The cursor is blinking.
The common scenario is that I have wracked my head for hours, possibly days, wondering what I should share here. What I want to share here. What I need to share here.
The cursor is blinking.
When I have to write something elsewhere, the words just pour out onto the (virtual) page. When sitting down to work on my NaNoWriMo challenge I can easily get lost in time and before I know it, hours have passed and words have been added to the count. I sit down to share something in this space and…
The cursor is blinking.
Why is that? Why do I feel hindered by this place that I created over four years ago? A place that has brought me some of the greatest (and funniest) friends a girl could hope for? A place that has opened doors that I didn’t even know existed? A place that is mine?
The cursor is blinking.
There are a myriad of reasons. Some are valid, some are ridiculous. Some are hovering in between those two points.
I have been finding lately that when I sit down and put a pen to paper and just start, I am absolutely amazed at where I end up. “Amazed,” sounds a little bit cheesy but it really is true. I will get to the end, put down my pen and wonder where on Earth that all came from.
Maybe I need to start that practice here. Forget the thinking, the formulating, the planning. Just sit down and start typing. Who knows what could happen?
***
Sometimes I feel like I am playing a record that is skipping repeatedly.
Life is busy *scratch* life is busy *scratch* life is busy
Most days that busy is something that I have under control. I have lists that I use to keep the chaos down to a dull roar. I will get to the end of the day and take pride in the fact that not only did I not implode, I made steps forward and crossed more items off of my list than I added to it. Simple pleasures and all of that.
Then there are those days that do not work as you had planned. Not only can you not keep up, you fall so far behind that you throw in the towel, sit down in your cozy chair and cry until your nose is red, your eyes are almost swollen shut and your head feels like someone took a mallet and took all of their frustrations out on you. You feel absolutely miserable and fantastically relieved in the same moment.
You pick yourself up, you crawl into bed and then you face a new day. You tackle it with the force of a woman who is determined to not only catch up, but to win. You don’t merely win, you medal.
And then? And then. You go outside and play.
I did the same thing today on my blog. I actually wrote a piece, but deleted it and put up that funny instead (lame, I know). But hey, sometimes the words just ain’t flowin’.
LOVE the pictures!!
Oh, and are you going to share your novel here after NaNoWriMo?
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..Why God made Mums =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I hadn’t planned on it, or even thought of it.
True confession: My book doesn’t really fit NaNoWriMo (It’s not fiction) but I’m using NaNoWriMo and my writing buddies as encouragement/accountability to GET IT DONE.
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I get blog post ideas when a friend comes over and she listens to me tell her stories. Then she urges me to blog them. Wine helps.
.-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Open Mouth Insert Foot =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Point taken.
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I have found some of the best things I have written have come from just letting my fingers do what they do best. I have also found that a photo usually inspires something. I have you to thank for that. Without your blog and your fabulous photos I would have never thought to post photos to my blog. I always worried that people would get bored of seeing my world through my lens and then I realized, I never tire of Angella’s or any blog that has lots of photos photos. In fact I look forward to them.
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Growing up Giggles Style =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Aw, thanks Heather. That made me smile.
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I totally want that last picture framed and in my apartment.
Here’s to writing it out, always, and playing outside, too.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..A House On Decatur Avenue =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Word.
*Off to email you the photo*
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Great photos, Angella. I love the first one.
.-= hillary´s last blog ..Gonna Find Myself A Duck And Legally Do Something Awful =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Thanks, friend.
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Your photos are consistently lovely. They have a light and dreamy quality to them that makes me wish I was out there in the woods with your family. And you are completely right: some days just don’t go our way but once they are over, and new one is ahead. That fact alone is enough to offer a glimmer of hope in even the darkest day.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..We are getting our kicks on Route 66! =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
It is. And, thank you.
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sometimes going outside to play solves everything!
.-= ali´s last blog ..Today. =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
It really, truly does.
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One of my most favorite posts is when I just started typing. I had a subject in mind, but it went a totally different (and better!) direction than I could have ever imagined.
It’s hard to do that all the time because there is some censoring we have to do on our blogs.
.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Praise Be To Neti =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
EXACTLY. And I feel like I’ve painted myself into a corner sometimes. Sigh.
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Are you getting tired of me saying “Me too” to all of your posts? Because, well, me too.
.-= Danica´s last blog ..It’s Official =-.
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angella Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
“Me too” is the best phrase, dude. I never tire of it.
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I’m in a total blog brain block too right now.
.-= slynnro´s last blog ..The BIG Splurge. =-.
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and then when you think that there is nothing left to say, that maybe just maybe, you should just shut the whole thing down and walk away, idiots come into your life and give you the best blog fodder EVA!
Well that is what happens to me anyway.
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Yes, sometimes you just have to get out and play.
And with adorable, sweet kids like yours, I’m sure it’s often…
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..Perhaps I Jinxed it =-.
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