Five years ago today I was headed to Kelowna with a van full of girls on our way to celebrate the birthday of one of our friends. I ended up sitting next to Amanda and we got to talking, as we are wont to do. She mentioned that she had been reading some blogs and wanted to start one of her own. “What is a blog?”, I asked. She told me that they were basically an online journal. She had been Googling something and had come across A Girl and A Boy, which led to her finding Whoorl and Secret Agent Josephine and, of course, Dooce.
An online journal? I had been writing in journals since I was a preteen and had been trying to figure out a way to share photos and stories of my kids with our family and friends who lived far away. Could this be what I had been looking for? The very next morning (July 16, 2005) I created a free Blogger account. (I deleted my Blogger account after I went self-hosted and used to feel dumb about it until Kris told me that blowing up my site was a sign of a bona fide blogger.)
This is my inaugural post:
***
I’m new to the whole concept of “blogging.” I’ve been thinking about doing it as a means to distribute my propaganda. Namely, pictures and information about my kids.
After a night out with the girls last night…
I was inspired to get started. Now, a late night and an early morning (ala those same kids) does not make for an alert mind. I’m trying to see through the bleariness but it likely won’t get better until I have some of my beloved Diet Coke. Those who know me know I like the stuff. Those who know me well know that I don’t go a day without it.
I haven’t read many blogs, but what I’ve seen is that it is just a way for everyone to get their thoughts out there. Last night I started thinking…what do I have to say that people would want to read? Then I realized that we all have many aspects to ourselves, and I haven’t even discovered all of mine yet. Maybe some will come out as I write.
***
Maybe some will come out as I write.
Little did I know.
(Look at how LITTLE Graham and Nathan were. Makes me a wee bit nostalgic.)
Five years later and I call Leah, Sarah and Brenda friends. I have stayed at each of their homes and Leah is my BlogHer roommate this year. Funny, this thing called Internet. I’ve made many other friends thanks to this site, far more than I could ever link to, but some of my favorites will be guest posting for me while I’m on vacation next week. Wait for it.
Since going self-hosted with Dutch Blitz I have written 1,344 posts, received 22,252 comments, read an unlimited number of emails, Twitter replies and Facebook responses. You guys have showered me with love and laughter and a plethora of, “ME TOO!” statements. I find myself surrounded by a community that is like none other.
Here is where I give a big Thank You. Thanks for reading, for listening, for commenting and for just being here. I’d speak into the void if I had to, because I cannot help it, but you guys have filled that void.
If you want to help me celebrate five years of ramblings, feel free to say hello. If you need to answer a question, how about your favorite color? I’ll go first.
Hi! My name is Angella and my favorite color is blue. Red is a close second. Since having a girl, pink and purple is on the radar. Ish.
And you?
It is no secret that I am a fan of blogging conferences. I mean, I’ve only ever been to BlogHer (San Francisco, 2008 and Chicago, 2009)(I’d link, but I’m lazy/tired). I’m all booked for the BlogHer conference this August in New York. (New York! I’ve never been! And have always wanted to go! And will probably spend the entire time acting as one who is existing on exclamation points!) There are other conferences, I know, but I have a husband and children and a job and a life that all need me here for the most part. BlogHer is my must-do and it is a good fit. Some people go there in an attempt to build their “brand” or to try to climb up the high school “popularity” ladder or to stir up more drama than they are able to do online.
Me? I go to hang out with my friends. I am all about community. (And also, Community – one of the funniest shows ever.)
This past weekend, a different kind of conference occurred. There were no sessions, no keynote speakers, and the only swag available consisted of pins.
Tequilacon decided to jump the border and come to Vancouver.
A “tequila conference” might sound rather raunchy and debaucherous, but no. It was basically a bunch of bloggers meeting at a popular pub (Steamworks) who ate dinner, had a few drinks and laughed until their sides hurt. An added bonus? My sister Dayna had just moved back from New Zealand after a two-year stint of living across the pond. When she showed up at my hotel, the moment we saw each other, we literally ran a full-force with our arms wide open.
