I’m So SAD

I am very transparent on this little site of mine when it comes to my feelings. Most of my life is not displayed here, but the portion that is shared is often laid out on the table with brutal honesty. The result has been a blessing due to the outpouring of love by others (We’ll ignore the negative crap that is not really worthy of any mention).

I really do feel like this is my safe place.

There have been times where I have been overworked, stressed out, working through feelings and thoughts and have dumped it all out here. Upon hitting “Publish”, it felt good just to get it out.

I then have numerous people leave comments, send emails, PICK UP THE PHONE to ask if I am truly OK. To wonder if I might possibly be depressed. In need of medical intervention. Which may or may not include medication.

I can truly and honestly say that I am not depressed. I have friends and family who struggle with depression, and it is a beast that I have not had to wrestle with. No lie.

I know the signs. While I may occasionally have a few of the common symptoms (approximately once every twenty-eight to thirty-five days, and) when I am overworked and under-rested, on the whole I am not a “depression” candidate.

However.

As Fall brushes the remains of Summer under the rug I start to feel a little off. I am open about my disdain for Winter, but it really does go beyond my hatred of being cold and my missing of summer flowers.

I feel melancholy, moody, and a little miserable. It is tempered somewhat by the anticipation of Christmas, but once the holiday is over I find myself floundering in the void of MEH.

Not that you would know this if you met me on the street. I am one of those people who does not wear their struggles on their sleeve, unless they are of grand proportions. I will tell you that I am fine, that life is super, AND WHY DON’T WE GO SKIP THROUGH FIELDS OF DAISIES?

The skipping may throw you off, but I really do hate Winter with every fibre of my being.

Last February Matthew and I left the kids with his parents and spent a week in Mexico (My Happy Place) (Photos of me taken by Honey) (Yet another recap BECAUSE I LOVE MEXICO).

Upon arriving home (To snow. Cold weather. Grey Skies), I wanted so very much to pack my entire family up and go on another tropical vacation. Or move to California. My Voice of Reason (aka Honey) was tempted as well, but helped me to see that this community that we have here?

Is pretty awesome.

He is right. I know it to be true. We have friends that any person would envy. Our church family is pretty phenomenal for a bunch of fallen humans. Our daily encounters with people that live here are pretty spectacular.

I just need to get through the winters. While I know I am not depressed, I think that I may have a smidgen of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Not enough to require medication, but enough to require a plan of action.

We had talked of heading to Mexico as a family, but have you ever traveled to Mexico with a family of five? NOT SO AFFORDABLE.

I need to beat the Winter Blues. I know that I am not alone in my warfare with winter.

Do any of you have tips for how to deal?