who start pining for a newborn. Or maybe not