Ain't no pumpkin like a happy pumpkin. (Grown in our garden, drawn by the kids, carved by Matthew.)(Personally, I'm more excited about the (salted) pumpkin seeds roasting in the oven.)

Halloween is tomorrow, which I am sure that you are all well aware of. The kids have been learning about pumpkins and all things Halloween at school (witches and goblins and zombies, oh my!) and I just can’t take it anymore.

I hate Halloween. I think that it’s the stupidest “holiday” that was ever created. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I don’t like scary things. I am not afraid of them, but I don’t like them and I cannot watch them. I will cover my eyes in scary scenes even if it’s a cartoon. YES, a cartoon. Call me a pansy if you will, and then I will call you desensitized. Tomato, tomahto, whatever.

Why do we, as a society, like to take the small children in our care and subject them to a full month of stories about all of the creepy beings that are a part of this (stupid) holiday? Let’s tell stories and sing songs and watch shows about green-faced witches and howling ghosts and beings that want to eat their brains! (EAT THEIR BRAINS.)(That’s a SUPER bedtime story.)

(Side note: It’s come to my attention that people believe that the zombie apocalypse will really happen. And people mock my faith in a guy who actually walked on this Earth.)

We do not ban Halloween in our house, but we’ve chosen to pull what good we can out of it. We carve pumpkins (and roast the seeds), and we take the kids trick-or-treating. They are not allowed to wear “scary” costumes (Go ahead and judge. I don’t care.), but kids love to dress up and we’re not going to deny them that.

Our kids don’t watch a lot of TV, but we noticed that much of the kids programming was full of all of the (stupid) stuff that bothered us. So, this past weekend, we told the kids that any TV time had to be shows that weren’t Halloween-focused and they instead went to Netflix and watched episodes of AFV and Sesame Street. I’ve seen no zombies. This makes me happy.

Tomorrow will see my kids dressed in their chosen costumes, wandering the streets collecting chocolate bars and rockets (candy, not explosives) and bags of chips. I will take photos of them in all of their adorable glory, and (pilfer their stash, and) tuck them into bed.

We’ll wake up the next morning and it will be November 1st, which is the day that Halloween is behind us and that I start playing Christmas music. I can’t wait.

*** As I finished writing this, Graham came downstairs to tell me that he couldn’t sleep. His music teacher told a ghost story and asked kids to share their own stories and he couldn’t stop thinking about them. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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  1. Hannah October 30, 2012 1:23 am edit

    We don’t celebrate Halloween at all. It’s still not very big here in NZ, although it is becoming more popular each year. Even so, we won’t start celebrating it. I have my own reasons for not liking it, and they go beyond “it’s stupid”. I won’t get into them here, but suffice to say it will never become a ‘holiday’ in this house! ;-)

  2. angella October 30, 2012 3:26 pm edit

    I knew that you’d feel the same way. :)

  3. Hannah November 3, 2012 3:29 am edit

    Get a load of this new article from the UK:

    “A man has been charged with a drug offence after children were given bags of cocaine instead of candy during Halloween trick-or-treating, British police say.
    Greater Manchester Police says officers were called after children in the town of Royton in northwest England reported finding sachets of white powder in their Halloween bags. Tests confirmed that the substance was cocaine.”

  4. Laura October 30, 2012 9:37 am edit

    I disagree, but that is okay. We all like different things. I don’t do TOO MUCH for Halloween besides have my kids dress up and take them to relatives houses for candy. I’ve also helped out with haunted houses the past couple of years and saw how much kids loved it. But, I will say, there are some (including my own son) who don’t really ENJOY the scare factor of Halloween and that is fine, too. I don’t force him into scary situations.

  5. angella October 30, 2012 3:28 pm edit

    So we’re basically the same, except for that you like haunted houses. Which is cool! They just make me pee my pants. :)

  6. Laura Radniecki October 30, 2012 11:17 am edit

    I am so with you on this!

    Except I am actually afraid of the scary movies and haunted houses etcetc. I get panicky if I am forced into a situation that is scary to me. I NEVER watch scary movies.

    I loved to dress up as a kid, but my parents, my dad especially, had the same views as you and as I now have. Big time Christians, that thought the gross, scary, nasty side of Halloween was stupid. So I never had a scary or gross costume. I was things like A Dancer, or A Duck Hunter! We carved pumpkins, and went trick or treating and I loved it. But I hate the ghost stories and scary and gross parts about Halloween.