She told me that a few of the fellow attendees could see the resemblance between us. I have never seen before it but in that photo, I think I do.
So! What do bloggers do when they get together? Well, there’s a lot of mustaches involved.
Miss Hillary is the creator of ’staches on a stick.
Did you know that I shot her wedding two summers ago? If not, well, now you do.
Sizzle rocked her ’stache while Mr. Darcy looked on.
They are seriously the cutest.
Kerri was working the ’stache.
She even has a traveling ’stache website. OH YES SHE DOES. I’m even featured on the site. See?
Cayly used her ’stache to introduce herself to a fine young lad who was sporting a real stache.
Their story from that night is one of the cutest things EVER.
Jen was with us as well but I somehow missed getting a photo of the two of us. I was probably too busy talking. I know that it’s hard to believe but it happens occasionally. Or always. (Updated! Sizzle posted one of us on Flickr!)
It was simply a great night of hanging out with friends, telling ridiculous stories and laughing until you wondered if breathing would ever be an option again.
I try not to wax poetic (or tragic) about blogging here, but I have to confess that I have wrestled with it a lot lately. Wondered if it still fit into my life, if I should keep going, if maybe I should just bid adieu and carry on carrying on. Spending time with these people who know me and get me and who I would not even know if it were not for this here site (Well, except for Dayna. OBVIOUSLY) made me realize that maybe I need to stop analyzing this space and just using it when I want to, like the good old days. So, you’re stuck with me. For now.
***
Nothing at all blogging-related, but entirely consuming me is my daughter. We got notice last weekend that this past Saturday would have Miss Emily showing up to ballet class in her recital costume. She was required to have a proper bun (Water, gel and hairspray, oh my!) and to have her makeup done. Blush, eyeshadow and MASCARA.
The teenage years are going to kill me, you guys. Anyone have a tower we can rent so that we can lock her away?
I don’t like to blog about blogging, mainly because I don’t like to read posts about blogging. This is not to knock those who do so; I would just rather hear about diaper explosions, sleepless nights, parenting dilemmas, nights out on the town….you know – life outside of your site. For me, reading blogs about blogging is like listening to a preacher preach about preaching or a singer sing about singing. I’m all, “Really?” And then I move on to something that I find more engaging.
I’m sitting down tonight to write my thoughts on blogging because all signs seem to be pointing that I need to. I have had a number of emails and comments in the last few weeks to do with this thing called Blog and I think I need to get my thoughts about it out there so that I can move on and write about more important things like pre-schooler temper tantrums and seven-year-old’s who think they are seventeen.
The blog-related conversations I have been having seem to fall into two camps: Comments (or lack thereof) and how (or why) to even get started. I had one commenter say that she had thought about starting a blog but didn’t know where to start and asked, “How did you get so many readers, anyway?” Almost five years into this gig, I’ll let you in on my secret: I have no idea. I hope that helps.
Anytime I am asked why I started this site I give an honest answer: I started it as a way for family and friends to see what we’re up to. It’s morphed into more than that, yes, but it is still the core of why I sit down here a few times a week to bang out my thoughts. I am a social creature by nature. Small children and a busy schedule make it almost impossible to catch up with the people in my life and sitting down for a half an hour or so a few times a week to get my thoughts down is an easy way to stay connected. The big stuff is there for people to read and keep up with us. I can then use my other spare moments during the day to catch up on everyone else.
As for the comment thing, I may sound like an old fart but they aren’t what they used to be. Friends who are considered “Big” bloggers have lamented this fact as much as friends who may not have the same traffic numbers. I know that personally, my blog subscribers and readers keep growing, though comments are far less than what they used to be. I once read a statistic that only 2% of readers commented. I think that number has declined to a mere 1%, if not 0.5%. It’s not you; it’s them. Everyone is busy and many people are trying to build their own blog empires and some people might feel like they’re cooler if they don’t comment. Or maybe a billion other reasons.
