Domestic Goddess*
Date: Wednesday February 6, 2008Posted in: Emily, Family, Parenting, Workin' It, domestic bliss, me
As most (some?) of you know, I am an accountant. Of the Chartered variety. Seven years and a four-day exam later, I managed to pass an exam with a sixty percent pass-rate and finally be DONE with the whole schooling thing. Except for the eleventy billion hours of Professional Development that I need to do each year. But that is a different post.
Since having kids I have not worked full-time outside of the home, save for a few tax-season gigs early in my parenting years with Honey operating Daddy Daycare.
I switched to the education side of the boring accounting field and have been able to dabble enough to be the Gravy on top of the Meat and Potatoes made by Honey. Lately, however, his work in the lumber industry has been slow. Not non-existent, but not paying (all of) the bills either. I can always take on more of the education contract work but have been feeling all antsy lately and not sure if that is what I wanted to do.
One of my education colleagues is also the corporate controller of a Very Large Company. He has asked me if I want to come and do a few contract projects for him and his Company. I cannot name the Company, due to the whole confidentiality thing, but you likely have drunk of their juices and eaten of their snacks.
It pays the same hourly rate as my education gig and would involve working in an OFFICE. With REAL PEOPLE. Who are OVER THE AGE OF FIVE. I headed off to meet with him this afternoon.
(Here I am dressed like a Professional for the first time in WAY TOO LONG.)
(Good thing I hit some sales last weekend while on a hot date night with Honey.)
I sat down with my colleague to discuss what the project(s) would entail and then told him the conclusion that Matthew and I had come to.
I was not going to take the contract position.
There are a variety of reasons, based on the fact that I would be in their office fifteen to twenty hours a week (with a one-hour commute each way). Matthew still has work to do, and if I am not here to spot the kids, he cannot take calls, etc. I also have deadlines on my education work that need to be fulfilled and there really are only so many hours in a day.
It feels good to get an unsolicited offer from someone who thinks I would be an asset to their Company. It also feels good to know that I have the ability to generate a sweet salary in times where Honey’s work is slow.
Can I tell you a little secret, though?
I would much rather not be the one winning the bread.
Don’t get me wrong. I am very thankful that the hourly rate I charge is more than what someone working minimum wage can earn in an entire day. I should hope so, after all of the rigamaroo it took to get my initials. I even have a nicely framed certificate hanging on the wall for all of my efforts.
But in all honesty, I would rather just be a Mom. “Just” is a horrible word. Let me rephrase that. I would rather be a Mom. I like to play with Play-Doh and build towers out of blocks. I love to plan meals, shop for them and even cook them. I love to have play dates so that I my kids can socialize. I even like to have clean laundry.
The cleaning of the house is not really my specialty. Before I know it I am asking Honey, “The bathrooms ate dirty? Did I not clean them just last month?”
Apart from the bathrooms, I run a fairly tight ship. I seem to wash a hundred pieces of plastic dishes a day and wipe the counter down at least a dozen times. I plan meals for each week, shop as frugally as I can, and somehow manage to keep everybody alive.
I like being a Mom, with no initials. Despite protests to the contrary, I think I do an OK job of it. Just like my paying work, I do The Mom Gig to the best of my ability.
I clean bums, read stories, play house and colour in Toy Story figures. I tickle until my kids are screaming for mercy and I burp out loud just to hear them giggle. I have been known to place silly hats on my head and play “dead” so that three little munchkins can tackle me with all of their brute force. I play hard, I laugh even harder, and then I will (sometimes) pass gas. A girl does what she needs to in order to lighten the mood. And relieve her intestines from the discomfort a high intake of vegetables does to it.
Besides, if I worked outside of the house, I would miss out on the tiny moments. Like Emily joining the posse of my cookie-making “helpers”.
She was pretty excited about it.
***
She followed her brothers’ example.
She is a quick study, that girl.
I am not going anywhere.
If I was not here I would miss out on these memories. While there are definitely some sub-par moments, there are infinitely more great moments.
Like eating cookie dough making cookies with my children.
*Title is courtesy of a post that LV Gurl did a while back. She asked her readers if there was a better title than SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). The consensus was Domestic Goddess. I’m going to wear that title proudly.
38 Comments
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Comment by witchypoo on February 6th, 2008 @ 9:27 pmI definitely am digging the domestic goddess approach - I wish I could join you to be home full time!
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Comment by BethanyWD on February 6th, 2008 @ 9:37 pmCongrats on that offer - that’s got to feel so great that people are confident in your abilities, and want your expertise for their company.
I don’t know you personally, but from what I’ve read here, you sound like an incredible mom. Your kids are so lucky to have you at home with them!
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Comment by Sharon on February 6th, 2008 @ 9:43 pmLovely! I will wear the badge too, much snazier(sp?) than SAHM!
