I have nothing to complain about.
I lead a charmed life, really. I have been married to my (tall, dark and handsome) husband for almost eleven years now. He has his flaws, as we all do, but his pros far outweighs his cons. I almost hate to talk about how amazing he is because it inevitably draws naysayers. No man on Earth could possibly be that great and I must be glossing things over. Heck, he used my birthday this past week as a lesson about love for the kids at our church and surprised me with flowers and afterward, no less than five people made comments about how he’s making the rest of the guys look bad. Yes, he is and no, he isn’t doing it on purpose and maybe, the other dudes need to step it up a notch.
I have nothing to complain about.
I have three perfectly healthy, fully functional children. My very first baby didn’t get to join the party but I firmly believe that we will get to meet him or her in heaven one day and that they are probably having a grand old time up there (in Outer Space, as Nathan describes it) and that they are (more than) fine. The other three kids are hilarious and smart and witty and happy and fifty shades of awesome. They push buttons, as kids do and they test boundaries, as kids do and they CANNOT GET THEIR SHOES ON IN UNDER TEN MINUTES, as kids do but, eh. I love them 100% of the time and like them 90% of the time, which says a lot.
I have nothing to complain about.
We have a home that we love, a community that is like none other and friends that make me laugh and think and wonder how I got so lucky. We both have full-time jobs, which alone is great, but we are working in fields that not only pay the bills but allow us to take vacations and give us benefits and all of that nonsense.
I have nothing to complain about.
The thing is, I still feel like complaining. Or maybe just working through what I’ve been wrestling with.
I feel like I’m running, about three steps behind. Work and commuting takes up sixty hours a week alone. Throw in groceries and ballet (Emily!) and errands and cooking and birthday parties (Me!) and laundry (UGH) and my freelance stuff (WHEE!) and things like showering (YOU’RE WELCOME) and there are moments where I find that my chest gets tight and my breathing is shallow and I wonder where the last week went.
I have photos from Disneyland and from ballet and of the flowers that Matthew bought me for my birthday and from one hundred other events that I haven’t sorted or edited. I have photos from 2009 that have been uploaded to be developed, but have not been developed. I have photos from 2010 that are suffering the same fate. My failure on just GETTING THEM DONE is sitting on my shoulder, nattering at me.
I have a “to do” list that seems to multiply by the minute. Every time I cross something off there are five new items that pop onto the list. “So don’t blog!” someone might say. Don’t write or take photos or do those things that you do for you. Yes. That’s the issue, here.
It’s the things that I do for me that seem to take the hit. A lot of the stuff that I do is for the better good of my family (working and cooking and running errands and exercising)(Yes, exercising. It keeps me sane, which is good for EVERYONE). The time to do stuff just for me seems to vaporize before my very eyes.
I have nothing to complain about.
I suppose that the truth of the matter is that I’m not complaining. I know that I have it good. I suppose that I just want better. Time to do and to play and to just be. Maybe that’s not a bad thing.
“I love them 100% of the time and like them 90% of the time, which says a lot.” Haa! That’s perfect.
Just because you have an awesome family and a great place to call home doesn’t mean that your life is peachy perfect – you’re allowed to have struggles and things that you wish were better. You’re always quick to count your blessings, so stating when something bothers you is OKAY! Being away from your family sixty hours a week for work alone is HARD and stating that it bothers you only means that you love your family so much you hate being away from them – that’s pretty awesome.
Happy Monday!
.-= Mrs. Wilson´s last blog ..when babies fly =-.
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I am feeling overwhelmed too, but with the things that come at this “I haven’t slept through the night in 5 years” and “the tantrums DON’T end” and “I can’t find the time to focus on my course” and “I never get time with my husband” and “gah, I gained two pounds at Angella’s birthday party!”
Balance. It escapes me but I keep chasing it.
.-= Amanda Brown´s last blog ..50 mm Go A Long Way =-.
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I am only doing half the number of hours working and commuting (mine is short, yo) but I am feeling a bit the same way. So, what I am saying is me too.
Nothing to complain about but wanting to do more. Always more.
xoxoxox
.-= Kami´s last blog ..What Kind of Mother Are You =-.
