An Ode To My Very First Baby

I am weeping too. Thank you, Angella.

Wow. This made me cry. We went throught the exact same thing with our first pregnancy as well and I also had the D/C and did not do well with being put under….very scary situation actually. We had to wait for 6 months to try again due to the circumstances and I wondered if I could ever carry a baby. We wanted one so bad. When we did get prego with Kaitlyn it was that much more precious though, we prayed so hard for her and never took anything for granted after that.

Oh wow, you weren’t kidding…powerful post.

Angella, I’m truly so sorry for that loss and so very happy that you were blessed with Graham so shortly thereafter. Not that anything can replace your first baby love, but knowing who cradles Him certainly takes away death’s sting.

Blessings momma.
Love you.

You’re more amazing than I thought. You are one brave woman surrounded by amazing people. Thanks for sharing your story Angella. Thanks for letting us share it with you. Those kind of losses make all the things we have and gain that much more precious.

wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……i just had a friend go though this too, so terrible. its so wierd i just want to give you a hug!

I’m crying too, Ange. I have never experienced the pain of miscarriage, but many close family members and friends have, and I have been with them through those times. It takes amazing strength and courage. You have both.

That made me sad I wish I could say something profound, but the words escape me. I like to think that those lost babies eventually return to their parents. They just weren’t ready for the world yet.

Thanks for sharing your story…while I haven’t had to experience this painful experience I have friends who have and my sister had it happen not only once but then go on to have it happen a second time at 7 months where she delivered a stillborn at that time. My love and prayers go out to you and to every woman (/and couple) who has to go through this. And you are right…Graham is a blessing!

awaiting my april blessing while recovering from my lost dream.
anxious to meet my “graham”.

thank you for sharing.

Oh you have brought tears to my eyes. I have never personally felt this loss, but my sister had suffered from 3 miscarriages before becoming pregnant with my 2 nieces. So, even though I haven’t felt it personally, I somewhat understand the heartache. (((HUGS)))

Oh my, Angella. I’m sorry for your loss.

I’m always a big believer of “things happen for a reason”, so I always try to look at the positives. In your case, Graham. I know that means very little compared to the big picture.

I just thank you for this Ode. Thank you for sharing.

How appropriate for me to read this tonight after finding out that a co-worker just miscarried on Saturday.

I’m sorry for her loss and yours. Because after having children, I can only imagine how devastating a miscarriage may be. I couldn’t imagine not having one of my 3 blessings. Man, now I’m crying….Thank you for sharing Angella. (((HUGS)))

Thanks for sharing this little piece of your life with us. I’m sorry for your loss, but happy that there was joy for you also.

Oh, wow. This is so beautiful.

One of my cousins had three miscarriages after her first baby, then went on to have five more. Six babes, three angels, is how she puts it.

I am sorry for your and Matthew’s loss, and thankful with you for the blessings of Graham, Nathan, and Emily.

I am so sorry…I can’t even imagine the pain you and Matthew felt. What a blessing Graham, Nathan and Emily are!Sending a hug your way!

I can’t stop crying! Thank you for opening your heart & sharing this story. I am so sorry for your loss … but am so happy that you have been blessed 3 times over!
We had a difficult time getting pregnant with our one & only child, but I have never (Thank God) experienced a miscarriage. We have been trying for quite some time now to have a 2nd child, so please pray for us.
On a lighter note, I’m taking a Bible study on Friday mornings well. ‘A Marriage Without Regrets’ by Kay Arthur. Have you heard of it? It is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! Maybe your group can do that next!

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I too have lost a dream. My first child, Ava, died seven hours after being born. We had to choose to take her off of life support and then I held her while she died in my arms. It was the absolute saddest thing I have ever had to go through.

And then I miscarried my second pregnancy.

I have my son now, my beautiful, perfect son, but a part of me still aches so deeply inside. It never does go away does it?

IM so sorry, nothing can make that pain go away. I too wrote of my experience, I was only 7 weeks, but in October, i miscarried as well. with my 3rd child. I had all the questions you did and of course the “how can i have children and miscarry?” type questions. I started the spotting just as you did, the doctors said I was fine it was normal. i sat in line waiting to pick up my son from school, i felt the pain, it was labor, then felt the blood. I knew our baby was gone. its a terrible experience to have to suffer through, but also, you find how many women go through this and they keep it all inside, so thank you for sharing, sharing your sweet love for your baby, your loss, your heart!

I too lost my first baby and it’s been nearly 10yrs since and I have yet to be able to get pregnant again, so believe me I too can feel the pain you feel.

You are such an amazing mom for sharing your story. It brought me to tears. People often don’t think of miscarriage as a loss or a death, but it is very much so. It is a loss you carry with you for the rest of your life. My sister in law had 5 miscarriages before having Lorelei. Their miracle baby. To this day, I still think she is incredibly strong to keep trying. My mom still often talks about her baby that would have been.

God let’s awful things happen to us to build our strength.

Wow. Powerful story. A huge loss and a HUGE blessing afterwards. The first thing I noticed about the quote was, Hey! They spelled Angella wrong! Apparently I’ve gotten used to the two “L” way after reading your blog for a while.

Thanks for sharing! I’ve had a similar experience, and it’s not fun. Bless you for pouring out your heart to us!

Thanks for sharing, Angella. Hugs, and God bless you.

I know a few people that would be so comforted by this. Thank you.

Thank You so much for sharing….This really really touched me:)
What a testament of hope that Graham is. A symbol of God’s grace.

Heartbreaking Angella, but isn’t it funny how life goes on and then you wouldn’t change it anyway. Because the world without Graham, wouldn’t be the same.

((BIG HUGS))

Oh, Ange. This is the most detail I’ve ever heard about your loss and it’s so heartwrenching. I know that your story will be a source of comfort to others who have gone through this pain.

That made me cry too. I lost my baby boy at 28 weeks last Dec. 28th so this is a hard month for me. Hope to start trying in January again.

My husband and I also suffered 3 lost dreams - the last one 17 years ago. The pain of it never completely goes away, but we too are so thankful for our 2 miracle babies - they are such a gift from God to us! Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing Angella. I hope to meet your first baby one day! But what would we do without Graham?

Tears. Big, fat, tears are falling from my eyes onto my keyboard. I don’t have to tell you why, you know already.

I appreciate you sharing this, my sweet friend.

I love you.

we lost our first “dream” too. at around the 10 week mark. our doctor was concerned right from the first blood test that my HCG hormone levels were low. but the heartbeat was strong, so we were optimistic. then i too experieced the “pink”. we went to the hospital, got an emergency ultrasound…and again the baby’s heartbeat was strong…so we were sent home. that night i miscarried. it was so devastating. the hardest part was our doctor telling me to think of it as a “sac of cells” at that stage of the pregnancy…i couldn’t fathom it. it was my BABY…not a sac of cells. i still wonder whether it was a boy or a girl.

I can relate to the loss of life and pray that the blessings held are greater than the loss for all those that have suffered the same.

I think you know my story, and that I weep with you. A dear friend has just had the same experience in the last few weeks and while I HATE that you or I or anybody ever has to lose a precious baby, I am grateful that my experience meant that I was able to care for her in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Thank you for sharing your pain to bless someone else.

Thank God (literally) for three happy endings.

We were really lucky when I was pregnant with D. I bled a lot and was told a miscarriage was likely and it wasn’t until he was born that I could actually believe he was okay. I know how lucky and blessed we were.

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