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Comment by familymclean on February 6th, 2008 @ 9:50 pmI would trade my SAWM (Stay-at-work-mom) badge for the Domestic Goddess badge any day. I am, unfortunately, the breadwinner of my household. Hubs is an excellent painting contractor, but with the SoCal real estate market in the situation it is in work is harder to come by. I have a great job that pays well. I have my “adult” time and continue to keep my stake in the industry. But, the stress takes away so much from my family (and my sanity). I proudly wear my SAWM badge, but I wouldn’t even blink if Hubs told me to turn it in.
Comment by RLM on February 6th, 2008 @ 10:06 pmGreat post! I am not financially able to be a SAHM, but being a WAHM (Work At Home Mum) is almost as good. Besides, I was home a LOT more when the boys were little. They are bigger now. Ethan’s at school. Life is different, and I enjoy my work. I enjoy doing it here at HOME even more though! I wouldn’t want to miss out on the stuff I get to do by being here all day, every day. Office Schmoffice.
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I guess I would be considered a WAHM too, on a part-time basis :). But I’m a Domestic Goddess on a full-time basis.
As usual love the pictures. 
Being a mom is the best, our kids are only small once so why miss out if you don’t have too?
It is nice to have the little boost though to know that you could work in a “real office” if you wanted to!
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Great writing. I’ve just newly crowned myself a “Domestic Goddess”. Hot professional look btw.
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Comment by Caorlyn on February 6th, 2008 @ 10:56 pmEvery picture of Emily I see, she seems to look older and older. She is so stinkin’ cute! It’s good to see her brothers teaching her the necessities of cookie baking! Good for you for getting that meeting AND for turning the job down! You go girl! Oh, and by the way, you look awesome!
Comment by Michele on February 6th, 2008 @ 11:45 pmFeels so good to be needed and wanted…but it’s the best when it’s your kids. I love my ‘job’ and only wanted this for my life…even after all the student loans we paid for our degrees! It’s the best…
Great outfit…looks like you still got it! How fast were you back in your ‘mommy clothes’? : )
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After being pregnancy with Emily? It was about three months after she was born. A weekend of the flu helped drop the final ten pounds
I have moments of jealousy when I long to be a diva on the stage, but in reality, I love my life. I love my boys. I am not the best mom or homemaker by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I try to be there and do the best I can.
I think you are amazing that you can balance it all.
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Comment by Loralee on February 7th, 2008 @ 12:02 amBurping to make your kids laugh is the best mothering EVER. When I burp, the dog just looks at me. As if to say, I am NOT amused. And where’s my dinner?
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Comment by Moose in the Kitchen on February 7th, 2008 @ 4:48 amAwww, I’d like to be a stay at home Mom… but alas, I don’t have any children… not even married. Maybe someday. Untill then, it’s office life for me.
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Comment by K on February 7th, 2008 @ 5:10 amFound you from a comment over at OMSH. Can I say I am in love with your blog and your style of writing. I love the picture of the three kids from behind in sepia. LOVE IT! I’ll be back aas I now have your feed. Can’t wait!
Comment by Shannon on February 7th, 2008 @ 6:35 amOhh I have struggled with this as well. At times I feel like I dont contribute enough to our household. I do work from home, but the pay is less than desirable. My husband often reminds me that I do contribute, just ina different way, taking care of the kids, house, their well being etc etc. I love staying home with my kids, it is one thing both of us felt very strongly about when I got pregnant. I think you made the right choice, as parents IF we can stay home we should, if not, than we need to go out and work, we have to do whats best for everyone in the family either way. I know a lot of people would love to be home with their kids if it were at all possible.
Comment by jenn on February 7th, 2008 @ 6:36 amFirst: Eleventy Billion! Ohmygosh that was awesome. Hehe. Sometimes SNL still has good stuff. *Cackle*
Second: I’m a stay at home mom. I wasn’t when my first was born and it KILLED me to have to go back to work. I’m so thankful that this time around I’ll be able to stay home and not miss a single thing but I definitely want Domestic Goddess as a title instead of stay at home mom. When people ask me what I go I’m going to start saying, “I’m a domestic Goddess. Worship me.”
Have a great day, girl.
Comment by Marcie on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:02 amMy grandma gave me a bumper sticker once that says ‘you don’t work full time until you’re a mom’ and it’s so true. It’s taped to my dryer — is that why I see it 5 times a day?
Good for you for saying no.
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Comment by Karen on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:16 ami wish i had the ability to just be a mom…both financially and mentally.
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Great reflection. Happy Thursday.
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Comment by Elizabeth on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:58 amA really lovely post. *hugs*
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Comment by Victoria on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:59 amYou’re an inspiration, that’s for sure. Great post… great pictures. Beautiful family.
