This weekend a comment came through on last Friday’s post from Jules over at The Daily Grommet. She left me some encouraging words and part of her comment made me laugh out loud: “But you are no ordinary mortal.” I laughed because it is so completely untrue, unless you take it in the light that I am pretty far from ordinary personality-wise because then she hit it right on the mark.
On Sunday afternoon my friend Tamara sent me this link about me winning the Mother of The Year award. It makes me go into the silent laughter because it is so utterly hilarious. And also, because there is nobody in their right mind who would crown me as Mother of The Year were they to catch me in action some days.
I often get comments from people wondering “how I do it all.” I will let you in on a little secret: I don’t. I try to do a lot, I end up doing some of it, and everything else goes down in a blaze of glory. I am going through one of those phases where I have become completely aware of my shortcomings and while it is good to remain humble, sometimes it’s nice to be oblivious and believe that you really can do it all, you know?
Matthew and I have had numerous conversations lately about the fact that we have too much going on. We each have three (THREE) part-time jobs, plus there are those three (THREE) kids we need to keep alive and stuff. Throw in other commitments, activities for the kids and a PUPPY and life is beyond chaotic over here.
I won’t go into (boring) details, but Mr. Bitey McPoopandpee made my day a little more stressful than usual yesterday. In between the usual routine of laundry/dishes/baking/school-pickup/BlahBlahBlah I had to spend good chunks of the day running around the yard with Diesel. There was one brief twenty-minute span where I was able to make my grocery list and then fill my planner with every activity and work-related commitment that I have this week.
Then I burst into tears.
I know that I have too much on the go but I cannot figure out what to drop. Our lives are so hectic that I am failing in so many areas:
- I rarely see my friends. I’m pretty sure that they are going to stop calling me because every time they ask me if I want to get together I reply the same way: “I’d love to, but I have work to do.”
- I have a year’s worth of developed photos that need to be PLACED IN ALBUMS ALREADY, and another six month’s worth that NEED TO BE DEVELOPED ALREADY.
- My closet is a gong-show of epic proportions. Spring cleaning is in order and will probably happen in the spring of 2010.
- I want to learn more about photography and editing, etc., but have lacked the time (or the energy) to do so.
- Don’t even get me started on the state of the papers that need filing in my office.
That’s just the short list. There are so many other things that fall by the wayside (Cleaning the bathrooms once a month is kosher, right? I’m kidding. Maybe.)
After getting my arse whipped at Boot Camp last night, I felt better mentally and on the drive home was able to put my life into perspective a little.
I have three jobs that I will not give up. One makes it able for us to eat and stuff, and the other two gigs are so much fun that getting paid is just a bonus. I have three kids who are demanding, yes, but are also all sorts of amazing. Putting them into daycare in order to “do more” is just not something I am willing to do. Life with three kids (AND A FREAKING PUPPY) is going to be busy. It’s going to be chaotic. It’s going to be stressful. I should expect nothing less.
Maybe the “me time” may have to wait a bit. I can sample it in minuscule bites but maybe this is the season for me to just hunker down, plow through, and suck it up.
Or maybe something else needs to give so that I can spend time doing “fun” things without feeling pangs of guilt. I just need to figure out what I can give up.
Maybe sleep. Because I can sleep when I’m dead.
Having time for yourself is very important. Just as important as having a date night with your hubby. Don’t think of it as just “fun times”-think of it as refueling yourself with your friends. I used to say I didn’t have enough time for myself-but when I did carve out some time for myself it was amazing how much better I felt & how much more productive I was. (((hugs))))
Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..The Walk & a giveaway
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Life is going to be crazy whether you have all of this stuff on your plate or not.
As long as your kids feel loved and cherished, you and your husband are doing good…. that it what’s important. It’s when those relationships start to crumble that you know you need to pull back. Dirty bathrooms etc… when do they ever stay clean for more than two seconds?? Especially with boys
You will make it. It’s what you have to do right now. We all have these type of seasons in our lives. Head up, shoulders back!