It’s not like I am immune to “comment anxiety”. Every time (EVERY TIME) I hit publish I feel like a high-fivin’ white girl. I’m standing there, arm in the air, waiting (hoping) for someone to validate me. I’ve gotten better over the years, but GLORY BE was I an insecure mess back when I first started. Now, once I get one sweet soul chiming in, I breathe easy and back away from the “Blow Up The Site” button. All of this to say that you are not alone. Me too. I hear you. We’re soul mates and all of that. Related: It’s the Internet. Let’s not take it too seriously, ‘mmkay?
The people I consider close friends do not buy into the hype. They don’t chime in on the latest Internet drama. They crack me up daily. They write about becoming superheroes. They write about being homeless. They are just awesome. They wonder how they got the life they have. They write about broken relationships and hope for the future. They write about I DON’T KNOW. They do the best Oscar recap EVER. They write about dive bars and about Irishmen. They make the best illustrations on the planet (Including my banner. Yo.) They are as ridiculously crafty as the last girl. They rock the every day. They make me shout, “TWIN!” They write about life. Including prairie life, life in Vancouver and life in New Zealand.
I could go on, but I think you get the point. If you are one of those people who are befuddled/confused by posts about stats and traffic and SEO and blah, blah, blah… please don’t give up. There is a whole world of people out there who are just like you. They may not know you (Yet) but they are just. like. you. Possibly? Even more awkward. But you didn’t hear it from me.
Whether you are new or old to this thing called Blog, I want you to keep on keeping on. Do it because you want to. Write when you want to write, comment when you want to comment, and get out in the real world and live your life every chance you get. Unless you’re striving to be the next Dooce (Good luck with that) blogging should not be a stress in your life. It should be something that you consider to be good and fine and FUN. The best way to make it as good as it can be is really, truly simple.
Write like nobody’s reading.
It’s no secret that I love my friends with the same wild abandon that I love my family and my life. I pray for them, I listen to them, I root for them. I will do anything for them, save anything that is just ridiculously insane such as drinking Diet Pepsi instead of Diet Coke. I have standards, people.
I have managed to be showered with the greatest friends a girl could ever hope for. Their personalities and histories vary wildly but there is one thing that they all have in common: They are Good People. Not only that, the majority of them will make you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts and you have tears streaming out of your eyes.
My friend Tamara is one of those people. The double blessing here is that she lives a mere five minutes away, as opposed to those friends I have to fly to other countries to see.
Tamara doesn’t have a blog (Well, she did, twice, then blew them up), but you may recognize her from the many times I have posted photos of nights out with her and Amanda.
(Me (Duh), Amanda, Tamara)
Now Tamara has gone and done something that I am SO PROUD OF HER for. She has a passion for fashion and beauty products and went ahead and started an online boutique.
You can find it here: http://www.lacoquetteboutique.ca/
All prices are in Canadian dollars, but she will ship to the U.S. as well (You lucky Americans and your stronger dollar). Shipping is FREE for orders over $50. She also includes FREE SAMPLES. Not only that, 2% of her profits go to Sleeping Children Around The World.
Oh! She’s also doing a contest for February - everyone who places an order (over $25) is entered to win a $50 gift certificate at the end of the month.
I told you she was awesome.
When she first told us about her dream I told her that I would use my little corner of the Internet to point people her way. “Use my power (Ha!) for good.” She had said that she’d give me a gift certificate to give away to my lucky readers but then she went and gave me a gift certificate for my birthday and I didn’t want her giving everything away.
So, a plan was born. I told her that once she had all of her stock in, I would host a giveaway and pay her gift forward. One lucky reader of this here site is going to have $50.00 to spend at La Coquette Coutique. Plus, I’ll cover the shipping for Tamara. FIFTY BONES, dudes.
