Contrary to what the calendar says, fall has arrived (unless you live in the southern States). The leaves are starting to turn golden, the sun is sitting lower in the sky and the kids are fully entrenched in their school routines. These first two weeks of back-to-school have been rough, what with the stomach flu and Matthew’s hunting excursions and Nathan’s friend party where one (ONE) friend showed up (He only invited three (the total number of boys in his class), but STILL), and yet I feel like we might (hopefully) hit our stride this week. Or next. Or maybe by January.
So many things are up in the air right now and I’m (we’re) feeling a little discombobulated. (I’d like to know who invented that word because I kind of love it; it’s the best word to describe me right now. And always.)
I’m back at work full-time, but am only there in order to cover a maternity leave. That leave is done come this February and that is when my contract runs out. I’d like to stay on (as I also like having a roof over my head and food on the table), but I won’t know if that will be the case and it has me a bit on edge. It’s not as though accounting is my passion (BARF) but it comes easy to me and the initials behind my name make it so that we don’t have to add money stress to life stress. When I have a contract, that is.
As for Matthew, his future is in a bit of upheaval as well. He’s been on staff at our church part-time in the children and families department for a few years now and when the director retired in June he pretty much took over. I’ll spare you the nitty gritty details of churches and processes and blah, blah, blah but he had to actually interview for the position he’s already been doing. He’s done his official interview and now, we wait. Which, if you know me at all, then you know that waiting is NOT MY THING. It would be really odd (and pretty sad) if another person is chosen for that position but we have no control over that and, so. We wait.
The kids are doing…all right. Nathan has cried every morning that he’s been dropped off at school and while we know it’s just the adjustment to (being back at school, and) adjusting to full-time school hours, it’s still hard to walk away from your blubbering child while his teacher holds him back. He’s FINE from the moment we are out of sight until the moment we pick him up, which makes want to record his meltdowns on video. All the more ammunition to tease you with, my dear.
Graham is faring much better at school. Almost too good, as he’s become Mr. Know It All. He questions my driving (DUDE) and tells Nathan what moves he needs to make on the Wii (DUDE) and when Matthew and I are sitting and having conversation about things remotely grown-up, he will chime in even if he has no idea what we’re actually talking about (DUDE). He’s this adorable, snaggle-toothed kid who wants to sit at the adult table and pass himself off as one of us and while it’s 80% adorable, it’s also 20% annoying. I’m constantly telling him to stop bossing his siblings around and to check his attitude. He could probably tell me the same, but he (shockingly) hasn’t figured that out yet.
Emily is…well, she’s Emily. She’s an introverted extrovert who knows exactly what she wants and hates change and bursts into tears when things don’t go her way. So basically, she’s my mini-me. With the cooler temperatures have come long-sleeves (“They pinch my arms!”) and socks and shoes (“I want to wear sandals!”) and a return to ballet (“My body suit doesn’t feel right!”). We spent the day on Friday shopping for her fall wardrobe and had a lovely day, just the two of us. We wandered the mall and ate lunch together and picked out new outfits that all match. Since then, every new item of clothing I put on her has been a battle, complete with shrieking and tears (hers) and frustration and demands to JUST PUT THEM ON AND GET IN THE VAN ALREADY (mine) and, well, it’s been a little exhausting. She may be a fiery bird, this girl of mine, but she also has a delicate heart. I need to know when to let things go and when to put my foot down and this past week has been a huge exercise in figuring out the balance between the two.
SIGH.
So, basically, I feel like this right about now.
It will all sort itself out, I know. I just need to find my groove.
*More ballet photos on Flickr (we started again on Saturday) but you need to be a Flickr “friend” to see them. I’ve had some weird comments, so I’m keeping photos of the kids private.
Graham sounds a lot like Kaylie. I constantly have to tell her that I AM THE ONE DRIVING and that Liliana has TWO parents, not three, so STOP BOSSING HER AROUND. And Emily sounds a lot like Liliana. I AM THE BOSS. NOT YOU. You can’t wear a “prilly” dress because they’re in the laundry and it won’t kill you to PUT ON SOME PANTS!
Hope this week improves for you.
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I can totally relate to Emily (we even share the same name!), and I get how change sucks, even more so when you don’t fully understand it. Hang in there! And I love that picture of Emily – so adorable!!
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I wanted to say that I hope you guys all hit that balanced stride soon (or at least as close as possible when you have a family) but mostly I can’t stop giggling at the picture you used. That’s how I feel most days too!
(I’m having a birthday party here on Saturday. I pretty much feel like that RIGHT NOW.)
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Leaving Halifax =-.
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That ballet picture of Emily is so awesome. I often feel like that too.
.-= Sizzle´s last blog ..Auto Correct =-.
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I just had a hay-day looking at the ballet photos. Love them. Adore them. I wish I could go watch ballet class with you. Prayers for your family – for the future. As someone who usually likes having things planned and to know what’s coming up, I can relate to not knowing. The anxiety and uncertainty it brings. In the season Matt and I are at in life right now, with him in school and us not knowing exactly what happening in 1.5 years after he graduates, I’m learning to be ok with NOT knowing, and trusting God that He knows what’s best and that there’s a plan.