-Andrea
Andrea’s last blog post..Andrea is in love…
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You’re an excellent mother — obviously, and yes, that even means when we mothers melt down and crash and burn we can still be excellent nurturers of our babies. I think you provide a fairly accurate glimpse into the normal life of a mom — working outside the home or not, with the multiple directions we are pulled and the tug-of-war in our own hearts about that pull. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and do take a few moments for yourself and your DH once in a while — you will be better for it, and so will your kids. (Happy moms = happy families and homes)
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i’m not a mother of three and i still have most, if not all of those things on your short list on mine as well.
maybe (just maybe) part of it for me is that i’m reading your fab blog and leaving a comment while littlebean is sleeping…. *ahem
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Whatevery you do, don’t stop blogging.
Danica’s last blog post..Moments
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Don’t worry, Danica. I plan on torturing everyone with my blather for years to come
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So you’re totally normal? Good to know
Cut yourself some slack woman, you’re awesome. <3
rachel-asouthernfairytale’s last blog post..Easy and Delicious Homemade Blueberry Muffins
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I’ll admit it. I’m totally guilty of wondering how you do it all. But I think you have your main priorities in line and that’s all that really matters. Hugs!
Elaine’s last blog post..Tuesday’s Tribute – Thursday Evenings
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Sometimes when I think about how much more productive I could be if I didn’t require sleep I get really angsty. And then I remember I don’t control (much of anything, least of all) the universe, and I can only do what I can do, to the best of my ability. One of my favorite quotes of all time that I keep on my desk to remind me:
“For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.”
-T.S. Eliot
Big love.
Kerri Anne’s last blog post..Not To Put Too Fine A Point On It; Say I’m The Only Bee In Your Bonnet
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I think the secret to all the craziness (and I know, for I have it in my life despite having one-third as many kids and jobs as you) is to have a sense of humor and to know that the effort is almost more important than the end result, you know? Even if you clean the bathroom only once every two months.
bethany actually’s last blog post..Annalieisms on Twitter, Part Eleventy
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I think the others have said it all. And I just commented on your post at WIM which was about a similar thing.
You know what I reckon? You’re a busy person. You don’t like to sit still and do nothing. I’m the same. And I reckon that a busy person will always be busy, no matter how MUCH stuff they have on their plates.
Having “me time” is SO important. Try to carve out at least *some* time for that, because otherwise you’ll burn out. Look after yourself, okay? ((hugs))
Hannah’s last blog post..Bula!
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I’ve thought of giving up sleep too. It’s so unnecessary. Ha!
Well, you can take a break in just under three weeks, because I will be there and I will be demanding your wine. Um, I mean time. But just a little bit
Jen’s last blog post..Joy List
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OMG, you’re normal after all!
I love the “fact” that you won mother of the year in the United States, I’m sure it was very much unexpected. Did you know you were even in the running? 
Just do everyone (your family) a favour, take the time you need when you can, if for no other reason than so you still have a voice. I finally crashed to the point of taking a day off work because it’s really hard to teach when you can’t talk or form a sentence that makes sense. Yep, true story, I took Friday off because of it.
Amanda’s last blog post..The Hills Are Alive?
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I’m at once a month, in a good month…. heh.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Fruitful
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I have lived on five hours sleep a night for so long I can’t remember. But that may make me dead sooner.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Damn You Merc Retro
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I am right there with you, with the exception of the fact that I am SIX years behind on putting my photos into albums.
One of my part-time jobs ends in three weeks (just for the summer) and I may just dance in the streets.
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As long as the things you’re doing are more important than the things on your I-wish-I-could list, you’ll make it work. When I’m spending more time on things that don’t *really* matter, and never getting to the things I say I value most…that’s when there’s a reckoning of sorts. And of course with three kids, the list of important things to get done is always too long.
Jeremy’s last blog post..Owlet
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I’m sorry. I wish I had the magic words of enthusiasm and encouragement that would help, but I don’t. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the same boat. I guess sometimes you just keep paddling along because that’s all there is to do, and you hope it works out in the end.
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It’s so hard to balance it all. I feel your frustration!
P.S. You’re awesome.
sizzle’s last blog post..Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.*
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An iroquois friend of mine said, “There’s a saying… get up each morning and live your life as much as you can. There’ll be plenty of time to rest when you’re dead.”
So true, so true…
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