    When Matt and I have kids someday, I plan to parent them similar to how you and Matthew do with regards to Halloween. No scary costumes, no haunted houses. Just fun and clever costumes, pumpkins, and trick or treating.

    And rejoicing with Christmas music on November 1st. (Yayyyy for Chrsitmas music!!!)

  7. angella October 30, 2012 3:29 pm edit

    YAY, indeed! Two more sleeps!

    Dressing up IS fun, but I am HORRIBLE at thinking of ideas. :)

  8. Kami October 30, 2012 11:19 am edit

    I disagree too, I think Halloween is loads of fun and I guess it’s because we don’t have any of the scary parts. Maybe it helps that my kids go to a Catholic school because ghost story isn’t even in either of my boy’s vocabulary. It’s almost over, hang in there! Though playing Christmas music Nov 1 will NOT be happening here. Dec 1st is our strict deadline, there can be too much of a good thing!

  9. angella October 30, 2012 3:31 pm edit

    Ha! You and Jen and your December 1st deadline make me smile. :)

    Our school is great, though, and the teachers don’t pump up the scary factor. It’s usually the other kids who talk about the scary stuff. But, we talk all about it, together.

  10. kakaty October 30, 2012 11:22 am edit

    I agree with you 100%! I hate the scary Halloween stuff. Matilda is very sensitive about scary stuff and this time of year is the WORST. We don’t allow scary costumes either and I hate to say it, but yes – I judge parents who let their 8-9-10 year olds dress up as zombies, or someone covered in blood. We do only about 30-40 min of trick or treat and hustle the kids home before the older kids in more scary costumes come out. There are blocks of houses we have to avoid because they set their yards up with graves that are motion activated so zombies come crawling out or have people hiding behind trees to jump out at you. I mean, seriously? If I wanted that kind of crap I’d go to a haunted house…

  11. angella October 30, 2012 3:31 pm edit

    Ack! That would TERRIFY me.

    And, yeah. When I see little kids dressed up as something gory, I hate it too. WHYYYYY?

  12. Kristabella October 30, 2012 12:19 pm edit

    I HATE HALLOWEEN TOO! I just hate the dressing up. I like the candy part of it, though.

  13. angella October 30, 2012 3:32 pm edit

    Me too. On both counts. Thinking of costume ideas is IMPOSSIBLE for me. My Blissdom Canada costumes have all been Loukia’s ideas, because she’s good at it.

  14. amanda October 30, 2012 6:53 pm edit

    I liked Halloween as a kid…liked, not loved. The candy was great, but that’s about it, I just wasn’t into Halloween. As an adult I’m still not. I live in the sticks and on our highest year we have 9 kids here. I will put out my electric pumpkins – I carve a pumpkin every other year…I’m the only one who eats the seeds. As for in my class…it really is “just another day” for me, except the students want to dress up and bring in cupcakes (even in grade 6). The grades 5-8 have a dance, oh the horror, it’s just awful! Thankfully this year I have to cover another class so don’t have to watch over the dance. Ghost stories…no…for the reason you experienced. That said…I do have to share this book – Jerry Seinfeld Halloween. If you haven’t seen it…you need it (or at least to check and see if the library has it). It is WONDERFUL and will have you laughing because it really is what Halloween was like for us (way back then) growing up.

  15. Ninabi October 30, 2012 10:19 pm edit

    It’s okay to not like Halloween- in some ways, it’s like enjoying roller coasters. Some find them terrifying, others cannot ride often enough.

    I’m not a fan of Christmas. I don’t hate Christmas. I enjoyed it when my kids were little. I just can’t handle all the stuff- the decorating- the jobs- that come in December. I like a little bit of Christmas- some cookies, a few lights- but bins and bins of decorations kept in storage are really scary to me, suffocating me with their volume.

    Halloween is easier for me to digest. There are no cards to send, no piles of presents. Even if one is too lazy to decorate, the only getting ready is flipping on the porch light and buying a few bags of candy. I love to see the kids in the neighborhood all dressed up and it’s a social highlight of the year.

    When I was a tiny girl of three, I did not know the word for “ghost”. I said I wanted to be “a monster” and my father brought home one of those cheap boxed “Collegeville” one piece costumes made out of flimsy synthetic that tied in the back, with a mask to complete the look. That mask. It was horrifying. A molded Frankenstein-with-a-hangover face. Why would a human have stitches? And bolts in his skin just like the bolts on dad’s workbench? My parents thought it hilarious to take me out, because I’d pull the mask up and grin so neighbors could see it was really me and not truly a monster at their door. And they were surprised it was a little girl and not a little boy who chose that outfit!