.-= Laura Radniecki´s last blog ..Baby Bentley – Brainerd- Minnesota Baby & Newborn Photography =-.
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I have been saying for a week now that it’s fall despite what the calendar may say.
We have been having some back to school hiccups too – if they would just have the fire drill they keep talking about already Kamden could quit worrying about it every night at bedtime.
May you all melt into a rhythm and live happily ever after
.-= Kami’s Khlopchyk´s last blog ..Arbitrary Thursday =-.
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that picture of emily makes my ovaries hurt.
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Yeah, it was 108° yesterday in Phoenix! UGH It will never end! I can’t wait to feel that first cool, crisp morning. Praying that things work themselves out with your jobs, and you guys find a rhythm with school that works1 The ballet pictures are adorable!! Love little girls!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..From the archives- =-.
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oh my word! that tongue!
.-= hillary´s last blog ..Now Then Mardy Bum I See Your Frown =-.
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Thanks for the family update! Hope things settle down soon…
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You should have stuck with boys…..this is the ugliest little girls that I have ever seen!!!
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Mrs. Wilson Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 10:15 am
You cannot be serious. Emily is GORGEOUS and you need to find somewhere else to vent your anger.
.-= Mrs. Wilson´s last blog ..7 Days- 2 opposite of old =-.
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Simon Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Mimi,
There’s nothing nastier than what you said. You should be ashamed.
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Karyn Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Hey MIMI,
Is that your real name?! My friend’s mom called her privates her “mimi” growing up… well, I do suppose it fits perfectly for you now doesn’t it?
Emily is beautiful. Not sure what your personal issues are. But I hope you get some help for them.
.-= Karyn´s last blog ..The Great Turtle Rescue =-.
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monstergirlee Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Mimi – if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. So SHUT THE FUCK UP.
.-= monstergirlee´s last blog ..A Morning of Mist and Spiders =-.
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Hey Mimi, go crawl back under your rock.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..You Know- People Underestimate The Value Of A Good Ramble =-.
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I, too, need to stick out my tongue in order to remain balanced. Are you kidding me with that adorable picture? (DUDE.) Also, so glad to know I’m not the only one with a backseat driver. Although, I would measure the percentage at 80% annoying and 20% amusing.
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Why d’you gotta keep putting songs into my head! lol
.-= Victoria´s last blog ..Blah =-.
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That picture of Emily is AWESOME!
I totally stick my tongue out when I’m concentrating hard, too!
Giant hugs, love.
.-= Rachel ~ A Southern Fairytale´s last blog ..Weekly Winners =-.
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Well, I’d speculate by the poor spelling/grammar that “Mimi” is just a troll, but I totally want to shove a dirty sock in her digital dirty mouth.
Angella, I totally understand the ‘churches and processes’ thing; our denomination even has rules set in place for those particular situations. Hate waiting! We’ve been in a “season of winter” around here lately with the changes and getting our groove back.
Now that picture needs to be made into a poster!
.-= Rae´s last blog ..Tiny =-.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling all out of balance… but I have to say it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one trying to get my life in order and just keep up. I’m just treading water here… trying to keep my head above water.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Off to school we go =-.
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Oh man, that picture says it all. Oh, the awesomeness of figuring it all out.
.-= Danica´s last blog ..Do You Have the Time =-.
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I feel you on the hating to wait thing. I SO feel you. And whom did I marry? A military officer, whose job & fate is up in the air on a regular basis! Yep, I know that feeling all too well. I hope the time passes quickly till they make their decision about Matthew’s job!
You know all those wacky outfits Annalie is always wearing? Yeah, that’s because I decided a long time ago that that particular battle is just not worth fighting about 95% of the time. I might offer the passing comment that most people wouldn’t wear orange-and-pink stripes with green-and-blue plaid, but as long as she’s dressed more-or-less appropriately for the weather, I sigh and let it all go.
I had to laugh at Graham’s antics. He is such an oldest child! My friend Bekah is forever saying to her oldest daughter, when she gets bossy with her younger siblings, “Cassie, it’s okay, you don’t have to be the mom. *I* am the mom. You just be the big sister, okay?” I have noted that and filed it away for future use with my two.
.-= bethany actually´s last blog ..Day 2 – I’m toast =-.
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That photo of Emily is awesome! I love the concentration on her face. As for dressing girls it SUCKS, sometimes. Bethany will not, under any circumstances wear socks with seams in the toes, she swears they hurt her feet and because we’ve had some serious toe-toe issues and I don’t want to face a battle 45 times a day (because she’ll keep taking them off) I go to Please Mum and pay stupid prices for socks that have no seams and of course have sticky bottoms.
As for the rest of the wardrode refusal I just tell her, she wears what I have chosen/what she has or she has to be naked. Naked isn’t good because then everyone would see her parts and we DO NOT do that (of which modesty has become important to her – she informed Audrey and I the other day, she needed privacy, while she put on her shoes), and because we don’t want that she has to stay home, in her room. It works, she wants to play and hates naked.
