This afternoon, Emily and I had a mother-daughter outing. It was the one where I take her to a clinic and let some strange lady stick needles in her thigh.
After the first needle, Emily cried. HARD. Until today, I had never seen my baby girl cry like that. She cries when she’s hungry and I don’t get to her fast enough, but that’s it. In light of what I experienced this afternoon, I will no longer refer to her hunger squawks as “crying.” They are mere gentle reminders that I need to hurry up and stick my boob in her face.
After the needle, her whole face scrunched up. She went the darkest shade of red, and she bellowed from the depths of her being. Along with this came tears. Actual tears, with wetness rolling down her face. I rocked her, I talked to her, I kissed her.
She kept crying.
Nothing like the inability to comfort your child to make you feel like a failure as a mom. Oh yeah. Could be due to the fact that I was the one holding her tight so the strange lady could stab her.
Since she wasn’t calming down much, we decided to just get it over with. Because how many shots did she need to get? Count with me.
Not one.
Not two.
Not three.
Four. FOUR!
Why four? I have no idea. Something to do with different Provinces giving different immunizations. I think I need to meet with the people who make these decisions. I plan to stab THEM in the thigh four times, every two months, until they get their act together.
After the second one, I tried nursing her to calm her down, but it’s hard to latch on when you are crying so hard you can’t breathe.
When it was all done, Emily and I had to sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes. We were alone in there, and I was finally able to nurse her and calm her down. It breaks my heart that I was the reason for her to cry so hard. Thinking about that made me cry. I then cried all the way home. The entire ten minutes.
Sigh.
I know that as a parent, you have to do these crappy things in the best interests of your children. I know this. It’s my job. Right now I think my job sucks. At least that part of it.
She’s sleeping peacefully now. And my head hurts. Again…sigh.
10 Comments
Wow, Kamden had 3 at that age and I thought that was crazy! Just remember THAT wasn’t as bad as her getting menigitis 
It still sucks though - I hear ya there!
I’m with kami, immunizations are so brutal. So BRUTAL! poor emily. But, at least she’ll never suffer the agony of whooping cough or diptheria etc. etc. Ange, your heart is so soft. You’re a wonderful mommy.
Comment by christyheigh on December 19th, 2006 @ 4:48 pmSeeing your baby in pain is SO painful! I woulda cried too!
Comment by bitetherabbit on December 19th, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
Oh, how awful! I’m so glad I’m past that stage now (well, except for one more for Tyler when he is 4).
I’m sure she’s forgotten all about it now
Needles SUCK! I make Rob hold the kids for that. I might drop them because, needles or anything needle-like or the thought of them make all my joints go weak and then I cry. If she cried that hard you must have had a nurse that didn’t do a good job.
Comment by Heidi on December 19th, 2006 @ 6:16 pmIt is so hard when you can’t calm the little one down. But, this too is a memory they wont have and it safeguards them from so many diseases. And when she wakes up, she’ll smile at you, and never even have thought of you as a bad guy!
Comment by Amanda Franks on December 19th, 2006 @ 7:45 pmWhen I have kids one day, the needles are the one thing that I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle. I mean, I will definitely try and be there for them and hold them through it. But it might be hard for me, especially since I hate getting needles myself. You are brave Angela but an awesome mom for holding onto Emily and comforting her. I’m sure she appreciates it, even if she is still young.
Hope you have a good Christmas!!
Comment by Aaron on December 19th, 2006 @ 8:13 pmI cannot handle needles myself and I am 26…I understand your petite!
Comment by Momo on December 20th, 2006 @ 5:14 am
FOUR! FOUR SHOTS! Oh my goodness. Thank goodness we are on the Saskatchewan immunization schedule. The most Abby ever got was 2, I believe. After 18 months she is now done until she is four. YAY!
I hate immunization days!
Comment by Jen on December 19th, 2006 @ 3:56 pm