    I was easily frightened by horror films and thought scary things lived under the bed so I have no idea why I chose to be such a thing.

  16. heidikins October 31, 2012 11:33 am edit

    I like Halloween, but I like my Halloween to be carving pumpkins and cute black cats and charming witches (the ones who hand out candy corn, not warts) and pumpkin-based foods and NOT zombies or vampires or blood or gore or haunted houses or possessed demons. I think you can celebrate Halloween without all The Scary and it’s fun. I really am not a fan of The Scary part of Halloween. (The last time I went to a haunted house I got so freaked out I started hyperventilating and passed out, I woke up to EMTs and a bunch of freaked out friends.)

    Also? “It’s come to my attention that people believe that the zombie apocalypse will really happen. And people mock my faith in a guy who actually walked on this Earth.” Yes. This.


  17. Angela October 31, 2012 11:34 am edit

    I too, hate Halloween. It doesn’t help that my birthday is Oct 21, so I think all-things-Halloween should be held off until AFTER my birthday (apparently that’s selfish of me? So say my kids). I will hand out candy and escort my kids trick-or-treating, but I am not a fan of carving pumpkins or eating candy (I really am not a big fan of chocolate or candy). Last night, my 7 YO woke up from a nightmare, about being in a movie theatre and all the lights going out from a storm outside, and then she was “zapped” (shocked by electricity). Hum, too much Halloween and Sandy news coverage, ya think? :( Please, just get me through today and the pouring rain and our (big) dog barking and terrifying every single trick-or-treater who dares to come close and on to November 1. And I promise I won’t start with the Christmas carols until December 1….!

  18. Elizabeth A October 31, 2012 1:57 pm edit

    Oh, I am so with you! I think it is the stupidest holiday ever, and am sitting here (at work, ahem) in my “Boo Humbug!” tshirt to prove it!
    Halloween’s only redeeming quality, as far as I’m concerned, is that is marks the “gateway to the real holidays” — American Thanksgiving and Christmas. So, get through today, and I’m Holly, Jolly Me again!

  19. D October 31, 2012 7:39 pm edit

    Nice rant.
    And I also am flabbergasted at the seriousness with which some people regard the zombiepocalypse. (Although I have seriously come to enjoy The Walking Dead).
    I loved Halloween when I was a kid. Now I think it is more of a hassle than anything. But it is my sister’s favorite holiday and she always has a big party, my kids’ school always has a Halloween dance and our church puts on a giant outreach called Candy Planet, so it seems like Halloween gets more and more drawn out every year. This year is the first we we haven’t carved pumpkins, and it’s simply because we have zero time.

  20. Ashley S November 1, 2012 10:02 pm edit

    I HATE Halloween. We choose not to participate, we let our girls dress up ( because we let them dress up any day of the year) and this year we had some friends over for movies and a candy table, but that’s it. It also happens to be my Mom’s birthday so that helps us divert attention. Yesterday we saw a lady with a baby about a year old, she’d dressed him up with costume and make up to be a “dead/zombie” baby, not only was I totally upset so was Audrey – we were in Superstore. The only good thing about Halloween is that when it’s over we’re on a straight path to Christmas (cookies)!

  21. Mrs. Wilson November 2, 2012 1:39 pm edit

    I hate Halloween, too. And I hate trick-or-treating. I think it’s creepy. This is a new revelation for me, as I’m in this QUESTIONING EVERYTHING phase right now. I’ve never really thought about trick-or-treating before, but in the last few years, I’m like, I let my kids go door to door asking for (or, demanding)(we’re working on that one) candy? When the other 364 days a year I tell them not to ask for (or receive at all) anything from strangers? Uh, no. Now, I COMPLETELY understand this is TOTALLY different in small towns, but we don’t live in the best neighborhood. I mean, it’s not horrible, but there’s a drug house a block up, and the first murder of 2012 happened only a couple blocks over.

    Um, this is turning into a book. Anyway, our church had a “carnival” this year, so we went for that instead.

    Oh, and I let them watch Scooby Doo which has monsters/goblins/ghosts in it. And yet I have a problem with Halloween. I rule at life.

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