I just keep thinking, what the heck are we in for when these girls are 15 trying to wear mini skirts and stuffing socks in their bras?
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..G25 =-.
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Love <3 the photo! I do the tongue thing too
I can't even think hard without hanging it out!
I hear you on the getting dressed thing. I don't want to give you another reason to hate winter, but I think the extra prep time etc. required is far worse than the cold.
This is the first year that Georgia has put on a coat over a long sleeved shirt without a breakdown. Take a deep breath … it gets better.
xo Kim
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Oh hon, big hugs!! I can totally relate.
Ethan has just been through what Graham is going through. It kind of gets better, so there’s some hope. Or maybe I’m just getting used to the fact that I apparently KNOW NOTHING?
Tyler went through what Nathan is going through at the start of our school year in February. That definitely gets better, so lots of hope there. But I know how horrible it is to leave your crying child in the arms of his teacher. We even had a couple of “escapes” where Tyler somehow wrenched himself free from his teacher’s grasp and high-tailed it back across the school field, crying for me. Scary! But he eventually came right. It may be a “normal” adjustment stage but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is REALLY HARD on both parent and child. And most parents cannot relate as their kids have never been through it. Which makes it even HARDER.
Tyler has also just come out the other side of the stage Emily is in. I thought that would improve a LOT faster, but no, he is 6 on Friday and the tantrums and fuss and getting upset over little things has really only started to improve in the past 6 months. But hey, at least it did improve!
You’ll get through all this. And you’ll barely remember it in a few years’ time (so they say). Hang in there! xx
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..Things I am loving =-.
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I can actually ENTIRELY understand how you’re feeling. Josh has just been let go from his new postion (due financial mistakes made by his boss and nothing by him) and for the first time ever we have no idea what we will do or where a paycheck will come from. And yet there is a wave of peace we’re riding, that somehow, someway, in the thick of it all, God has the answer. Just don’t count on me being chill tomorrow. One day at a time.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..So Proud Of The Prince =-.
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Oh, and I kind of want to smack “Mimi” in the face right now.
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..Things I am loving =-.
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Picture of Emily – totally adorable. Sorry that Nathan is finding it so difficult, but he’ll settle in and hopefully love school. Hope all the other balls in the air land softly in the way best for you all.
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Sounds like you’re all going through some growing and adjusting pains, but it also sounds like you’re going to be stronger when it settles down. Hang in there Angella, you’re a strong woman, and you have an awesome family full of love. (Even if sometimes you’re screaming in your head STFU already. Or not. I do. Not out loud of course. But yes I do it.)
.-= monstergirlee´s last blog ..A Morning of Mist and Spiders =-.
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Okay. I just have to say…Isabella is also insane about her clothing. she won’t wear skirts or pants because apparently…she doesn’t like waistbands. WHAT? she will ONLY wear dresses…which is a serious problem for my bank account. GRRR. GIRLS. so what i’m saying is…I feel you.
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I’ve been feeling the same way the past two weeks. All out of sorts. I know it’s just a transition to school and new schedules, but it’s hard all the same. I’m sorry that you have to wait and see what happens as far as work in concerned.
I hope that Nathan’s tears end soon. We went through many years of separation anxiety with Clarabelle and it was torture for me. When Pixie started preschool I was a nervous wreck. It’s tough!
Heh, Graham is just like my Clarabelle, must be the age!
And Emily, ooooh Emily. What a character. Do you think it’s a third child thing? Sprite gives me a run for my money on a daily basis. She’s such a spitfire. We haven’t had any clothing issues, YET
I hope that you are feeling more grounded soon. I’m starting to feel the beginning of that stage myself. Or maybe it’s just the brandy & Coke talking…*sigh*
.-= Madge´s last blog ..The Other Side – The Beginning =-.
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OMG I love Emily! That girl knows how to do a mean jazz hands in a tutu! G starts ballet next month and we cannot wait.
I think Emily and G sound a lot alike, introverted extroverts FTW.
Both those job situation sound stressful and when it’s beyond your control, well that just plain sucks. Perhaps you should start handing out condoms with pinholes in them at your current contract and see if you can score another mat. leave
I’m incorrigible (another great word though not as good as discombobulated.)
.-= Katie | motherbumper´s last blog ..Coming Soon To Germy Hands Near You- Flu Season 2010 =-.
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It’s always nice to know someone is going through the same things we are…
Jenn
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Down By the River =-.
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It’s been awhile since I have stopped by and I could kick myself because I always enjoy your posts so much.
This one, in particular, really hits home with me. As a mom of 3, I can so relate to, as monstergirlee put it, “going through growing and adjusting pains”. Just know that this will all pass. But also be sure to know that once they are fully grown, well…let’s just say they will never cease to make you worry and/or stress, and will still ANNOY the hell out of you!
The picture of Emily is completely and utterly adorable.
.-= smizzo´s last blog ..Flashback Flash =-.
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Pingback: Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » Just a bunch of monsters…
Oh man! I totally know that feeling you wrote about. When things get all mixed up at the same time, and life leaves you breathless.
.-= Mama in the City´s last blog ..Just Call Me Ellen- Battle Of The Title =-.
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