I know that you’re “supposed to” tell your readers to Tweet/Facebook/etc. the contest to drive traffic your way, but meh. I don’t want some drive-by swag hag winning something that I want to give to those of you come by here faithfully. By all means, tell your friends about La Coquette Boutique (and the contest if you want) because I want her to have exposure. It’s not about me.
How do you enter to win? It’s really easy:
1. Click on over to La Coquette Boutique and have a look around.
2. Leave a comment below and tell me what you would spend your $50.00 on.
I plan on spending mine on the Patina eye shadow from Kevin Aucoin (MAC was SOLD OUT of a similar shade when I went there last week. Your loss, MAC) and I want to try this mascara from Blinc.
I’ll keep the contest open until Sunday, February 7th, at 9pm PST.
What are you waiting for? Go check it out and enter below. Good luck!
I’m sitting here feeling pretty much identical to how I felt last year while trying to sum up my California experience. Travel days aside, I had three full days of, well, awesome. Each day could be a post (or two) in itself but even then I’d miss explaining what made it so amazing. If you are a Flickr friend you may have seen the little blurbs attached to the photos and already have an idea of what I am talking about. I’m going to follow last year’s wrap-up technique of sharing some photos, talking a bit about them and then using my personal journal to capture the rest of it for myself.
First off I just want to state for the record that I love Southern California. I’ve loved it for as long as I can remember. Yes, there are many reasons that people have for hating it but I think there are infinitely more reasons to love it. There’s the sun, the sand, the ocean, the vibe. Each and every time I’ve come here my heart starts to smile the moment the plane starts its descent. I think I could be perfectly happy living here but I also love my home and community beyond belief, so. I’ll just have to settle for visiting here when the opportunity arises.
I got in on Thursday night and took a shuttle to casa Secret Agent Josephine. She was kind enough to save me some supper as LAX has nowhere to buy food on the arrivals level. What is up with that? Anyway, Brenda and I sat side by side on the couch both catching up and playing on dueling laptops. She introduced me to Unhappy Hipsters (Ha!) and The Oatmeal (I love the “How to Suck at Facebook” one. It’s funny because it’s true.) In the midst of this I notice that Kerri Anne was online – she’s in Beijing! We talked about what our respective times were and she said the best quote ever: “Dag, yo. This is awesome. I’m IN THE FUTURE.”
On Friday morning, Brenda, Bug and I meandered down to the small beach that’s carved out of the cliffs. We sat on the lifeguard tower, pulled out our respective moleskins and did some journaling. I kind of love the illustration she did of me.
We met up with Sarah and Wito, jetted to the mall for some Barnes & Noble time and lunch. I spent the afternoon with Sarah (Talking about anything and everything, and) teaching her the manual settings on her camera. I’m excited to see what she does with it.
That night we managed to sneak away without her boys for a dinner out together.
I just love her.
Saturday was a little less jam-packed, which was a nice break. I don’t sleep well (in general, or) when I’m away from home and I only managed to get a sum total of ten hours of sleep between Thursday and Friday nights. I spent Saturday morning sitting in the sun at a Starbucks and reading my book. Sir Danny picked me up for a belated birthday lunch and to present me with my belated birthday present.
If you know Danny at all, then you know that he started working at Oakley at the beginning of January. One of the (many) perks of his job is that he gets a limited number of sunglasses for FREE. Since I’m his Internet BFF and all of that, he asked me if I wanted a pair of said Oakleys. Kerri helped me pick out a set that (we thought) suited me when I was in Portland and I sent off my order. I’ve only ever bought cheap shades and now know why people cough up money for the brand name ones. They are the best. Sunglasses. EVER. He and I picked up our lunch from some deli and went and sat down at Laguna beach. Warm sunshine, cute puppies galore and great chats with my buddy. He’s just one more example that I really do have the raddest friends on the planet.
Saturday night was the dinner with everyone else. Brenda had to babysit but we had a great turnout of some fantastic people.
