I had a comment added to my last entry that offended me a little. Don’t go looking for it – I deleted it. It’s my site, and I have the power to get rid of comments that don’t give me the warm fuzzies.
This person, who I don’t know, seemed to have the impression that I am against gaining weight when pregnant. That is so definitely NOT the case.
A little history…
I was always considered a “Big Girl” throughout my teens and early twenties. Not obese, but a good 15-20 pounds heavier than I needed to be. I finally learned that my metabolism wasn’t going to kick up a notch, or 10, on its own. I started working out & eating more veggies, fruit, meat, etc. The good stuff.
When pregnant with Graham, all that I had learned went out the window, and I gained a LOT of weight. I wasn’t retaining water, I was retaining all of the sugar and fat I was inhaling. At the end, I was 48 inches around. That’s four FEET.
As soon as he was born, I returned to my healthy ways, and it came off pretty fast. It was just a lot to come off, so it took longer than a weight gain in the normal range would take to come off.
With Nathan, I kept the weight gain in the recommended 25-35 pound range (closer to the upper end, but still), and felt good about it. I ate well for the most part, with the occasional (sometimes daily) treat. I’m doing the same this time around, and generally feel like I look fantastic.
Problem is, I’m a woman. And women get caught up in numbers. The numbers on the scale, the number on our clothing label, the number of calories in a Slurpee…
For the most part, I am much less concerned about the numbers than I was in my twenties. I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin. I take care of myself, and to top it off, I have a Honey who thinks I’m hot, even on my bad days. That being said, I’m a normal woman, and have “fat days” where I feel like a whale, even though I know I’m not. Those days usually happen about “once a month”.
In the first trimester, I yearned to have the pregnant belly. It seemed to take forever for me to show, and people were always telling me that I didn’t look pregnant. I wanted the basketball bump BADLY.
Now I have it, and I LOVE IT. I rub it, I wear fitted shirts to show it off, and I would kiss it if I could bend that way. BUT, I’m still a normal woman…
When you are pregnant, PC seems to go out the window. It seems to be perfectly acceptable for people to say, “Wow! You’re getting HUGE!” or “You’re really sticking out there!” or my personal favourite, “Are they SURE there’s only one in there?” I’ve had THAT one a few times.
Could you imaging walking up to a non-pregnant woman and saying, “You’re really bulging out!” Not cool. But it seems to be OK to say it to the pregnant woman. While I know in my HEAD that people are just excited about the baby (because I’ve been guilty of making the same comments), sometimes the insecure woman in me gets a little sensitive.
I am not in any way opposed to weight gain in pregnancy, whether in the “recommended” range or not. I just have days like everyone else, and some days in addition to feeling cute and pregnant, I feel a little “large and in charge”.
I just wanted to clarify, in case anyone else thought I was advocating that women shouldn’t gain weight while pregnant.That was not my intent. I’m just a woman, who loves her baby bump, and has the occasional sensitive day, due to the comments of others (and maybe a few extra hormones in my system). Call me human.
It is strange isn’t it that people take liberty to sat what they want when they want to a pregnant woman. Thinking there are no consequences.
You look amazing, you really do and anyone who knows you knows that you love this baby far more than you love yourself or the way you want to look. Don’t let a negative stranger get you down Ange. If they knew you at all they would have known what they said wasn’t true.
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I actually didn’t see the comment so i don’t know what was said. Everything you said is so true. I have the same issues. My ‘weigh-in’ is Thursday morning and I dread it every week. Doesn’t mean I am vain, or that I’m not wanting to gain a healthy weight for baby…I am human, a woman. I could go on and on, but won’t. Those comments from people just suck. Especially strangers. The other day someone actually said to me:’I feel so sorry for you, you’re going to work hard to lose that weight.’ Thanks, I would never have known:)
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Sigh, if only labour and delivery were the only pains that women had to endure. Love ya, Angella, keep being so honest.
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As if women dont struggle enough with their weight as it is- pregnancy is a roller coaster. You are doing fabulous, you look amazing, and more importantly than that, it sounds like Baby D is doing perfect.
I hope you dont feel you need to explain yourself because of one ‘mean’comment- any of us who actually know you understand where you’re coming from. 4 pounds weight gain in a month is exactly on target (for most of my pregnancy I was double that)
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Sister
Some people hey.You look fabulous and its not healthy for anyone to gain a bunch of weight during pregnancy, so beat it mr or mrs anonymous!
