Graham is my first born child. My first born son.
We had twenty months where he was the only child that we had. It was a time of awe, and of wonder and of trial and error. For those reasons, he has a special place in my heart.
Just like Nathan has a special place in my heart because he was our second child. Our second son. And I may have been entirely a little less anal. Also? He is an entirely unique human being.
Just like Emily has a special place in my heart. She is our third child. And our only GIRL. And also an entirely unique human being.
Back to Graham. My sweet, funny, unique Graham.
He will be five in December.
This means that he will be starting Kindergarten this fall.
Kindergarten.
Real school.
In the public system.
Tomorrow? We have a twenty minute meeting with his teacher.
Next week? He starts full-time school.
Two days one week, three days the next week. Alternatively. Away from me. From his siblings. From home.
He will make friends with children with whom I do not know the parents. He will experience things that I am not there to share in. He will have conversations and moments that I will not have any idea about. That is a little frightening to me.
He has seemed so grown up lately. So mature. So not a pre-schooler.
He “gets” teasing. He asks crazy questions that seem way beyond his years. He is so far removed from a baby that is almost incomprehensible.
Doesn’t he look so mature here?
And maybe a little grumpy because he has a red pole sticking out of his head.
This morphing into a grown-up BOY has made me feel every. single. one. of my thirty-two years.
When I had little toddler/pre-schoolers, I felt cool! And hip! And funky! And young!
Lately? I have felt old. And not hip. And not anywhere near funky.
I don’t want to get caught up in age and getting old and all of that crap. I want to be comfortable in my skin and in where I am at and in my role as a mommy.
A new haircut helps.
I am just hoping that I can adjust to my new role as Grown-Up Mom with grace and flare. And maybe be *somewhat* cool.
I hear you on the feeling old thing. Fortunately, you look far from it. I, on the other hand, have days where I could seriously pass for years older than I am. The beginning of school is always full of new things, whether you homeschool or public school or private school. No matter which you choose, the bottom line is, being an involved and genuinely loving parent makes all the difference.
Thanks for your comment. We plan on having a great time.
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I can’t believe he’s starting school. I remember when he was a gummy little baby in church back when we barely knew you and Matt. I’m glad that changed. Not just that Graham got teeth, but that we got to know you and become your friends.
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Kindergarten? Wow!
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Thirty-two is not old! I am 32!
And I have to say that even with the new haircut, Graham looks too adorably chubby-cheeked to be anything but a baby still. Isn’t it funny, though, how our kids can seem simultaneously so old and yet still so young? I suppose for parents that is always true of their kids.
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I’m feeling old, even though I’m just 29. I am feeling like I haven’t done anything “REAL” with my life. I guess that’s why I made all of my ‘Before 30′ lists. But I think you’ll still be cool, even as you and your kids get older. It’s all in the personality and you’ve got tons of great personality traits!
And a new haircut helps everything. Well, a good new haircut.
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The school transition was pretty tough around here last year and now we’re dealing with the chaos of grade 1. I had finally gotten used to the 2/3 days a week away from me thing and now we’re supposed to get up, make lunches and send her off to the institution 5 days in a row. The good news is that we eventually got used it then and I’m sure we will this year too. I hope.
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And 32 ain’t so bad. Yet.
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What an exciting time for Graham. I hope that he enjoys kindergarten as much as possible and that he gets all the benefits from it, as we all know he will.
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I found out this morning that Ben has Mrs. Pepperdine but I made sure to ask that him and Graham are in the same class. Not being in the same class is a non-option. They are getting so big. I still recall they’re first year as buds. Hanging in the church nursery, pushing trucks around on the beach. Good times. Buds FOREVER! kinda like us!
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Oh, he totally looks like a big kid in that picture!
I look forward to seeing the pictures of his first day.
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I completely know what you mean but you know what, once you are there at school… you totally feel cool and funky. You have a kid in school. How neat is that?
Trust me. It’s just a new chapter but equally exciting. They come home knowing all these new things which is just fantastic.
I hate the part about not knowing about EVERY moment and lately Jack is not interested in relaying everything about his day to me.
Graham is going to love it!
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hip and cool are overrated (like I know… hahahahhah!)
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Love the new haircut! I felt the same way when Kaylie started Kindergarten last year. What was she going to do without me? The whole not knowing about what goes on in her day at school scared me a bit as well. Not to scare you further, but Grade 1 is even harder!!!! What am I going to do without her???
And being a cool mom? From what I’ve read in your blog, you are a cool mom!
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He’s growing up alright! But he’ll love school and you’ll be amazed at how much MORE he will grow and learn and bloom and change once he’s there. I am LOVING age 5 with Ethan!!
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Just wait until your kindergarten kid is heading into Year ONE!!! Where oh where did this year disappear to?
Graham is going to love kindy though! How come its not every day? Here kindergarten is regular school so 8:40 – 2:45 Mon – Fri.
And I’d say you’re retaining your coolness
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I think kindergarten is one step I’m not ready for yet. While I love breaks from my kids I don’t want to shrink down from being their whole world just yet! I hope he loves it and that he shares so much of it with you. And you do not look old, not at all, you’ll always be cool to the people that matter.
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I know, it aches when they start growing up doesn’t it? By the way though, you look AWESOME. Seriously. You have nothing to worry about in the age/looks category. You look very young so no worries.
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Kindergarten changes everything.
They just don’t need you the same way anymore. And as you watch them morph into this social being they are suddenly making friends with mothers that YOU DON’T KNOW! And then they want playdates and suddenly you have to break out of your bubble and make friends with other mothers. And their children are allowed to run around the neighbourhood alone and have TVs in their rooms and you start to think school is highly overrated.
Josh started Gr 1. Kindergarten was only half days. For me I still want him to want me because I am starting to forget things. Like he takes baths by himself, but when was the last time I bathed him. I don’t remember! And that precious moment I took for granted I didn’t know it was the last time! We always talk about the firsts, but what about the lasts!
Ummmm… I mean, school will be great. Ahhh, they have grow up. Laws of nature. Just means we have to grow up, too. Just cry it out alone.. with all the other moms in the parking lot. BTW, we will ALWAYS be cool, hip moms as long as we don’t succumb to mom jeans and sweats!
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Oh your still young and cool. I will be 32 when my oldest enters Kind. and so far for all of preschool, I am always one of the youngest moms.
It’s all a state of mind
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I get the feeling ‘weird’ stuff. With my oldest who is A LOT older than Graham (18y), everything thing she does is my first as a mom, AND I still feel like I am faking it, pretending even after all these years.
Thank goodness, I have Georgia who makes me feel confident in a ‘been there, done that’ kind of way.
MK xo
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My advice…do extreme (or semi extreme) sports…this keeps you young! White Water Rafting, Jumping out of an Airplane, Skiing, hell, even going to a good concert…these things keep you young and funky! Even when the little boy is in school full time and playing soccer and skiing and swimming and where the hell did my baby go? I feel for ya!
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