Rebecca, Sarah and Lisa.
Brandon and Danny.
Lena and Yvonne. Yvonne took some pretty awesome photos of the night.
Sunday was spent driving down to Oceanside to meet Bethany, Annalie and Jen for lunch and to sit on the beach for awhile. The evening was spent lounging on Sarah’s couch and playing Words With Friends against each other while watching the Grammys and realizing how old we truly are. I’d post more photos of the weekend but my brain is fried so I will kindly direct you to the Flickr set.
Monday was a full day of travel (I left her house at 7 a.m. and got home at 7 p.m.) but I am finally home. It’s fun to go away but it’s always so much better to be home. My family is a part of me and there were many times over the weekend where I physically ached…and a few times where I possibly cried. Sigh.
That’s all I’ve got, folks. It was a high level summary but I think you get the general idea. The rest of it will have to remain tucked inside of my heart for those days where I need a little bit of sunshine.
I feel like I have spent a lot of time (The term “waxing poetic” comes to mind but then I started to wonder what it actually means. I have waxed certain body parts and there is absolutely nothing poetic about it. Besides, the term doesn’t quite fit, so) writing about all of my mixed emotions with me returning to work full-time in an office. I miss out on ten hours a day of home life while my husband holds it all together. Upon my arrival home we have dinner, make lunches for the next day, get homework done, watch American Idol. I am engaged from the minute I get home until the moment the kids are laying there with those imaginary “Zzzzzz’s” above their heads.
Our weekends are full to the brim with togetherness. I wanted to give Matthew a break from parenting on Saturday so that he could have some time to get stuff done. I ended up carting them around for NINE HOURS between groceries, ballet, a trip to the mall (We lived to tell about it!) and a trip to my friend’s home salon to get my hair done. Sunday consisted of church and hosting some family members for dinner. We’ve been immersed in togetherness over here. While the weekends are a little, shall we say, chaotic they are good and fun and a good balance to the weekdays where I’m gone during the day.
The “working mom” guilt has eased up a bit. The kids are adjusting to me being gone and I’m getting used to my new routine. They’re still super excited when I walk in the door but leaving in the morning has been a little less heart wrenching. We’re getting into the groove of it all. This means, of course, that I have to go and throw a wrench into the works.
If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know that I abhor winter with the fierceness normally reserved for things like social injustice or skinny jeans. Last winter was a particularly long one and my husband ordered me to get myself down to California to soak up some sun. I did, and we all had such a great time that we decided to make Desperate Bloggers an annual event. I booked my plane tickets months ago…long before I knew I would be returning to work full-time at the office.
I’ve been vacillating between sheer excitement to see (the sun, and) my friends and feeling like a Bad Mom for going away for the weekend. Thankfully for me, I have a husband who will more than fill my void when I’m gone and who has told me to GO and HAVE FUN. Heck, he even told me to treat myself to a hotel for half of my stay (The other two nights will be split between couches belonging to Sarah and Brenda) so that I could have some alone time. He pointed out that I will soon be working overtime and have no plans to go away again until New York (for BlogHer) in August. He’s also planning a few snowmobiling weekends away, which means that we’ll be even on the solo-parenting front.
So, I’m going to go on my trip (Today!) without any guilt. I’m going to miss my family terribly, yes, but I’m also going enjoy just being me for a couple of days. I’m going to soak up the sun, take hundreds of photos and spend time with some particularly rad people. Then I’ll return home refreshed and ready to jump back into this (hectic, yet) fabulous life with my family.
Have a great weekend, folks. I know I’m sure going to.
It’s perfectly fitting (and a little ironic)(Or maybe not because I’m Canadian, as is Alanis, and she didn’t know the definition of irony) that the day after I posted that you do what you love, I boarded a flight to Portland. You may remember that for Christmas, Matthew surprised me with a trip to see Kerri. It was completely unexpected, I was utterly shocked and, well, my mind was a little blown.