You look fabuuuuuuuulous dalllllllling….
ps, I still cant get in to your flickr private pics.
Thanks hun
have a great day
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I had never thought of it from the perspective of how consequences seem to go out the window when you’re talking to a preggo like that, but it’s so true! I too am enjoying my baby bump but I have to confess I’m already looking forward to getting rid of it! I hope you can remain comfortable the whole way through!
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I, for one, think you look absolutely marvelous.
And besides, how can a woman NOT gain weight when she’s pregnant? It just doesn’t work like that, duh.
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You are beautiful — best part? on the inside AND out, no matter the size.
Love ya.
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OH, I understand completely! I gained tons of weight when I was pregnant with both my boys, and still have a bit to lose. I was glad that my midwife never weighed me though, because I knew it would get me down sometimes. Especially because I knew I was gaining too much. I’m not having another baby but if I did, I would try really hard to only gain the “recommended” amount, which is exactly what you are doing – you are not trying not to gain any weight, you are just trying to gain an amount that will be easy to lose. That’s completely understandable!! Don’t let one person get you down, as you can see most of us here are in agreement with you and know just what you are talking about!!
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I know how you feel! I love my bulging belly…but every once in a while, I’ll check out a non-pregnant girl, who’s dressed nice and stylish, and has a flat tummy…and think to myself…”yikes, I’m fat…and not sexy!”
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I did see the offensive comment and didn’t realise you didn’t know the person (although I was surprised because you come across as pretty balanced about all that stuff). I’m glad you don’t know her, and that you deleted it. I agree that pregnancy has its challlenges when it comes to self image. I think pregnant women are beautiful, but when it was myself and I was struggling to heave myself out of a chair it felt much less glamourous. Have you seen the site http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com Its quite fascinating. There is “mummy nudity” so you might not want to look at it with your boys around.
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Ok, so you scared me for a sec and I thought it was me you were referring to as the bad commenter!
I love this post cause these are things I too think about almost on a daily basis. I love the b-ball bump too but with my first pregnancy I did not eat as well and gained more than I should have. Losing that extra weight after he was born was not only physically hard, but even more so, emotionally difficult! I almost like being prego and welcome the mat. clothes and everything b/c, as you were saying, everybody expects you to have a belly…and it’s cute!
Oh yes, and BTW how many calories are in a Slurpee anyways??…wait, on second thought don’t tell me, I don’t even wanna know! That’s why I sweat it out at the gym so I DON’T have to worry about the occasional indulgence (and when it comes to Slurpees, man do I indulge!) T=)
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I DIDN’T take your last post as though you didn’t want to gain weight and have the same sort of feeling “fat” days. Some people seem to be overly sensitive about women not wanting to gain weight while pregnant. I have had some interesting conversations about it with people. And they seem to judge women who try not to become a beluga whale. Trying to be healthy shouldn’t be a bad thing. It’s not that we don’t want to gain weight, we just don’t want to gain TOO much.
You look amazing – perfectly pregnant – it’s a beautiful thing.
It’s because of who you are on the inside that shines through on the outside- it’s obvious the commenter didn’t know you, ’cause I don’t know you that well but I see it
I am sure all your friends comments above have helped you forget!
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Love your expanding pregnant belly. It is the one thing about never being pregnant again that I miss.
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I saw that comment and it sounded like an “old school” nurse I had at the clinic once when I was taking my son in for his shots. Like her goal was to let me know that I was doing a terrible job, and that I didn’t know anything about child rearing. Even though I knew she was so off and didn’t know anything about me, it still hurt to have her “preach” at me. And in your case, of course you know you have to gain weight! You just want to look glamorous while you do it…and I think you look great! Hopefully after 20 good comments, it’ll erase that bad one in your memory.
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:hugs: People can be so insensitive….I actually had a woman lift up my shirt when I was about 5 months preggo because she didn’t believe I was. People definitely take different liberties.
I think (from your pics) you are BEAUTIFUL Darling!
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I am so sick of people leaving little nasty comments. I am having the same situation on my blog. DO they not have anything better to do? You are beautiful and I am sure that all your friends know where your heart lies.
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I can’t believe someone left such a nasty comment. I have never had a nasty comment left on my blog (but i am newer at this) and hope i never do. You look beautiful (from your pictures).
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Women beat themselves up enough about EVERYTHING, especially having the right attitudes about weight. The last thing we need are stranger’s doing it for us.
Some people!
Hey stranger, are you reading this? Go blow it out your…
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