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Comment by She Likes Purple on February 7th, 2008 @ 9:53 amI hear you loud and clear, my friend. I too, love being a mom. Of course, there are some days that I miss the glitsy allure of corporate sophistication and high heels, but I have never been more at peace than now, as a mom, home with my kid.
Lovely post Angella. And very lovely, skinny legs and waist too!
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Comment by Karla on February 7th, 2008 @ 10:14 amjonathan is going to school for accounting..one year of school lefT! i agree that being a “domestic goddess’ is just as good as working out side the home..I am about to find out forusre in a month when i have to return after a year of bliss….
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Comment by Chelsey on February 7th, 2008 @ 10:46 amGREAT post! I love it!
I hate being back at work. I love my job, but I hate leaving my baby. It’s easier with Kaylie, as I only work while she’s in school, but today is the first day that Liliana went to daycare because Noah is back at work too. I don’t like being a bread winner when it keeps me out of the house.
I’m with you. Being a mom IS the best.
Hee hee … and about the burping and passing gas to make your kids giggle … I’d never do that. Nope. Not me. Not ever. Ha!
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Comment by Jen on February 7th, 2008 @ 11:48 amYou are such a fabulous mom! And what a great partnership you have with Matthew. Ya know..I think I’d like to be you when I grow up
(Although I think I’m older than you, so I might have to re-phrase that.)
My husband and I don’t have any children yet but we’ve talked about one of us being able to stay home. And for the record, I CALLED IT!…and this is totally legit as it’s stated in the comments section of my favorite blog. Angella, you may need to sign a contract at a later date saying that you witnessed this declaration. Thanks in advance
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I’m with you. I am fortunate enough that I CAN stay home, although I do sometimes miss adult only stimulation. I’ve been home a L-O-N-G time. One day I will make my was back out into the workforce outside my doors, so I am trying to appreciate every moment I do have with the children (and sometimes…oh sometimes I wish I worked in a tropical paradise for a six figure salary, for days at a time and my children’s nanny…who of couse would be none other than Jo herself…would fix every tantrum and find he perfect naughty spot for me. Then an hour passes and I don’t wish that at all. Well, maybe I’d still have Jo live with me:).
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Comment by Vicki on February 7th, 2008 @ 12:09 pmWhat a great post! Congrats on the offer and also on getting to turn it down. How great to be able to work at home with your babies! (Who aren’t really looking much like babies any more)
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Comment by Ashley Stone on February 7th, 2008 @ 1:27 pmThis stage doesn’t last forever - in four or five years you can change your status, but its so great that your kids are top priority!
Comment by Heidi F on February 7th, 2008 @ 1:41 pmBeautiful! You have articulated exactly how I feel, but could never say so eloquently!
(And you look oh so fashionable! Nice outfit!)
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Comment by Sue on February 7th, 2008 @ 2:50 pmI don’t see anything wrong with your way of thinking *at all*. I enjoyed working, I really enjoyed it but nothing in the world compares to being my kids’ mom.
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Comment by Kian on February 7th, 2008 @ 3:46 pm[...] day of trying to live up to my Domestic Goddess [...]
Comment by Dutch Blitz » Trying To Live Up To My Title on February 7th, 2008 @ 5:59 pmThat post made me tear up.
You’re right, *just* is not a great word for being a mom. Because being a mom entails so much more than any job in the “real” world ever could. You are not “just” anything.
I envy you having that time with your children. I have kind of the best of both worlds, being at home all day long with my children and working while they are mostly asleep. But then I don’t see my honey either.
You are living the life. And it’s so refreshing to see how grateful you are for that. Kudos to you.
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Comment by Lisa on February 7th, 2008 @ 6:43 pmI was talking to a med student on the plane today who is mother to a 5 and 3 year old and I am so with you on this. They are young for so short a time, why miss it? It’s just not worth it.
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I also have initials after my name and a nice certificate hanging on the wall, but I like how you put it: I like being a mom, with no initials. I kind of feel like the “initials” phase of my life might be over in favour of the M.O.M.M.Y. phase!
Comment by Lisa on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:18 pm[...] read this post of Angella’s today. I loved it. It totally says how I feel. I love being a mom. I love [...]
Comment by Bye Bye Baby on February 7th, 2008 @ 8:57 pmI am totally going to copy that title! I love it! I am a domestic Goddess I think we should copyright that! Now when I fill in anything that asks for employment, I am not going to check homemaker!
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Comment by Mar on February 8th, 2008 @ 6:29 amI can finally see the photo with your outfit! I lurve it!
Hawt professional woman!
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Comment by Loralee on February 8th, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
I think saying someone is just a mom is kind of oxymoronic anyway.
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Comment by slynnro on February 6th, 2008 @ 9:15 pm