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I don’t think this is a complaint rather than a wish for balance. I think we all struggle to find that. I know I do. I’ve had to say no more often and drop some thing that I had put on my list as Must Do. I even cut my hours by 5/week just so I could feel less like a heavy weight was on my chest every day. Sure, the pay cut wasn’t my favorite but having more time for me or to do what I love? Worth way more than money.
I hope you find it for yourself.
.-= Sizzle´s last blog ..Newity =-.
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Isn’t it annoying how much time goes into the upkeep of these pesky bodies? All the eating and pooping and sleeping and showering and dentist appointments and shaving – not to mention sleeping. Imagine all the things we could accomplish!
I’ve replaced reading with reading textbooks. Not ideal, but meh, it’ll have to do. There’s no way I have time to actually read. I’m pretending that it’s satisfying.
.-= Danica´s last blog ..Martin Luther King Day =-.
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I think the way we feel stretched and even at times a little discontent is proof of growth, and associated needs and desires and longing. For something…more. And I think that’s very much OK. It’s awesome! even. Though the growing pains and transitional periods are never really my favorite times.
Hang in there, babe, and know that everything will be brighter on the other side.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Wherein I Take A Group Fitness Class For The First Time And Fall Into Deep Smit With It- A Bar Method Love Story =-.
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My life is good. I complain about stuff anyway. Shrug.
xox
.-= heidikins´s last blog ..The Jerk and how he ruined my morning =-.
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Finding balance in life is hard. I don’t have kids or a house and I barely work but sometimes finding that time between school, the homework (OH THE HOMEWORK!), cleaning, and everything else to do something for me (like blog or read or something) is hard. Even though I feel like I don’t have that many obligations the ones I do are time consuming. I think it’s a struggle for everyone to make sure they get the quality time with themselves that they deserve (moreso if you have kids who need you all the time I’m sure). But the fact that you recognize a need for these things and are striving to get them speaks volumes about you when compared to the many bloggers (and people) in general who are just Negative Nancy crying over having no me time.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..I meant to this a while ago but then I didn’t =-.
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You’re allowed to complain! Having a great life does not negate the fact that sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. You’re sacrificing your “you” time (for a good cause, don’t get me wrong!) and it’s okay for you to feel sad or upset. I hope you find some balance soon
.-= hillary´s last blog ..Organize Our Lives And Lose The Key =-.
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The question is: does Matthew complain? Cause I have a husband who never does. So there! :O)
.-= ChrisB´s last blog ..Grace in Small Things – 37 =-.
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I once told my family (hubby and kiddos) after a particularly bad day that I loved them so very much I’d give my life for them at any moment but that “right now I don’t like you very much.” *insert sheepish grin* I was having trouble getting them to help with their chores and follow through.
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WOW! I’m impressed, you wrote a post about complaining in January and you didn”t even mention the weather!!
Xo Kim
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I am reminded of this quote from Robert Browning’s poem “Andrea del Sarto.” May it remind you that the best is yet to come.
“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?”
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Eh. We’re all busy. It’s life.
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I totally hear ya. I’ve just gone back to work, and it’s sure as heck getting in the way of me having a life! I’ve only gone back 4 days a week though…that sure helps.
.-= Jenn of the Roof´s last blog ..Splish Splash =-.
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TRUE STORY! My otherwise perfect life is also marred by insanity! Hang on hang on!!
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You do have it good girl and you know it. But we’re only human and part of that is continuing to want and strive for more fulfillment. At least I believe so…
Happy Belated Birthday – sorry I didn’t wish it to you on your actual special day. xoxo
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..Have Your Cake and Read It Too =-.
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you are an amazing writer… (and person?)
so, no. please DON’T stop blogging and photo-ing and doing things for *you*. because…. then you also do them for *us*
so thanks.
i know exactly what you mean about having to remind yourself that you have nothing to complain about.
no matter what- we all still get to complain/vent. there’s always something.
but it’s great to have such a nice life.
cheers to yours——
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..last thursday =-.
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I hear you! There are days where 24 hours feeling like 96 and then days that go by in 2 hours and all my things suffer. For crying out loud I got beautiful bath salts for Christmas and I haven’t even tried soaking in them yet! But no, no complaints, healthy, happy, and staying warm.
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