If you know me at all, you know that I am the stereotypical oldest child. I did well in school (Skipped third grade! Holla!), have always been (relatively) smart with my money and have a work ethic that is strong…and borderline insane. Organization soothes my soul and conversely, disorganization rattles me to the core. I make lists upon lists, plan our meals a week in advance and like to know the general game plan of our life months in advance. I believe that the technical term for me is “Type-A.” My brand of said infliction comes with a dash of anal-retentiveness. It makes me special.
My personality is one that affects my work life on so many levels. I am one of those people who hates to have outstanding tasks hanging over my head. They are almost like a physical presence, standing behind me and breathing down my neck. Like a big, fat hairy task manager with bad BO and breath that smells like something crawled into their mouth and died. When I have work assignments I want to get them done as soon as possible so that I can feel the relief of marking everything off of my list (and telling the hairy beast to step off already). It’s like I feel guilty for doing anything remotely fun or enjoyable if there is something waiting for me to deal with.
My personality has (obviously) molded the way that I parent my children. From the moment I first found out I was pregnant I wanted to make sure that I did everything “right.” I read dozens of books, called countless friends for advice, analyzed (and re-analyzed) every decision I made, from when to introduce foods (Good grief. WHEN THEY’RE HUNGRY) to when to potty train (Good grief. WHEN THEY’RE READY). I had three kids in less than four years and I spent every waking moment attending to their needs. I worked when I needed to in order to help keep our roof over our heads. Oh, and I would also cram in semi-regular date nights with my husband so that we would remember that we actually liked each other in addition to loving each other.
There really was little time for myself in the midst of breastfeeding and diaper changing and letting my kids hold my fingers so that we could”walk” for an hour on end while they learned that essential skill. I put “me time” on the back burner and told myself that this was only for a season, unless I wanted “me-time” to occur after midnight. I’d rather be sleeping, thanks.
In the past year or so as my kids have gotten a little older and less dependent on me for every single thing I have started to claim back my “me time.” Getting back into exercising has been a huge part of it; I feeling great about myself physically (for the most part) and have found that I am much better equipped to deal with the stresses in the rest of my daily life. Double bonus.
I have still struggled with the work issue and wanting to have every task done before daring to actually enjoy myself. I finally clued in to a truth that so many others have already figured out. Work will always be there. Whether I take a break or not, something else is always coming down the pipe. If I wait until I have absolutely nothing left to take care of, I will be sitting in a rocker on the porch of a retirement home and wondering why I didn’t just take the time to ENJOY LIFE ALREADY.
I was thumbing through an old journal the other day and saw a quote I had jotted down after seeing it stitched on a pillow at an antique store.
Don’t be so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.
I needed that reminder.
This is why when Amanda called on Friday to see if I wanted to head out with her and Tamara, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. I usually work on Friday nights but the work could wait until Saturday. And it did.
I have really been figuring out this balancing thing lately and refuse to feel guilty for taking little bits of time for myself.
I am going to be Matthew’s wife for eternity and will give my all to that place of honor.
I am going to be a Mommy to Graham, Nathan and Emily for eternity and will give every ounce of effort to do the best I can for them.
I am also going to be Angella for eternity. I need to give her a little bit of attention and nourishment so that she has the strength and ability to fill her other roles with grace and dignity. With a dash of humor thrown in for good measure.
Amen! That’s why you need some good, slothful friends in your life to lure you into fun when you should be working. Conversely, I wish I could absorb some of your work ethic every time we hang out. I need help. Just ask Steve.
Amanda Brown’s last blog post..Back To the Future
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Pfffft. Your work ethic is just fine. I’ll tell Steve
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That first paragraph? TOTALLY ME TOO. And the second paragraph too. Oy.
So glad you got some “you” time in!!! I got some too. Now I’ll be working (editing photos from a shoot and finishing up year end for a bookkeeping client) tonight before I go to my “real job” tomorrow. Making a living sure takes up a lot of living time, doesn’t it
Jen’s last blog post..Today
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I learned a huge lesson in the same vein this week. I truly hope that I can use it as a message to enjoy my life and what we have at the moemnt, rather than always look ahead.
TUWABVB’s last blog post..The Second One
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
It’s a constant struggle, no?
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Good for you!!!!!
Love that picture and that quote is absolutely positively SPOT ON
rachel-asouthernfairytale’s last blog post..A Special Father’s Day Tribute
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Good for you for taking some “me” time! Sounds like you’re doing a pretty fantastic job balancing everything now. Your life seems both crazy busy and very blessed with that sweet family you’ve made and good friends.
karen’s last blog post..but I get up again
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Amen to that! Totally agree. I love my “me time” and my husband and children know that if I get it, I am a happier/better wife/mummy than if I don’t. Plus, my boys love hanging out doing “boy stuff” while I’m doing my own thing. It’s a win-win situation!
Hannah’s last blog post..Heaven’s Halley’s Comet
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Why is it so hard to do something for yourself after you have kids? I have been on one, no maybe two, dates since Avelyn was born 14 months ago. My poor hubby. I guess when he gets back in SIX WEEKS (loser) I should make some time for US. Damn you and your sense making. Damn being the first born OCD-er.
Jennifer W.’s last blog post..Little bit o’ sunshine
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Sorry ’bout that. But not sorry if you get a Date Night. Woo!
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I really like how you wrapped this one up. For eternity… good job.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Goal update and blatherings
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You are a smart woman.
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I loved this post. It is so easy to get wrapped up in life that you forget to, uh, live it. Great quote, great post, great picture! Glad you had a great night out with the gals
hillary’s last blog post..You Want Me To Twist It Twist It For You A Little Bit Twisted
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That is a very good lesson to learn. One that I have problems with myself
Crystal’s last blog post..The Thought That Counts
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I’m so glad your “type A” personality knows when to have a good time! {wink, wink!}
P.S. Your friends look like sisters! : )
Elaine’s last blog post..I Have to Admit…
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Don’t they? I also find it funny that almost all of my closest friends are blonde…I’m often the lone brunette
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I am special too, we have the exact same personality
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:11 pm
You ARE special
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Don’t be so busy making a living that you forget to have a life.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that.
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I know. Ten years later and I still remember seeing it on that pillow and blinking at the truth of it.
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I always say “Work to live, don’t live to work.” Because I once had a job that consumed my life. And once I got out of it, I realized there is more to life than your job. And ever since then, I’ve vowed to just have a job that makes me happy enough, allows me to pay my bills, and doesn’t make me work overtime so that I can enjoy life! We only get one!
Kristabella’s last blog post..Not Blinded By The Light. Anymore.
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angella Reply:
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Word.
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Well said
Kami’s Khlopchyk’s last blog post..A Penny for my Thoughts
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Perfectly said. And I agree completely.
Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..2005
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I’m the same way! I love this post – totally agree.
Nicole’s last blog post..Inner Peace
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Great post. And thanks for the reminder.
Danica’s last blog post..1:45 My Day So Far:
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You guys are so beautiful! I LOVE your necklace!
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