The irony/relatedness to my last post is that I was being sent on a trip to stay with someone that I first met through my site but has since become one of my heart friends in “real life”. I think it’s time that I ditch those quotes.
***
On Thursday night I arrived home after work and participated in our new nightly routine where the kids do a dog pile on Mommy when I walk through the door. This lasts pretty consistently until bedtime. Have you ever tried to walk around the house with children the clinging to your appendages? It’s difficult but it’s also a good workout, so at least there’s that.
The first few days back to work have been fine and good and awesome. I’m getting into the groove. We’re getting into the groove. The kids have taken to cramming their day’s worth of love and hugs into the two-hour window between my return home and their bedtime. It’s a little overwhelming but when your child looks at you with those big eyes full of love and asks if they can have a hug, saying no just isn’t an option. Even if you’ve given five hugs in the last twenty minutes. They constantly tell me how much they miss me and how much they love me and how much they wish I were HOME and, GAH. Killing me a little, even though I know that they’re fine and that Daddy is amazing. We’re in the adjustment phase and while I know this in my head, my heart hurts a little. Or a lot.
When the kids were in bed on Thursday night I tried to finish my packing but was overcome with tears. What kind of Mom leaves their kids the same week that they return to work full-time? A Mom who SUCKS, that’s who. I poured it all out to Matthew while doing the snotty/hiccup-y cry and he heard me out. He then reminded me that this was all his idea. The kids would be fine. He would be fine. He wanted to do this for me and he thought that I deserved it.
To do so with a heavy heart would be disrespectful to the man who made this happen. I set out with a happy heart instead.
***
There’s something that’s been in the back of my mind for a long time and I’ve been meaning to explore it. The whole gist of it has to do with the question of who I am. It might not be a question, but more of an exploration.
At the core, I am Angella. I am full of love and full of faith and full of fire and full of all that makes me me. That core may be whittled and shaped over the years but the center is solid. It makes up how I think, how I relate, how I am. It’s the outer extremities that stir things up and flesh out my being. There’s the Angella who is a wife and the Angella who is a Mom and the Angella who is an employee and the Angella who is a friend…
In the past few years I have been given the gift of exploring the extremities of me that are different from the Wife and the Mom extremities. I have a core group of girls at home who know my heart, who love me fully and who can get me into the silent laughter. I have been doubly blessed in that I have found another group of these friends who just happen to live nowhere near me. I don’t feel that exploring these other variations of me detract from my other roles. Instead, it seems to make them burn brighter somehow. It’s similar to how with each kid that you have, your heart grows that much bigger. By stretching the muscles in those long-forgotten corners of myself, I somehow come out the other side an even fuller version of me than I ever was before.
***
My weekend in Portland was nothing short of amazing for a hundred different reasons. I missed my family like mad but being in a different city (and a different country) makes the heartache a little bit duller. My days were filled with inaugural experiences (Trader Joe’s!), long talks about everything and nothing and more belly laughs that I can count. The only downside to the weekend is that I have no idea how to sum it up here in any way that will give it justice. I’ve posted some of the stories in the Flickr set so you might want to check those out if you want a glimpse into The Awesome. Here are a couple of my favorites:
(Click on them to read the stories (and comments)).
Kerri’s Flickr set is here and my set from our trip to the Chinese Gardens is here.
I don’t know how to wrap this up except to say that despite a few late nights in a row, I came home feeling refreshed. I’ve had time away from the every day to not just have a good time, but to work through some things on my head and get focused for the year before me. For a myriad of reasons I am nearly bursting with excitement for 2010. Kerri sent me an email that has a line in it which sums up how I’m feeling:
I am just as excited for your year, and all of the amazing things you are going to do and see and feel, and all of the ways you are going to surprise yourself with your own inherent radness.
I hope all of you reading also surprise yourselves with your inherent radness. It’s going to be a great year, folks. I can feel it.
